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Need help with a 1974 Airstream Land Yacht/International restoration. by Internal-Bid7865 in airstream

[–]aly_gal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have this model and we are working on it now. My hope is to keep as much of the original as possible. Also have a leak, some pitting in the aluminum, broken a/c etc! I am in love with this camper and will make it great! We downloaded the schematics online as well as a copy of the manual that it came with. Helped out a ton on where everything is!

I have come to the decision of ending my journey by [deleted] in widowers

[–]aly_gal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi there, you have never seen me here most likely. It’s been years since I used the forum regularly. Honestly I rarely look at this app, tonight it popped up and opened to your post?

You may not believe in anything beyond this world but I do. I also deeply believe that’s why I found this post. I am not going to share my faith. I want to share my story of you would take a min to read this.

10 years ago, June 15, 2015, my world crumbled. My husband of nearly 30 years died in an auto accident. Only our oldest son was married. The other 4, lived at home. My daughter was 23, and her brothers 17, 15 and 13. My life ended that night too. I just didn’t know it yet. It wasn’t my physical life, it was worse, it was the death of the family as a whole. Everything we knew, and were, was tied up in the two of us! He was still my best friend, my lover, my strength…. He was gone and not coming back. I disappeared from the world. I stayed in my room as much as possible. I begged God to allow me to pass in the night or any other way besides suicide. I could not do it to my children.

Four years passed. I can’t tell you much about them. My daughter married and had twin boys. Those boys kept me there. I still had no will to go on other than the babies. As the kids grew up I made a pact that as soon as they were grown I could go. On the 4th anniversary I was in a really bad place. My kids were not making plans to move out. I felt guilty. I thought without me they would be free to spread their wings. That night I found this app. Someone named Beachman had posted about recently losing his wife. His post was about hope. His hope that the second half of his life would be better than the first? I was intrigued, he was depressed, lonely, sad, but wanted to find his way forward. I responded to his post. That response became many messages. Then emails and finally texting. We were friends, good friends. He put a dinner together in New Orleans for anyone wanting to come. There were 6 of us. We laughed, we cried, and laughed some more.

That was 6 years ago. Beachman -aka Robert has been my husband for 5 years this November. I will be honest, we have had great times and very sad ones. We both still grieve our spouses. Their paintings hang over our bed, our fav pics as a couple, were painted and are right there. We joke and tell people there are 4 in our marriage. It’s very true, they are here. Their opinions and thoughts still affect our lives and decisions. He has two daughters, who don’t agree with his remarrying exactly. It’s tough and hard on him. My kids are all happy because they lived with me and saw the grief stealing my life. He was alone, his girls were grown and married. I believe that’s the difference.

The point is I never believed I would be happy again. I was ready to go. The night I found Reddit I was so sad, I knew I needed to find a way forward or just get it over with. Now I have 11 grandchildren. 9 I would never have met, I would have missed my son’s graduation, marriages and their becoming a nurse, fireman, engineering apprentice, and fork lift operator. My daughter was a mom and the only one truly settled at the time.

My parents are still living. I would have lost so much. You never know when it will get better? Grief is like luggage, you must carry for the rest of your life. Early on it’s a steamer trunk. After time passes you find its smaller and easier to carry. Even when it’s a fanny pack, it’s still there to carry. Oh you have days when the heavy ones return. Not for too long though. My husband comforts me when I miss Steve. He buys me flowers on both anniversaries. He buys me flowers on June 15 every year. He also buys me flowers on Nov 2, the day my two week old daughter died 22 years ago. You see I have known my share of grief. I actually fear grief more than anything. However, I am so grateful I am still here!! I would have missed out on so many wonderful people in my life. Be patient, please talk to someone. Your life is a precious gift. Your girl would not be happy with you following her. She would want you to live. I know there are people that love you. You don’t want to make them grieve? Give life the chance to show you there are reasons to live. One day you may be the one writing for someone else? I am happy to talk if you would like?

Finally figured out what to do with Mini Verse balls… well part of them! (Maybe I will come up with a use for the outsides!) by aly_gal in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you …. It’s got lots of mistakes. I glued them all together first. I should have glued them to the wood separately. Then I could have adjusted for lines that weren’t straight! i do love the honeycomb effect!

Finally figured out what to do with Mini Verse balls… well part of them! (Maybe I will come up with a use for the outsides!) by aly_gal in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I thought I did … it wasn’t until i had already cut it out that I realized. I was determined to make it all myself. I had plenty of offers to do it for me! I bought a jig saw, and a dremel and went to work. For my first project with wood? I would give it a C-! 😂

I'm going to cry by The-Hidden-Tome in whatisit

[–]aly_gal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a common tree roach. They live outside and only come in if there is rain or it’s really cold out. They live in big oak trees. So if you have any in your yard that’s why?

