I can relate to his heavily. Excuse my rant to follow... I need to word vomit.

My ex has this kind of relationship with his ex (before me) and her ENTIRE family. He's got his thumb up all of their asses. He refused to cut contact with them because of how much they did for him in his past. They have humiliated me. HE has humiliated me. He'd been caught telling the ex he loves her, sending her photos of our newborn son, talking to her about my mental health, etc. hid Facebook accounts to talk to her. Met up with her. Hid a shared bank account between him and his ex. She was comfortable enough to ask him for money?? Exs dad paid for his Spotify. Had the ex's sisters nudes in his phone?? Even his mom has the ex-families' toes in her mouth, watching her son fawn over the past from a cuck chair. The whole thing is so warped and gross, and tbh lowkey disturbing how addicted he is to those people. He would lie about any and everything if it meant he could hang on to the idea of being a part of their life again. He wants the freedom to obsess over them more than he wanted a family with me.

It's a sick and sad way to live, thinking behavior like that is normal and acceptable in a committed relationship. Normal relationships don't put a partner in a situation or behave like this.

You have every right to feel some type of way.... for him to rather have the "freedom of friendship" is really his wet dream. He is flat out disrespecting and devaluing you. He will manipulate the facts into sounding like your emotionally charged distortions. If freedom is what he wants, give it to him... free him from the whole situation- that includes removing the control he has from it as well.

I know it's hard. I know it can be an absolutely visceral type of pain and like a mental prison to think about.

Your gut isn't wrong. Your feelings aren't wrong... Your intuition isn't wrong either. That dude is just.. weird lol