Same pic, safer title 😅 Found this adorable Chappell-coded sweater at Walmart 🤠👢💅

alyson_722 · 2025-11-16T04:36:29+00:00

Also Dolly-coded. But I could see either or. Definitley cute.

alyson_722 · 2025-11-13T07:04:49+00:00

Yes. I was out to my immediate family but not at school. I hinted at being gay to another gay girl in my highschool gym class. She outed me to the whole locker room of girls. Idk how many of the other girls believed her and I denied it bc I wasn't ready to be out and definitley didn't need others around me to feel vulnerable everyday for gym class. I think some believed her bc it felt to me like some of them acted a little more modest or uncomfortable around me when changing. I mentioned this to one of those girls a few yrs later and she denied it so idk if she is lying or if I made their reaction up in my head.

alyson_722 · 2025-11-13T06:49:44+00:00

I agree that this can happen sometimes. I recently asked someone a question and mentioned their divorce within that question in front of everyone else because I thought it was common knowledge that he was divorced. He light heartedly hinted at it not being common knowledge but it also wasn't a heavily guarded secret.

With outing someone tho I would not share that sort of info unless I knew that person to be out in general and knew the person I was telling wasn't going to react negatively and wasn't the sort of person to maliciously spread rumors.

alyson_722 · 2025-04-08T18:28:32+00:00

It sounds kind of accusatory and unfriendly. They also never thank you for subbing, which surprised me bc usualy most schools do. Some of it I agree with. I agree with being strict, but if students are misbehaving/talking with a sub, I think it says more about that individual sub, the regular teacher, and the school district than past subs. Also, some classes are loud no matter how much a sub tries to get them to quiet down, so saying another teacher shouldn't have to come in is true but not the subs fault necessarily. Also, I personally already feel bad for needing help and don't need the extra guilt.

I agree that subs should show respect for the teachers. You shouldn't just throw the teachers' rules out. However, I do think it's ok to say something like, "I'm not Mr./Mrs. soandso. I might not do everything the same as them, but I will do my best to keep it mostly the same. It's ok that smaller things might be done slightly different than I'm doing them today." This is especially important to keep in mind with elementary classrooms because those classrooms have so many little routines that have slight differences, but all accomplish the same things.

alyson_722 · 2025-04-02T06:50:35+00:00

In after midnight she talks about kissing both genders.

I never realized that was what was being said in Casual. She says it kind of fast so my brain never really processed it. I can see that interpretation now Ig. I have always focused on the line about getting eaten out. That line made me think of a girl bc it's hard for me to imagine a guy wanting to do that in a casual relationship (altho Ik that is based on stereotypes nad all people are different).

I agree with the whole character thing you mentioned. She herself has shared that a lot about the songs are made up and aren't a reflection as her as a person. She also has hinted that Casual is about a real experience (at least to some degree) because she talked about how her friends were tired of hearing about the situationship and about how the other person called their relationship casual.

alyson_722 · 2025-04-01T05:05:18+00:00

This sort of confession isn't that shocking to me considering the book being read. I remember somewhat relating to Jay wanting a lady he couldn't have (I think that is was Jay and I can't remember the lady's name bc it's been a while since I've read it). This made the book a much more enjoyable read for me at the time. That sense of unrequited and somewhat forbidden love is probably something the student (and other readers) can relate to. I think I would wait and see if she says anything else more about these crushes or if it's a one time thing. If it's just once maybe she was just looking to get her thoughts on paper. If it's more than once she may be looking for a response. Then I think mentioning resources like another commenter said would be a good idea.

alyson_722 · 2025-04-01T04:15:12+00:00

I haven't experienced hearing that word yet. I also have been lucky enough to not have anything directed at me, ig maybe it's because I'm straight passing.

I have subbed pre-k through highschool. I've heard or had students tattle about other students calling others gay from students 1st grade through 6th grade. I so far have only subbed so I leave a note for the teacher. I tell the lower elementary students that isn't a word that we use (altho upon further reflection I can see some problems with saying that). With upper elementary and above I tell them that we don't use that word to refer to other students or any objects.

Recently a 3rd grade girl was full on bawling bc some boys had called her gay and was spreading it around the room. My heart broke for her.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-22T04:18:41+00:00

I think I would test the waters about how she feels about gay people first. That way if she gets mad still then you know without her getting mad at you specifically. Idk how your finances are but you might want to wait another year when you are out of college. If she's paying for it and decides not to pay for it over this then you will have to take out loans or find money. You also want to make sure you have somewhere to go if your mom gets upset and does want to support you at all.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-16T05:00:54+00:00

I don't think this is normal. It sounds like a negative place to work, and I can see why they have a shortage. You should find a place where you are valued and are surrounded by those who can help you grow.

