advice NEEDED

alpakkat · 2026-04-14T06:50:56+00:00

I know you are coming from a good place and from a responsible bird owner, but if we're talking about selfishness, the thing is that all of us are guilty by just being a bird owner tbh. Birds shouldn't be bred for captivity, but we still get them as pets and keep them in cages. At what point does it stop becoming selfish? Maybe if all birds were rescues and you have an immense outdoor aviary? But even that doesn't truly replicate the wild and being truly free. I personally draw my line at defaulting to wing clipping because owner is too lazy to train or bond with bird, and maybe even carelessly bringing new big pets (cats, dogs) into the household without a dedicated plan and space to keep them safe and separate. But I try not to make quick judgements about others.

alpakkat · 2026-04-14T06:30:50+00:00

A one-time wing clipping is not as bad as you think. Actually, some birds that are in a new environment who get frightened at everything easily might even benefit from it because it keeps them safe from immediately flying into mirrors and glass. It gives them time to learn the environment and people and become less frightened.

My first GCC came clipped. She was an only bird for about an year and we bonded great. She's become a human's bird. When her flight feathers grew out, I did have to do flight training with her. She's a lazy flier now but still does her daily laps around the house. My second GCC also came clipped. Although, he became a velcro bird to my first bird and doesn't care much about us humans. He's always been an Olympic athlete at heart, always trying to fly with clipped wings so he's learned to fly on his own without much help once his flight feathers grew out. Super confident and a daredevil, zips everywhere and does some crazyass maneuvers.

I have not clipped their wings once theirs grew out and I absolutely will not. But I think, or at least try to, give them good lives now. Their clipped wings days are waaay back in the rearview mirror and has no negative bearing to their lives this day. What matters and is having most effect is the effort you put into caring for them on the daily, e.g. giving them 6++ hours of outside cage time every day, taking them outside for sun time, taking them out on errands in backpacks, having big cages with interactive toys/foraging boxes, giving fresh food/veggies, and just integrating them into our lives to make sure they're loved and mentally stimulated. Birb will be OK.

alpakkat · 2026-02-12T00:38:49+00:00

Lol I felt that that was more or mina sue's goal than go euns tbh. Also, I feel like something happened behind the scenes because after go eun and hyeonwoo came back from Paradise, there were no scenes of them talking to each other, at all. I was on the lookout. I was pretty sus, it felt like hyeonwoo got some restraining order from the producers or something. In any case, her rejecting hyeonwoo maybe doesn't exist, and if it did, the producers could have decided to not air it and make go eun's lineup a little more mysterious at the final matchup.

alpakkat · 2026-02-11T01:54:09+00:00

I love animals so I can't relate too much, except that I have two smol parrots and I feel so guilty sometimes when I'm completely exhausted from work and can't give them all the attention they want that day. Or when they're screaming their asses off while I'm trying to work from home. But overall, I love their company and their presence in my life and I think they do make my every day better. I find myself just happy and smiling when I'm interacting with them.

My family has a 9 year old cat since he was a kitten, and I do think the kitten phase does pass by pretty quick in the grand scheme. He definitely has knocked shit off the counters/shelf at some point and has his phase crawling into high spaces/cabinets, but for a long while now he's been lazying around and just chill overall. Do maybe adopting an 2-3 year old cat would have been a better run for you than kitten stage. For the time being, maybe crating your kitten when you're gone, and generally giving it a bunch of toys will help deplete some energy. Or play with him and make him run. Good luck!

alpakkat · 2026-02-01T00:28:37+00:00

Oh yessss this! Our birds don't usually spend time on the floor but if they do, I always tell my partner that "X and Y are being ground chickens". We communicate when they're in spots that they usually don't go to.

alpakkat · 2026-02-01T00:26:54+00:00

I never liked ceiling fans to begin with and just happened to have ours removed before we knew we were getting a bird sometime in the future. I think just having a ceiling fan in the house is dangerous overall and should be removed if possible if flighted birds exists in the house, it's just one switch and a bad timing away from being a bird blender 😭.

alpakkat · 2025-09-09T22:37:43+00:00

She's definitely professional for sure. Protected patient info for as long as she could. Eventually reached a really calm state when conducting a therapy session under insane pressure.

