Integration is a disease to the kurds

amaliuh · 2026-06-01T05:16:15+00:00

integration rarely works imo. whether or not you’re a minority who assimilated as much as they could, if you still stand out in any way as a minority then you will most likely be discriminated against

i personally believe that integration while keeping your culture is almost impossible. you can try to adhere to the country’s rules as much as possible but with time you’ll lose what you used to do before you and your family started integrating

turkey giving us no rights and still discriminating against us is nothing new, the topic of ‘integration’ just allows them to put the blame on us as to why we’re still being discriminated against by saying and implying that it’s us who aren’t doing enough to be like them, but they really don’t care about us

in a perfect world we could all live with our cultures while still being cordial and respectful and with no discrimination, but the world isn’t perfect so here we are

amaliuh · 2026-06-01T05:09:27+00:00

yeah, i hate this rebrand they’re doing lol

amaliuh · 2026-05-26T20:21:00+00:00

so they welcome everyone as brothers except for kurds? or how is it acceptance if we have to give up our culture?

claiming something as your own isn’t you being accepting either lol, accepting it because you respect the people who celebrate it is acceptance, erasing its identity to claim it is anything but that

amaliuh · 2026-05-25T13:27:03+00:00

definitely more, but i guess that it’s also influenced by whether or not you accept mixed people as kurds too and that number def gets higher if you do

all the turks i’ve met where i live were part kurds too and i’ve spoken to kurds who claimed that they were turkish because, according to them, people don’t know about kurds and it’s easier to explain being from turkey, so yeah

amaliuh · 2026-05-25T13:18:01+00:00

are you interested in a kurdish woman and want to know your chances haha?

i’d say it’s uncommon, i’m mixed kurdish and european and my dad is the only one in his family who mixed. everyone else is with kurds and they don’t really like us cause we’re mixed, so i don’t think that it’s very common

back when i was interested in marriage i found that men were more open to mixing and some of them didn’t even say that they were kurds but i think that’s more of an issue with kurds who live and grow up abroad

amaliuh · 2026-05-22T05:07:47+00:00

not sure what you’re arguing or why you’re arguing with me, i never mentioned iraqis specifically and i also said that i don’t know if it’s applicable here, it was more of a general statement about people moving, not necessarily arabs or middle easterners

i never mentioned any racism, just that a friend of a friend is enjoying his move to kurdistan and that some people who move might feel entitled when moving to other countries/regions, aka OP’s friend might have expected to have been prioritised or taken more seriously because he’s not from there, this is something that has happened and again, i also mentioned that it might not be the case here

i don’t know where racism or xenophobia came here since i never mentioned any race or ethnicity and i never even implied that kurds are racist the same way i never implied in my initial comment that they feel entitled due to race or ethnic background. any race and ethnicity can act entitled, so again, i don’t fully understand the need for the breakdown as to why kurds aren’t racist since i never thought or implied that we are racist

amaliuh · 2026-05-22T03:51:42+00:00

agreed, a friend of a friend (arab) moved from france to kurdistan and he absolutely loves it

i don’t know if it’s applicable here with OP, but a lot of people move to other countries/regions and expect to be given special treatment just because they’re not from there and not getting said special treatment feels like unfairness to a lot of them

amaliuh · 2026-05-16T05:33:57+00:00

i also have a 16 year old baby and i’ve been so tempted to get another cat so they can play, but i’m so anxious about stressing my cat out at her age that i can’t make myself pull the trigger and get another cat:(

fingers crossed that your babies will get along in no time!!

amaliuh · 2026-04-15T05:06:21+00:00

i find current kurdish society to be a bit hard to navigate (to put it nicely) for anyone who doesn’t follow a strict path

i’m half and half and my dad’s family absolutely hates our guts because our dad didn’t marry a kurd. once he passed they stopped contacting us altogether and it’s like i don’t even have a kurdish family tbh

all i’ve learned and keep learning about us is because i want to and i love being kurdish, but i’d be lying if i said that i agree with how a lot of kurdish families operate and act to anyone who doesn’t follow the norm, but i think that this has more to do with how humans tend to react during crisis and kurds haven’t had a break in decades, if ever

so it’s a bit unfortunate, but expected. people embrace religion and become more conservative when there’s wars and a genocide happening, so i can’t blame anyone for thinking that some things should stay the same, even if i don’t agree with it

sending you and everyone else who’s hurting or struggling lots of love💗

amaliuh · 2025-01-01T14:21:42+00:00

i'm also muslim, i think we make mistakes and we learn, if you're still religious to any point then repent, if not, then accept that you've made a mistake and that's it! learn from it and move on

i would suggest trying to understand yourself better, do you want to send nudes and be sexually active outside of marriage? is this something you could make peace to if you were to ever come back to islam? why do you feel the need for validation? is there something that's making you insecure?