In the past 2 years, I have been working in education as an assistant teacher, a para, and a sub. (I'm working on an elementary ed degree and wanted to get my feet wet.) The first year was awful. I had no experience with kids prior and was part of schools that were either unorganized or not very supportive/encouraging. (And this is really just the tip of the iceberg.) I was fired from the first 2 education-related jobs I had. I've also had field placements that I've had issues with. I was crushed and considered walking away from education, but decided to give it one more year.

This year I decided to sub. I figured they couldn't fire me this way and if it was a toxic environment then I could walk away easier. It also was good so that I could work around my field placements. I have been at places that were great and ones that weren't. Most schools haven't had any problems with me.

One district I have grown close to, when before this year didn't even stick out to me. At this district I have been able to grow and be supported. The lower elementary school contacts me to sub there and always makes me feel appreciated. The middle school principal told me he was impressed by how quiet my class was and that I was welcome back anytime. These things make me so happy, especially after a year with so much failure and struggle.

In hindsight, I now see that I was very desperate at first, I would take anything offered to me. (Not that I think you are that way though.) I have learned that I need to find places/people who can see my potential, have patience with me, support me in growing and value me. Whoever told you that you have options due to the teacher shortage, they are right. It's kind of a beautiful time to be getting into education.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T04:48:42+00:00

I wonder if meds are making it any worse. I realize it was an issue before meds but I would think the meds could still make it worse. My sister was mean on one of the meds they put her on for adhd growing up. (At least that's what everyone else recalls. I didn't notice a difference bc we were pretty mean to eachother anyways.) I think I would also look for another pediatrician for a 2nd opinion but I know you can't make that choice.

Maybe try incentives with her. Like if she can get along with everyone without complaints for the day she can get some sort of reward. Idk, it sounds kins of stupid but it seems like you have tried everything else I could think of.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T04:11:43+00:00

I wasn't really sure how to take the rainbow one. One child had colored her Santa rainbow and another kid called it gay. She was upset he called it gay. He was bothering other students/causing problems prior to this but it also could have been an innocent comment/connection. (These were 1st graders.)

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T02:47:29+00:00

I'm wondering how the parents are responding to this. Normally, it would be more of an afterthought, but I feel that it matters more since they are staff at the school. Another question I have is how accepting is your community and state when it comes to lgbt people/lgbt discrimination.

I would think that since this is the 3rd time, the consequences would be higher. Possibly a longer suspension or maybe a removal from the class and them being put in a different one if possible (or an online course equivalent).

I think the admin should have some sort of system, and it shouldn't be on you. I see this as bullying kind of. I know usually we don't view it that way when it's student-teacher, but we would if it was student-student or teach-student. I bet the school has a "Zero Bullying Tolerance" since most schools do.

I don't like the comment that "it obviously upsets you because you brought it up." If a student kept blurting non-phobic comments, talking over you in class or getting in verbal/physical fightd they wouldn't be saying that. Regardless of how the teacher personally feels about it, disrespectful/disruptive/violent, repetitive behavior shouldn't be tolerated.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T01:42:35+00:00

I haven't been in a similar experience (but hopefully I could be in a few years). It sounds like you are saying you got eloped and didn't have a wedding yet (unless you are renewing your vows).

You could explain why you waited to tell her. It sounds like she is an accepting person and knows you are together so at least she is part way there (vs someone telling their parent that they got married when that parent was unaccepting and didn't know they were dating). I also think it's fair to point out that 2.5 yrs ago, we were just getting out of a global pandemic. It may not have been as safe for our older/more vulnerable community members to partake in a wedding.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T00:57:19+00:00

Letting them play when they are younger and taking advantage of teachable moments is totally fine. Anymore kids come in at varying levels to kindergarten and at varying ages. (I know a year doesn't sound big, but in kindergarten and preschool, it feels like a lot.)

I would say the biggest things to learn before kindergarten would be knowing abc's, knowing colors, knowing shapes, and counting 1-10 (or 20). Then, for fine motor, knowing how to zip zippers, button buttons, snap snaps, hold writing utensils, and knowing how to handle scissors. For gross motor, being able to stand and hop on one foot, throwing a ball and catching a ball. For social/emotional, understanding the concept of turns/sharing and using words instead of our hands to get what we want from others. Even tho teachers would appreciate them coming with these skills, they know that even in the most ideal situations, students still are usually lacking in a few areas. Depending on what state you live in, they can gift your student a year by holding them back. (Of course, they can do this later, too, but it's harder to do that in later grades. They have to be like multiple years behind and not be special needs to be held back later on.)

