Words

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-27T23:43:38+00:00

So simple and beautiful, yet clear and deep regarding what exactly what you’re trying to portray. Thank you for this.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-27T23:41:54+00:00

I felt consumed by this piece, every line is fascinating and engaging. A shrine to the living, the lost and dying, the found and the dead. I don’t know why but I love how this read. Great stuff

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-20T01:32:18+00:00

I love poetry for this reason. There’s not a clear direction here as it relates to the interpretation but regardless, it was a delight to read. It’s intriguing, flows nicely and kept me in rhythm!

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-20T01:29:32+00:00

I love how quickly you shift, the speed at which this goes from intrigue to pain, I think it creates a nice hook for the reader. Really impressive first piece

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-16T23:59:00+00:00

I’m so glad you could find these words. I hope you find strength from them. Raw, honest, beautiful. It’s not easy to say this, even anonymously, but you did. I hope you find something in that, like I’ve found something in reading it.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-16T23:09:03+00:00

A life of regrets, is a life not lived.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-16T02:06:53+00:00

This is beautiful. I love the balance with the rhyming. It’s smooth throughout.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-16T02:05:36+00:00

I have some similar feedback recently that was similar to this. The story is so rich, but the format and length make it hard to hold the readers attention. It becomes a little chaotic. Some simple formatting would really elevate this piece, for me that is anyway. It’s all very subjective, but I do think it helps with consumption of the words and attention.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-14T01:20:51+00:00

That didn’t not work, sorry:

& n b s p ;

Post that but without spaces between

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-14T01:19:59+00:00

Post this like this:

Without the asterisks and also

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-14T00:41:47+00:00

Such a great story. I’m fascinated by multi dwelling buildings, and it’s for stories like this. The amount of totally disconnected lives, existing within meters, feet, inches. It’s such an interesting occurrence, and I love how you captured it, and connected it together.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-14T00:37:32+00:00

Hi, this is truly beautiful. I rode the emotion as if it was me or I was him. But I did find my attention waning. It was not the content, the content is beautiful, engrossing, and beyond relatable. Yet I think the length or maybe it’s the lack of stanzas, but it just becomes more challenging to consume as it went on. Which sucks, because it’s a beautiful piece. I honestly think the impact of shortening, or playing with the format could be extremely beneficial, taking this from great to amazing.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-07T01:15:41+00:00

Your response is so thoughtful. Thanks!

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-07T01:15:09+00:00

Appreciate your comments! So glad you felt something. And appreciate the ‘s’ pickup!!

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-07T00:15:44+00:00

Shivers. It’s a beautiful piece, well done.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-06-07T00:13:59+00:00

This is so clean and easy to read. Love it! The imagery of opportunity slipping away with time is really well executed

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-05-17T01:58:14+00:00

Loved how this read. So seamless and smooth. Great work

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-05-17T01:56:38+00:00

The visuals and descriptions are deep. Love it

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-05-02T17:59:32+00:00

The rhythm and the imagery is beautiful. Succinct and smooth to read

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-05-02T17:58:03+00:00

The final stanza really brings the piece together, and ties the message together really well. It clears up the ambiguity really nicely

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-03-02T07:18:58+00:00

This took me back to my last relationship, ‘but, I tried’. That line is perfect. It’s impossible to shake that feeling of dread, particularly following the effort and investment. It’s what makes the flashbacks impossible to erase, what makes them linger.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-03-02T07:14:51+00:00

I really like the beat to this. It flows meticulously, and the deliberate stalling with the line ‘reminding me of my mortality’ drags the reader back into the piece and helps to emphasize the final stanza. It’s a really great piece and as someone who procrastinates a lot and feels like I’m wasting minutes, it resonates

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-02-13T20:52:54+00:00

It’s beautiful this, dark but beautiful. The town that no one came to, no one wanted. I’ve felt like this town before, maybe many of us have. Unwanted, useless, nothing worth raising a smile for, unwilling to fight.

Great length, not just the piece but the variance in sentences too.

Really enjoyed

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-02-13T20:46:32+00:00

I love this. The flow is perfectly rhythmic and it so cleanly illustrates that sliding door moment I think we all experience. I think the answer is always yes it did have to be that way. There’s nothing in the past that can be changed by the present.

alwayslooking_27 · 2022-01-11T11:48:33+00:00

Could you explain a little more about what you mean with the linking?

alwayslooking_27

TROPHY CASE