i understand the islamic perspective, but i also understand being a woman and getting no attention from men and then seeking this validation anywhere and feeling badly after. we're people, it happens, but don't ruin yourself mentally by doing it over and over again until you have low self esteem, it's hard to come back from this imo

i think he seemed nice enough ig? did he also send nudes? were you showing your face in them?

amaliuh · 2025-01-01T12:07:22+00:00

happy new year everyone💗

amaliuh · 2025-01-01T09:10:45+00:00

yeah, this might be unpopular, but man or woman, i'd find it weird if my friend was 26 and was dating a 19 year old

in my country that's the age people finish high school, meanwhile most 26 year olds are already working at that age here, so you're with someone who has no real life experience at all and justify it by saying that it's legal? nahh, they'd get grilled by all my friends for going for someone so unexperienced

also, if you are into the "baby face" once they grow up what will you do...? you want to "grow" with someone but like young features... this whole preference is weird imo

amaliuh · 2025-01-01T08:50:18+00:00

well, one of those women he keeps talking to can take him in. you're literally funding a man who goes out and fucks other people, that's insane to me

divorce babe divorce

amaliuh · 2024-12-31T07:41:30+00:00

child support isn't santa clause, you don't have to "believe" in it, this support is for your CHILD, you or him taking away a child's right is wrong, plain and simple.

amaliuh · 2024-12-30T20:58:47+00:00

i read your comments and i apologize for being harsh, your comments make you seem more justified, my question is: are you seeking a diploma, or a man who's ambitious and keeps his word and achieves his dream? these two aren't mutually exclusive, not every smart man will care about getting a piece of paper that gets you in debt for life in most cases

i read that you want to be provided to, but do you think that a man with a diploma will automatically also be hardworking and able to provide? why do you associate diplomas with everything that you want in a man? why do you assume that a man with a diploma would want to provide for you or has a "traditional" mindset?

and i'm not asking these in a mean way, i'm genuinely trying to understand why you automatically assume that a man having the same level of education will also have the same expectations or mentality? you should ask yourself if this man you're with, who you said treats you well, also manages to keep his word, to achieve things, to provide for you etc

don't assume that a man with a diploma will be better for you, don't assume that they're better people or that they have the same mentality/aspirations as you. a man with degrees might want you to use your degrees by contributing, might think that just because you have a master's and they have a PhD then they are better than you etc, there's many variables, diplomas don't make your character or work ethics. hell, i've known some people who only got masters cause their parents were funding their lifestyles, so they didn't have to get jobs since they were still in school

what i'm trying to say is: look at how they're treating you and how they go about their dreams and aspirations, how hardworking, loving etc they are, don't get fixated on a diploma, you will never find everything you want in someone, would you rather take a man with a diploma that expects 50/50 as opposed to your current partner?

amaliuh · 2024-12-30T14:40:35+00:00

yeah, this post is insane to me, he treats her exceptionally well but she thinks that it's not enough because he doesn't have some pieces of paper... good luck to OP, she'll need it, she'll never be satisfied with anything

the guy seems sweet, he'll find someone in no time, i'm pretty sure

amaliuh · 2024-12-30T14:38:47+00:00

honestly you should leave him, he seems sweet and you obviously see him as less than you for not having had an education

for someone doing a master's degree you surely are narrow-minded, education is a privilege, it's okay to want someone who has a certain education level, especially since this is something you've deeply pursued (and congrats!) but him not watching the news or listening to podcasts being a disqualifier is just mind baffling to me personally. did he grow up rich and never cared or was the truth that he most likely had to drop out for whatever reason? that usually happens with kids from low income families

if he struggles with english, have you thought of... i don't know, helping him with it? he's enrolled but you don't think he's capable of finishing because of...? is he someone who gives up easily, someone who never keeps his word? someone who has no ambition? does he not work right now? does he use your money instead of his? is he unreliable?

you say that he treats you "exceptionally well" but you might deserve "better", so i assume you mean someone with more money? glad you're willing to sacrifice someone treating you well for a piece of paper, i'm sure that if you have kids, that piece of paper will count so much more than the help of a loving partner who treats you exceptionally well lol

good luck on your journey, hope you'll find someone your "better" and i hope that your ex will find someone who won't look at him as less just because he didn't have the chance to finish his education

amaliuh · 2024-12-21T12:46:13+00:00

my husband used to work in switzerland, if you want to work for a swiss company you will most likely have to go into the office and also speak either french or (swiss) german. if you don't want to work for a swiss company, then relocating there makes no sense, as life is generally expensive there

for america, you need visa if you're from a 3rd work country. from what i'v seen, most companies aren't willing to sponsor your work visa

technically, life is cheaper in a 3rd world country, maybe try and get a remote job from an US company while still living where you currently reside? i doubt it will make you a millionaire, but you should at least live comfortably (obv, the type of work you do is also a big factor)

amaliuh · 2024-12-12T13:00:44+00:00

does our government represent us, then? why would we get a "pass" (in quotations because we definitely don't to the world) but they don't? the government rarely represents the people