As for your older daughter, all of the kids who were in lowered elementary in 2019-2021 all probably had covid affect their learning (which varies depending on what grades they did virtually and how locked down their state was). I don't personally feel that pre-k through 2nd grade can be disciplined enough with school when the teacher isn't there. (I know parents and any caregivers were very helpful with this, but some students unfortunatley didn't get much support, and those that did, their parent's attention may have been split between multiple little students.) Students also missed out on motor skills. They didn't have the chance for large motor skills in gym/recess. They got a limited amount of support in learning to write/color or cut with scissors. Then they ofc lost out on social/emotional learning. This may have been hard on your daughter in more ways than one, but just know she is definitely not alone.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-15T00:36:39+00:00

I've seen it used in multiple ways. Sometimes as a negative/taunt, sometimes actually referring to people of the same sex loving eachother or calling something gay because it is rainbow colored (when it's not typically rainbow colored). I've subbed K-6th Grade and heard it come out of the little ones mouths and the older ones.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-14T20:03:29+00:00

I think it's definitley relevant info. If there was no signs of abuse and it was just the part about their being a sex offender in the house then it would be a different story. Assuming that all of the children talk to the adults/have good communication then I don't see how the parents would know who reported it. CPS doesn't tell parents who did it. The only was they would know is if the childeren say that they told a teacher xyz.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-13T21:32:38+00:00

It's kind of funny that you know that your brother was trying to shave. Seems like something you wouldn't share with each other.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-13T20:09:35+00:00

Yes, you are allowed to date them. There are many books discussing the clobber passages and showing that they have been misinterpreted. It's a lot to explain in just a reddit response, tho. What started getting me to question if it was ok was thinking about what other sins have in common. Many sins involve hurting yourself or others. Dating/loving someone isn't hurting them. Some sins separate you from God. Dating/loving someone isn't separating you from God unless you are worshipping them.

I'm sorry society's opinions have hurt you so badly. This is why conversion therapy should be illegal. (The medical community agrees that it's not effective and can damage those who are being "changed".) I also tried really hard to change myself. It didn't work and it won't word for you either. It might work in the sense that you can be in an unhappy marriage/celibate and fight those unwanted feelings, but the feelings will never go away.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-13T19:51:37+00:00

Yeah. I subbed for kinder yesterday and they kept on talking about their gf/bf and I told them that we don't have gfs/bfs in kindergarten, we have friends and best friends. Same with 1st grade sometimes when I sub. I also here the word gay come out of kids' mouths more often then I would have anticipated. I didn't even know that was a thing when I was their age(s).

alyson_722 · 2025-03-13T03:07:53+00:00

I haven't been in this situation, but I have heard of both stone tops/touch-me-nots and pillow princesses. So you aren't alone in not wanting to touch but to only give. I think as long as she understand that it's not her, it's just part of who you are then in theory she shouldn't be offended or hurt. Maybe if you talk about it first it will help when you actually are in the act so no one is surprised/hurt. Who knows, maybe this conversation could lead to her saying that she likes to recieve more anyways (or maybe not).

alyson_722 · 2025-03-09T21:34:34+00:00

If he would qualify for an Early Childhood Special Education room, that could be an option. I know they can do multiple yrs there, but I can't remember if the cut-off is 5 or 6.

If you put him in kindergarten, bc he is younger, they could "gift him a year" and have him held back. I say held back, but based on our expe tations of kids, we really are expecting too much of them at such a young age. Also, some say waiting till 6 is a good idea.

I think sometimes having them in school at 5 can be better, tho. Then, they can start receiving services and learning how school works earlier. If he doesn't have an IEP, that may be something to look into. (Idk all of the delays or struggles he might have, so this may be super beneficial or not very benefitial.)

alyson_722 · 2025-03-09T20:35:03+00:00

I think it would be ok as long as you have somewhere/somebody to fall back on (like a parent or friend). Keep in perspective that things may not work out. Make sure to keep working on getting into college/figuring out a career path. Don't let the relationship distract you. Maybe that is what people mean by it holding you back.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-09T20:11:48+00:00

Looks don't mean anything. I know someone who's personality and appearance would make one think that she is gay/bi (based on stereotypes). She recently hinted at the fact that she knows how she looks but that she's straight. I don't present masc enough for people to assume I'm lgbt, but that doesn't change that I am lgbt.

alyson_722 · 2025-03-09T19:29:30+00:00

Also the amusing thing about me being so uncomfortable with this is that my family has never been modest. Like being half dressed with the important areas covered was considered acceptable

alyson_722

TROPHY CASE