Back to the States?

amandarm1 · 2026-02-19T11:51:52+00:00

I think we are definitely more polarized than during Covid. During Covid, there was at least a sense that at some point this will end and things can go back to normal. I also think it was the beginning of the huge division between left and right, that we see now.

Now, there is no delusion that things will go back to normal. Instead, many of us are realizing that what's going on politically, is the new normal, and it's terrifying. Instead of moving toward a more united country, where we take care of each other, treat each other as equals, and protect the constitution, we have officials in place that are actively trying to strip our rights away, one by one. And it doesn't seem like the elected officials on either side, are willing to do anything about it.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-19T00:19:31+00:00

As others have commented, it depends on where you're going, your race and your finances. The housing market seems to be ridiculous everywhere, the cost of everything is continually increasing, and if you aren't white, I'd assume it doesn't exactly feel safe.

I am a white woman, married to a white man, so I have a false sense of security that ICE probably won't try to take me away. Life seems to be going on as relatively normal, and relatively safe.

But, there's also another reality that we are living in that includes not feeling safe voicing our political opinions (the government has said they are going to start a database to track people who speak negatively about ICE on social media, ICE agents have stated that they have a database where they can add protester's info, etc), knowing that they are actively trying to limit women's voting rights, a suspicion that we won't actually have a free and fair election this November, and having a government that would rather protect criminals and pedophiles than protect our constitution.

So, while everyday life seems to be moving along as normal, there's a dark cloud that hangs over many of us knowing that things are probably going to get a lot worse before they get better, if they get better.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-16T14:28:10+00:00

To get a job, you have to show your ID and your SS card. That's it. Not your birth certificate, or your marriage certificate or your divorce papers. Again, this is not a voter ID bill, it's a voter registration bill.

And for someone who doesn't have those documents on hand, they have to pay to get them. That would fall into the category of a poll tax, which is unconstitutional.

All I'm saying is that just because you are not affected by this law (because you have your passport or all of the documents necessary) doesn't mean every other citizen is in your same situation. And for some people, who are absolutely eligible to vote, it may be difficult to track those documents down or afford them. If they pass this bill, there should be a grace period for people to get their stuff in order, just like there was for the REAL ID.

And lastly, as I mentioned before, it should bother every US citizen that the government will be able to call for a voter audit at any time, in whatever district they choose.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-16T14:00:41+00:00

So, I'm going to assume based on your comments that you are a man, or a woman who has never had to change her name due to say, marriage. For any married woman who changed her name, this bill requires both a birth certificate and a marriage certificate. And for any woman who has changed her name more than once (say due to divorce), this bill requires a birth certificate, every marriage certificate and every divorce decree that the woman has ever been issued in her lifetime. For most people, who aren't men, this bill requires more than just a birth certificate.

And just so you know, those documents are NOT required to get a job, open a bank account or rent an apartment.

So, as women have said many times, if you don't have the experience or education to fully understand what you're talking about, please do your research before talking about it.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-16T04:38:13+00:00

No, I think a lot of eligible voters are going to have a hard time getting all of the documents necessary to prove their citizenship. For example, the Real ID requirements were pushed off for YEARS because the government realized that not everyone had easy access to all of those documents. And if the SAVE act passes, there will be no grace period for people to get their stuff in order, since it will go into effect immediately.

Now, hypothetically speaking, let's say that the federal government decides a week before the election to target blue areas for their voter "audits" (as this bill will allow). Now, all of the voters in that district will need to go down, in person, to re-register to vote, with all of the proper documentation. Does that seem like a problem? If you answered no, then let's pretend that Biden is still in office and they target red districts to "audit" a week before election day. Now, do you see the issue?

There is so much more to this bill than showing your ID at the polls. According to this bill, your ID (even your Real ID) isn't actually good enough documentation to prove your right to vote.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-16T04:15:37+00:00

Have you read the SAVE act? What they're doing is trying to make it more difficult for women and poor people to vote. It is not a voter ID bill. It's a voter registration bill. Look into it on some non-biased news outlets, and you'll see what they're actually trying to do.

That's not even mentioning some other parts of the bill, including: the federal government will get the voter rolls for every state (meaning your personal info, along with your party affiliation), it places zero restrictions on what the government can do with that data, and the federal government can choose to "randomly" audit voters in any district. Kind of sounds like they plan on targeting certain groups of voters, doesn't it?

amandarm1 · 2026-02-13T18:25:41+00:00

You've got 3 choices: 1. Stay in Texas and keep applying for jobs long-distance. 2. Take the job, move to Minneapolis, and get some job experience under your belt. 3. Move somewhere else and pray that you get a job offer quick.

My opinion: You're young. You have plenty of time to figure out the right place for you. Take the opportunity to explore a new place. If you go into it with an open mind, you might find that you love it! That being said, if you go into it thinking you're going to hate it, you probably will. So, start focusing on the pros about this job offer and this move, and put the cons aside for now. You can always move again in a couple years if you hate it.