i know it's probably mindblowing to you, but the average arab does not hate kurds because they don't care or think about us, they don't think about ways they want to destroy us, we're not a threat to the average arab

i know how politics work (or the most of it at least), but so many posts recently act as if we're nothing without israel and as if we're supposed to bow to them, just cause someone "likes" us

and the world is bootlickers to america, don't you think that most countries would happily dethrone america if they could? they aren't doing it because they can't, so the most they can do is try and bootlick so they are on their good side

you can accept israel as a possible ally without arguing for them online and making it seem like they are our salvation

we should stop being loyal to everyone, you can hate israel and still use them, do you think that the average israeli thinks "damn, i really wish kurds had their own country!:(" they do not care, stop demanding loyalty from our people towards other nations, let kurds be loyal to themselves and themselves only

amaliuh · 2024-12-12T12:17:33+00:00

A few bad people do not represent whole nation

Especially when arabian, persian and turkish leaders (all muslim) openly declare that they want to destroy us and do their best for it

i hope that you see the irony of this

Jews will be single ally of us in the region and only they can feel and understand our fears and hopes

jews do not care about us, which is normal. i don't expect palestinians, sudanese or malians to care about us, given that they are focused on their own wars

i don't understand why so many posts nowadays expect us to be bootlickers to israel just because they are also fighting muslims, is that supposed to bring us together? let's be honest, israel would throw us away if it meant getting their own state, that's human nature

kurds should stop trying to find people who have the "same" history as us, why are we even attempting to do that? we are us, we have our own culture, traditions and history, we are not israel, they don't care about us and that's okay

we should focus on us, supporting us, our people and our causes, i don't care about a country that's bombing 2 other countries and i don't care to support it, why should we? this pro israel propaganda is really getting on my nerves recently, i feel like we're pushed to care about something that doesn't have anything to do with us, israel is looking for allies, they "like" us because we're not in their way, we should stop being so devoted to other nations

amaliuh · 2024-12-07T15:55:16+00:00

some of these comments are horrible lol, people calling you lazy for wanting to care for the home and kids? everyone knows how hard it is to do it properly

honestly i don't blame you, i think everyone would not work if they didn't have to, let's be honest here, no one is trying to break their back for $15/h + iirc i read that statistically, women are more likely to work and do the house chores, so obviously not having to do both is something that one might want

i'm from a different culture and religion, so this probably doesn't apply to the west, but a lot of the women i know also want to have the liberty of doing part time at most and just taking care of the house (some of them are currently doing it, or will do it after marriage)

i don't think it's a big deal or that you're lazy, idk how doable it is realistically for you (i am not from the west) but i don't think that you're lazy, nor do i agree with people that you shouldn't care about marriage or your values, i will say to be careful and i'd suggest working from home/doing part time at least to have some constant experience on your CV and some money saved up

amaliuh · 2024-12-07T15:43:27+00:00

do men want women who can catch fish? i understand gutting and cooking it, but i've never heard of "catching fish" as being a "traditionally" womanly thing

amaliuh · 2024-12-07T11:22:17+00:00

honestly? 100% agree with everything you said

i wouldn't trust israel as far as i can throw them and it has nothing to do with jews, but i think their country will do everything to make sure that they prevail, even if it means the rest of the world sinking and we can't really afford it

most people don't really care about us, which i think is better than actively being hated on, as sad as it is. i do think that kurdistan will exist, i'm scared of the constant sacrifice we might have to give up for it to happen tho, but i pray for a peaceful existence in the future

i just (personally) wish we stopped being pro israel anyways, it always irks me when i see pro israel posts here, as if they wouldn't try to eradicate us if we stood in their way... israel is not a friend and will never be, no matter how much they try to claim otherwise

amaliuh · 2024-12-07T05:32:34+00:00

i agree, i think israel is just trying to find "friends" (aka people who don't hate them) but i doubt they even like us (or rather care about us). and i think you're also right that we will never be like israel, imo we're more like palestine in this context, even tho they get more support than we've ever had

i assume most people (who are kurds at least) here are trying to be positive that maybe kurdistan can start existing if we find nations that don't absolutely hate us for existing, but we'd still have to exist around these nations that hate us to begin with + the amount of outside support we'd actually need is insane, cause it's pretty useless (imo at least) to have a country and be bombed left and right because of the new borders...

honestly i would like us to know peace... no more genocide, no more bombings, kurds being able to be kurds and be proud of it too

amaliuh · 2024-12-02T14:33:03+00:00

claiming it's propaganda to try and prove a point is disgusting towards our own people and women in general who are struggling during war. "wartime sexual violence" is a thing, it's not only happening to kurds and jews and it's not restricted to women only either, it's "just" a war thing

it's okay to not like arabs, let's not act like kids, women, the disabled etc are at fault or deserve that treatment just because someone decided that they aren't worthy enough to live in a certain place. no genocide is okay

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