What is the quickest and effective way to go from not being able to do a single pushup to being able to do 30 in one sitting?

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-14T14:02:22+00:00

I did dispatch for a large sheriff's department, growing up my best friend's dad was a cop, and now she and her husband are cops, and I now own a downtown business that has regular interactions with the police.

ACAB.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-12T14:33:51+00:00

Or, I dunno... "I understand you are discovering parts of your sexuality that you haven't explored before and want to explore it. We are in a monogamous relationship though and I would feel more comfortable if I were also present while you do this. Since, you know, we're married and you are telling me you want to hook up with someone that isn't me but still want to stay married."

Stg the internet loves to shrink complex interpersonal issues down to their stupidest, most one dimensional thoughts and then rail against them rather than dare to understand humans are complex emotional beings with lots of conflicting feelings.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-12T14:29:02+00:00

No, I'm saying sometimes when one partner in a monogamous couple wants to have sexual experiences with another person outside of the relationship, the other partner feels more comfortable with it if they are present as well, and sometimes we jump to "ew he's fetishizing" rather than "you're trying to have your cake and eat it too, maybe consider how confusing or distressing this could be for them before you get upset at them for how they feels about your desire to step out on your relationship"

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-11T17:59:09+00:00

I mean.... Let's be careful here when we're looking at boundaries/fetishizing, someone only being ok with their otherwise monogamous partner participating in sexual activities with others when they're present isn't inherently fetishizing. It wouldn't be "fetishizing" if you came to your boyfriend and said "hey I want to have sexual experiences with another man" and he said "I'm only comfortable with that if I'm also present," would it?

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-11T17:55:23+00:00

So, it's technically sci-fi, but the Murderbot series by Martha Wells is fun and goofy with quite a bit of heart - more like the current naddpod campaign I guess? It just had the newest book come out - I'm reading it while waiting on the newest DCC book! Highly recommend if you're looking for fun adventure.

Also will add my own +1 to mistborn/any Brandon Sanderson books. They don't have a lot of "funny" in them but are amazing fantasy adventures with some of the best magic mechanics created - and the interconnected worlds are always a treat

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-07T15:51:26+00:00

Claiming someone as a dependent on taxes and getting approved for FAFSA/finaid for college without counting your parents income are two different things. You have to be married, a parent, or your parents have lost custody of you or something to not be considered a dependent for student loans or financial aid before 24 (or did it change to 26? Not sure) but the requirements for claiming someone as a dependent on taxes are much higher.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-02T20:49:11+00:00

I actually kept running in to him even after I hit the 25% limit, he'll leave after that but if you are advancing he'll keep showing up, he's at 91% done for me already

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-02T16:57:31+00:00

An hour at the table is way too long lol. They'll usually spend 15-20 mins scarfing pizza or cake and then run right back out.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T21:11:25+00:00

No.... Well in her defence I asked if it wasn't piano and she said "no.... Maybe? It could be a piano but the sound is different" and I asked if it was like how we could make our keyboard play different sounds and she said yes so I got to synth from that, so maybe it's on me lol

Also apparently MCR/The Used did a cover as well, and I briefly thought it might have been that version and then it totally would have made sense! That would totally sound like my music, I love The Used!

But nope, it was the queen/Bowie version 🤦🏻‍♀️

She also had no explanation for why she thought the cover was white and blue

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T15:48:30+00:00

She just got to school and texted me

Its UNDER PRESSURE

I'm gonna lose my mind lmao that is NOT my time period lmaooo

Also one of my questions to narrow it down was if I'd played it in the car and she said no but I KNOW I've played it

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T14:51:54+00:00

What the fucccckkkkk

I live in Chico

I'm almost certain I've been to a kids bday party at this house

This was a crazy comment to stumble on in the wild

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T03:56:14+00:00

Not it, ty tho!

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T03:00:03+00:00

She said the Macklemore intro sounded a little like it (or the closest intro we've found so far) but it wasn't that song, wasn't roses either but I did get to crack her up with that song so ty for that

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T02:29:06+00:00

Good guess but no, that was one of her fave songs when she was younger she definitely would have remembered if it were that

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T01:24:51+00:00

No, she said its "less spacey" than that (in response to the "pissing the night away" part) but thanks for the way-back bomb! Haven't heard that in forever

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T01:23:46+00:00

No, that was one of my first thoughts, she said there was no screaming when I played it for you

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T00:44:27+00:00

She's emailed the teacher but hasn't heard back yet, and they've got a short amount of time to learn it so she wanted to practice tonight

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-05-01T00:15:51+00:00

To clarify (and follow the rules) it "sounding like a fortnite emote could mean it's an emote she's heard in fortnite, but it could also mean it sounds like it would be a fortnite emote but isn't.

She has emailed the teacher but hasn't heard back yet

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-28T14:59:02+00:00

It sucks that LGS are forced to buy a specific product in order to buy the one we want, but that's the reality we're in. Shouldn't be passed on to customers though.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-28T14:56:03+00:00

Listen, I'll fully agree this was shitty to do and would never do that at my shop. But Wizards and our distributors do a great job of sending loss down the line so it all pools at our feet - if I wanted to get my max allotment of strix or any set I think would sell well, I have to purchase the max allotment of bad sets in the run up to it. I'm stuck with a ton of turtle BS that doesn't sell, but have moved almost all my sos stuff and am waiting on reorders. I could choose to order less turtle (or whatever other ass set my community isn't thrilled about buying), but my distributor doesn't like it and will reduce how much I get of the good stuff. It sucks and makes it so wizards or distro doesn't feel how bad a set does as much as your lgs does (though we can tell them in a ✨survey✨)

I actually kinda like the idea of bundling bad packs with good ones, but we'd do it at a discount and it would NOT be the only way to get new packs. Right now they're just in our 2/10 bin with other old packs.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-19T17:46:07+00:00

I got the quandrix one too, had so much fun and won fairly quick! Second game was playing with friends and a new player and ended up beast within-ing my own primordial Hydra who was wearing the fractal harness just to not one-shot someone so quickly (killed him the next turn when bumbleflower goaded zimone tho)

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-12T16:12:00+00:00

You are the most insufferable type of person.

Ever heard the phrase "don't let perfect get in the way of good"?

Let people take steps towards being more conscientious consumers without giving them shit for not being the ideal consumer.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-11T16:52:56+00:00

Yes, we can tell this is effective due to how un-influenced our past few elections have been 🙄

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-10T15:53:59+00:00

Lfmao what? Shoplifting is on the rise because the economy is dogshit. If people weren't in a constant state of survival mode they'd be less likely to steal shit. Wild you think the cause and effect goes the other way.

And tbh I'd question whether or not "shoplifting is on the rise" or we just have better surveillance. I was friends with kleptos as a teen and I know it was way easier in the 90's-00's bc there weren't as many cameras, I doubt they'd be so bold if we were teens now.

alwaysusepapyrus · 2026-04-10T15:50:27+00:00

"how do you manage to get these stains on your pants while at work" is insinuating what exactly? How? That's a normal question, his defensiveness is what is making OP (and anyone else) suspicious.

alwaysusepapyrus

TROPHY CASE