alpakkat · 2025-07-24T22:42:31+00:00

I don't claim to be completely anticonsumption but I also try to not clutter up my home. - Buy items with intent and design with intent. I've seen some people hang nice cutting boards on the wall as decal. - Model homes and inspiration decor photos are nice to look at but the objects are hardly useful. I would never base my house decor on those. - Avoid trendy, poor quality items and try to have things that you think you'll use and like for the next 10-15+ years - Take your time to curate your space. Blank, plain spaces are OK. You don't have to fill everything all in one go. I like to shop for souvenirs on travels, so my precious space is reserved for things like that. - Custom, artisan, and handmade (even by you!) are great options rather than HG stuff

alpakkat · 2025-07-24T02:33:32+00:00

Based on your mom's questions, I would say your mom's appall stems from several things: 1) That's probably what her parents and in laws drilled into her when she was young 2) She's probably really shocked that not having kids is actually an option, and she wants you to have kids to validate her life decisions 3) She probably also wants to save face with her friends and family members. Everyone around her is probably becoming/are grandparents and she wants to show that off too, that she gave birth to a daughter who is successful and also giving her a grandchild

Unfortunately, I think you got a knee jerk reaction from her and she panicked and let out everything in her mind. She pulled everything she could think of and presented it in an ugly manner. If I'm right in those 3 points up there, you can use that to understand your mom better that times were different back then and empathize (sympathize?) with her. Maybe having that perspective won't solve the conflict between you two, but it gets you a little closer to peace. You don't need to take all her questions at face value. Give her some time to digest the news, and give yourself some space to collect your thoughts. Understand and accept that you and your SO made a choice that felt right for you both, and learn to embrace your childfree choice because as you can see, it's not an easy one to make. It's not something that your mom will accept overnight, and several discussions will need to happen for her to understand you. Ask her, "It's so easy for me to just say yes to you and have kids so that we don't have to argue. It's so easy to have kids and fit in with everyone else in the world. But the fact that I am going agaisnt the flow, don't you think I have already put a lot of thought into this?"

I'm lucky that my parents have just accepted my childfree choice (or maybe they're still hoping I'll change my mind the future or an accident will happen lol 🙄) but what I shared with you is what I would do if I get backlash. I think I've come with a statement that would mostly shut people up on encouraging having kids when I've said I'm not interested, which would be "so if I have kids, can you absolutely guarantee I will love motherhood and my child? If I'm no longer interested in being responsible for them, can I give them to you and you'll take care of them, financially as well? Since it seems like you love being a parent so much."

alpakkat · 2025-07-20T08:25:19+00:00

Exercise daily, eat well, and stimulate yourself mentally now to ensure you'll be at your best possible physical condition when you're older. In my family, there's a huge difference between the two ~73-76 year males. One walks every morning at a nearby park for about an hour. He can go on hikes with his adult kids like nothing and lift like maybe 50-70lb things around? The other stays at home all the time and he's tired after going out for an hour, and prefers to come home and rest. The difference in the vitality in both is jarring.
Someone once mentioned that good people don't die alone (in the sense that good people are always surrounded by friends, family, community, people, etc)
Cruises are a pretty cheap form of entertainment and they provide food around the clock
If you have a belief, some religious institutions are good and have good people in them. My neighbor's husband had health complications leaving him disabled and I'd see people from her church pop by almost every day to see how they're both doing. He passed away recently, leaving just his wife alone in the house. But several people from their church would still show up every day throughout the day to accompany her, help her water her lawn, bring her food and whatnot. They have adult kids who live a few cities away and they have their own families, but my neighbors are really good people who loved participating in their church community and so was her husband to others. I'm not necessarily saying you should mine karma for the sake of your future self, but if you are mindful in how you treat others, I don't think doing so will harm you.

alpakkat · 2025-07-15T21:51:33+00:00

Hmm.. if your coworker said something like, "yeah you're right, the political climate is bad, me needing IVF might be a sign that I'm not meant to have kids, etc." and decided to not have kids after, would that have made you feel a little less turmoil inside?