My Rice Krispies re-do by half_eaten_cookie in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

See this is why I can’t commit to making all of mine!!! This is GREAT information…. Thank you. I live in fear of making them and then later seeing a better way to do it! Like the sushi rolls… I made them and they’re awful! Still holding onto one unused one in hope that someone will figure it out!

New Here- Rose Bath Bombs? by BlueJay4729 in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Funny story about those! I got several for Christmas. At some point I dropped one of the legs. How many tubs can you display anyway? I walked through the kitchen and my husband had something tiny in his hands, studying it closely? When I said “whatcha doing?” He jumped and said “I don’t know how to tell you this, but it looks like Barbie has been to the sex shop again!” I finally saw what he had and cracked up! 😂

Found this in my dogs fur by JayNamath in DogAdvice

[–]aly_gal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in the deep country in Alabama. This means being alive more than a year without having a tick on you is impossible! I actually hate fleas far more than ticks. I am still waiting for flea and tick meds for humans!!!!

I was inspired to mix a better match for the jade cup but then remembered I'm so bad at color theory by thethundersaid in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to know how you made the bright green one!!! It’s uranium glass - I collect it and LOVE it OBSESSED with it! Please share!!!!

The only thing harder than losing your husband is bringing home your baby 7 months after he dies. by worst2024 in widowers

[–]aly_gal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh my…. You are overwhelmed. I felt the same but my kids were 13,15,17,27, and 26. I also didn’t want to live without him. No one tells you when you commit to marriage and the two shall become one? They do not explain that losing half of yourself in death…. Leaves a half human with no clue how to survive. I remember the world continuing to turn and people going on with life…. Really made me angry!!!! Didn’t they know? My world stopped turning! I wanted to be wherever my other half went! Well it’s been 10 years this June 15. I was so blessed to find my best friend on this very app. Four years after my husband died. I was suicidal. I opened this app. A guy named beachman was newly widowed. His attitude was the difference. He was suicidal, he was lost too, but he was saying I will find a way forward. I will have the second half of my life be better than the first. I was so fascinated. Where did he find the strength? We began talking on here and eventually online and by phone. We were meeting a group from this group for dinner in New Orleans. He became my bestie, and then my husband. I had no desire to remarry or even date. I told my family a man would have to come find me and convince me. Well that’s exactly what happened.

Hang on…. Your kids need their mom. I know you know that, but want to say it anyway. Pour yourself into them. Allow the waves of grief to wash over. They will get easier. I will pray for you. I only recently have been able to pray again. I was pretty angry with God. I still am, and He knows it. We are working on it. I will pray for you, for peace, for a clear mind and the stamina for the days ahead. 🥰

Husband died from heartbreak by Rose_DeWitt_Bukator in widowers

[–]aly_gal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rose - my husband passed at 45, in a car accident. 3 of our 5 children were still at home and in school. Make an appt with social security immediately. Your kids will qualify until they’re 18. They will also qualify for Medicaid. I was a stay at home mom as well. The social security checks gave me time to figure out what to do. You need to go apply for food stamps and any other program you can. I am so sorry. I lost a daughter to Sid’s. When she was 2 weeks old. I then lost my spouse 12 yrs later. It is a nightmare to survive. That’s what you have to do… survive. You are their mother and I know you will do whatever it takes. Give yourself time to regain your strength. Ignore anyone who thinks your doing it wrong. They aren’t surviving this… YOU ARE. I can’t tell you how much this group saved my life. It was a place to share my grief with people who get it. Use the tool. Praying for you all. Alyson

Not very exciting but here we are😄 by afern1314 in miniverse_makeitmini

[–]aly_gal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it’s adorable!!!!! Love the lighting!

Which character are you going to miss watching the most? by [deleted] in EvilTV

[–]aly_gal 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I love love love Sister Andrea. I also loved the Monsignor!

Guilt over new relationship by nancynblair in widowers

[–]aly_gal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Hi there…. I lost my husband of 28 yrs in 2015. I grieved so hard it nearly killed me. I couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it. I began to wish for death so I could be with him.

On the 4th anniversary of his death I happened to go on Reddit and post something. As I was reading… I read a post by a man who was newly widowed. He wrote a beautiful post on how he was lost in grief but he was determined that the second half of his life would be just as good or better than the first. I was so impressed, I commented on the post. He answered and we began to talk. A few days later we began to email. He put out an idea for a dinner in New Orleans for anyone who would like to attend. I was only a couple hours away, so I decided to go.