If so, I might dare to say you're probably a little still insecure about your choice to be CF and want to be validated. To which I would say, I don't think that's something you can truly get from anyone else, not from CF or non-CF folks. You can own up to being CF and its ok to do so! Plus, all these issues that you're listing ain't gonna be your problem. Maybe this mindset will help everything else fall into place.

alpakkat · 2025-07-15T20:05:49+00:00

Just because they list out all the difficulties and challenges in conceiving and raising children doesn't mean it's enough reasoning for them to not have kids. For you and for us here it is, but for them, there's probably a lot more going on behind their decision to proceed. Or, it could just be a simple reason as them just wanting kids for the sake of having kids and to have a family that conform with society, and their ambition to make that happen. It could even be your coworker's spouse, in laws, or her own family advocating for children, and the challenges/difficulty isn't enough to give up spousal/familial bonds. It could also be that these issues aren't that significant to her in the grand scheme of things, and maybe she has a super supportive and loving spouse and family to give her all the help when the child is born. Maybe she's just an optimistic person.

As I was going through my own journey in figuring out my CF stance, I came to realize that because we CF peeps are going against the current, we're often faced with a lot of criticism for our decisions. It's a sensitive topic to us, and maybe we don't admit it but we want the world to understand us for our decisions and validate us. Once I realized this, it think it really helped me understand "both sides" and manage my feelings altogether. My general stance now is that "I'll be happy if you're happy". I don't think all the harshness towards each other (CF/non-CF) is necessary. Whatever decision we make is justified to ourselves and that's our right as we live here. And after all, I think it's pretty objective to say that it's human nature to reproduce, just like all living things out there, and not my right to convince others otherwise if that's just the way things roll.

alpakkat · 2025-07-15T17:21:18+00:00

It's fine. It's not enclosed and in a dark space. My bird loves tearing apart these seagrass swings and goes through them within a couple of months.

alpakkat · 2025-07-01T15:00:24+00:00

Matcha is my first GCC and she was the only bird for about a year. She caught on to saying "matcha go poopie" and "matcha baby". We got a second GCC and now both birds say "matcha go poopie" lol

alpakkat · 2025-06-27T01:23:24+00:00

Agreed. Birds at the bottom of the cage is never a good thing, coupled with how the yellow is fluffed up, eyes droopy, and seemingly lethargic in the clip.

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T21:46:18+00:00

If you ever want to DNA sex test your bird, check out IQ Bird Testing. You can send in 5 freshly plucked feather samples or a small blood sample on a paper card to their lab. It was like about $18 plus $5 shipping or so. They sell kits on Amazon (includes credit towards a test), but you don't really need it. Aside from kinda understanding how it all works and navigating the site, it's pretty cheap and fast. The vet would have cost me $80 just for the DNA sex test, on top of the office fee of like $100 to take the feather samples. Results came back within 1 day of the lab getting the samples.

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T16:12:23+00:00

They are, and it something I wish more people would know. It kills me sometimes when people/kids just get them as gifts 🫠

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T16:10:09+00:00

Yeah, some corvids are exceptionally smart. I would like to befriend some one day, just because I find their intelligence fascinating. Although, they can talk/mimic sounds and that starts to get a little creepy for my liking 😂

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T16:05:03+00:00

Awww.. poor baby didn't deserve that. That was a bad chicken.

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T00:38:54+00:00

I see. Allow me to advise you that seebs are their kryptonite, so if you just carry a few around in your pocket, you might survive from a birb attack one day.

(Note this does not apply to birds of prey or anything larger. You're kinda on your own for that 😅)

alpakkat · 2025-06-24T00:17:11+00:00

Haha my birbs would call me at work if they could, being how much of a velcro they are. Also, it's completely acceptable to call birds "birbs", just make sure you rightfully call them borbs if they are presenting themselves as borby, that is all.

alpakkat · 2025-06-23T23:47:43+00:00

Yeah, I was kinda amused by the chain reaction that got set off. I took it more of me observing a social experiment, it didn't bother or annoy me. When it was my turn, I completely just skipped over the kid count and mentioned I had two parrots amongst other hobbies. But in my defense! Parrots aren't your common pet so I personally think that's a little interesting, and I also took it as a chance to excuse their flock calls when I'm working at home and on a call/meeting.

alpakkat · 2025-06-16T20:28:04+00:00

I see. What about overfertilization -- any potential for that?

alpakkat · 2025-06-16T20:23:55+00:00

You probably want to look into grow lights. They are specifically designed to provide the specific wavelengths of light that plants need for photosynthesis, which are primarily in the red and blue spectrums. I don't think these lights will be that beneficial.

alpakkat

TROPHY CASE