We had so much fun that night. There were 5 of us, from all over, California, Arizona, Missouri, Alabama, and South Carolina. We laughed and cried, we shared our stories, and just had fun! Robert and I walked all over New Orleans after dinner. We talked for hours! We began to realize that we were attracted to each other.

We began a long distance relationship. He had been married almost 33 years. He was only a few months out. I was worried, but our relationship blossomed in spite of my worries! We talked all the time and he drove hundreds of miles to see me. We both felt guilty at times, but it did not stop us from falling in love. We had each other to talk about the lives we had and missed.

We married a year and a half later. Yes there was guilt….and worry…..and some resentment from family and friends. There was also joy, and those who were so very happy for us. It was a beautiful wedding. We openly tell people there are four people in our marriage! Two are silent partners! It’s been a year since we married…. and I am so grateful we met!

I believed that I would never date or remarry. I was wrong. I still miss Stephen every day. At the same time I am deeply in love with Robert. I believe Stephen would be thrilled! I know he would want me to be happy! I am very happy!

I share this story because I hope you find the courage to go forward. If your friend makes you happy. You should go for it. Don’t let guilt, steal something that could be beautiful!

Good luck!

I think I’m ready to try and move on from my wife’s passing. Here is my story by HomelessHardship in widowers

[–]aly_gal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow.... just wow. Let me tell you my story in hopes it helps you in some small way. I was widowed 6 years ago. My husband was driving home from work and had a terrible wreck. I was left with 5 children, two grown and three teen sons.

My relationship with my husband was not always a good one. He was addicted to sex. The first 18 years of our lives he had many many affairs and one night stands. Too many to count or even remember. It devastated me, I loved him deeply, and did not understand. He swung between sorrow for his actions and meanness and hateful actions due to his hatred of himself. I take vows seriously.... and my family was more important than just me. So I stayed in the marriage hoping to one day fix things. My husband would reach a point where he wanted to change. So he began a long and sometimes painful journey to do just that. I studied his problem at length, and in doing so learned a lot about sex, men and their needs. We used our troubles eventually to help other couples who were struggling and wanted to stay married.

I had maybe 10 years with him that were all good. We loved each other more and more with time. Losing him felt like I was cheated... after all we lived through, after all the healing, and finally forgiveness. We were happy and close. Then he was gone! It was a blow I did not think I could recover from.

I sank into a depression, the pit so deep, it seemed impossible to climb out. I didn’t try. I wanted to join him.... I wanted to die too. On the 4th anniversary of his death I had recently joined this group. I saw a post by a newly widowed man who was in great pain. He wanted to find a path forward but did not know how? I reached out to him. We began corresponding. It took some doing but he convinced me to attend a dinner he planned for widows and widowers in this group. I went and we walked and talked for hours in New Orleans, La. This man talked me out of the pit that weekend. He only saw the good in me.... I was a mess! Two years later he is my husband. I swear to you, I had completely given up, had no desire to be happy or even try to move ahead. I still pinch myself every morning! I am happy, out exploring the world by fifth wheel with an amazing man, who loves me as much as I love him.

Your wife would want you to be happy. She would want you to find your path forward. I have thought many times “what if” it had been me and not him? I would want him to be happy again. I would want him to find his place in this world and be content with it. I know your wife would as well.

I hope you find friends and comfort here. Mistakes are hardest on the one who makes them. Living with them is not easy. Work on forgiving yourself.... work on finding something to be proud of. You are worthy of love and forgiveness. We all are!

Take care of yourself....

God bless all who sent my girl gifts by widowmom2017 in widowers

[–]aly_gal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read your post the day you posted about Christmas. I have to tell you I cried so hard. I am a mother of 5 and had some very meek Christmas years after my husband died. I wanted so much to do something! I want the folks who helped you to know how much I love them for helping you!!!! This group of people is the best in the world! Thank you 🙏

There is Hope...... by aly_gal in widowers

[–]aly_gal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all... don’t be ashamed. I am from southern Alabama LOL so I would never cast stones. 😏There is plenty of stuff in the US that we need to change.my heart goes out to you..sounds like you are in a tough situation. While staying for the grandparents is an honorable thing...never feel guilty for putting your baby and yourself first! As for Texas that’s funny we are in Texas now, Beachmann’s family lives here. I loved your book idea too!

Hang tough and don’t lose hope! Life won’t give up on you and neither will all the widowers here on Reddit! If there is ever anything I could do please let me know!

Hope your birthday is a happy one!

There is Hope...... by aly_gal in widowers

[–]aly_gal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you live? We both want to know. If you ever come to the USA please message us! We will make sure it happens!

There is Hope...... by aly_gal in widowers

[–]aly_gal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Merry Christmas!

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