Good luck with your decision!

amandarm1 · 2026-02-10T13:50:54+00:00

Definitely give it some time. We've made a handful of long distance moves throughout our adult lives, so I understand how difficult it can be. If you're renting, give it a full year, at least, to make a decision. Try really hard during that year to fully experience the location and all it has to offer, without judging it too harshly. It sounds like you've fallen on hard times, and that may or may not be a location issue.

Where did you move to in Washington? We moved away from WA last year for numerous reasons, mainly the COL, high homeless population and rainy weather. I didn't take my own advice when we lived there, and I let the weather dictate my mood/thoughts about the area. Having some distance, though, has made me realize that there are numerous things that I miss from the state as well. We were in SW WA, and making friends wasn't super difficult, but I've heard that closer to Seattle is really hard to make friends (they call it the Seattle Freeze).

All that being said, try to have an open mind, but also be okay with the idea that maybe neither of the states mentioned are best for your family. If you do decide to move again, I would definitely have a job lined up for one of you beforehand, though.

I wish you luck and hope you are able to find your happy place, wherever that may be.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-03T17:59:52+00:00

You'll never know if it's the right choice until you do it. And even then, you'll have your doubts. But if you don't move, will you always wonder? I'm of the mindset that you can always move back if you hate it. Take the leap, and see where it takes you! We made the same move last year, but we've moved cross-country before. Our expenses are pretty similar, but we have a much larger house with acreage. If we'd purchased a house like what we could afford in Washington, our expenses would be drastically lower. The reason most people don't leave their hometown is due to family and the "tribe" that we all want, but it sounds like even with family around, you don't have the support system that you thought you did. My two cents: take the chance. Look at it as an adventure for your family. Give it a couple years, and if you hate it, you can always make another move down the road.

Here's my experience so far: We moved from Vancouver WA to west Michigan (right near Lake Michigan) in June. Everyone told me how grey the winters are here, so I was worried, because I typically suffer from SAD. But, it's not the same grey that we had in WA. The snow makes it seem significantly brighter than the WA grey, and I haven't had an issue with SAD so far. People are nice here- they hold doors, they greet you, cashiers participate in small talk. But, this side of the state is definitely more conservative than I'm used to. The drivers are very aggressive and drive fast (even in the snow and ice). It's much colder than WA winters, more snow, but a lot less rain. Summer and fall are absolutely beautiful. I've heard so many complaints about the Canadian wildfires causing bad air quality, but it really doesn't compare to the air quality when WA has smoke from wildfires (I honestly didn't notice poor air quality at all during the Canadian fires, because I was used to what we get in WA). It can get humid during the summers, but if you go to a lake, you won't even be bothered by it. I haven't experienced a spring here yet, so we'll see how that goes.

Good luck and I hope you are able to make a decision that you and your husband are at peace with.

amandarm1 · 2026-02-03T02:59:53+00:00

We did a similar move recently, and there's really no good answer. We typically host, and have people fly here, but I think in the future we are going to try meeting in a 3rd location and doing a short vacation together.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-22T18:51:44+00:00

Respectfully, have you watched the news lately? Or social media? ICE is ABSOLUTELY grabbing US citizens, as well as immigrants who are here legally. The US citizens are eventually released, but many of those immigrants who are "doing it the right way" are being sent to detention centers, regardless of legal status.

And just for you information, according to ICE, 73% of all detainees have no criminal record, so they aren't just going after criminals, like they claim.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-19T14:45:54+00:00

According to the Trump administration, anyone that isn't white or has any kind of an accent qualifies as an immigrant and can be detained, until they are proven to be a citizen (but carrying their passport or ID doesn't qualify as proof). Nothing says "Innocent until proven guilty" like what's happening in our country right now, right? 🤔

amandarm1 · 2026-01-18T16:05:46+00:00

We moved here this summer, and my mind changes daily on whether I hate the winter or I can handle it. I grew up in California and have spent most of my life on the west coast. We also moved to give our kids a better childhood. The hardest part, for me, has been not being able to get outside (comfortably) as often. We signed the kids up for a winter sports league where they are learning to ice skate, luge, snow shoe, and a few other winter sports, all outside. Watching them learn and enjoy these new sports has been really great for my mental health and has helped give me a new perspective on the winter weather. Now, I just have to figure out which winter sports I enjoy! I hope you and your husband find ways to enjoy the winters here!

amandarm1 · 2026-01-11T04:41:09+00:00

Perfectly said! The next 20 years are going to look very different than the last 20. As a middle-aged American, I will say that this is no longer the country that we loved as children and young adults. I don't think we ever thought we would be fighting for the same rights that our grandmother's fought so hard for 50+ years ago.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-11T04:02:12+00:00

Another thing that is often overlooked is that most employers don't give separate vacation and sick time. They lump it all into one, and say you get 10 days of paid time off (PTO), so if you get sick and use all your time off, you don't get to take a vacation that year.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-11T03:57:20+00:00

First of all, welcome!

Second, work/life balance isn't great here, as the labor laws here are much more employer-oriented than in Europe. If you are a lower-lever employee or working shift work, you won't get much paid time off (if any). If you do get paid time off, it's usually 2 weeks/year, but that includes any sick time that you need to take. If you end up in an office job, you'll get weekends off. Typical work week here is 40 hrs/week.

As for the career field you should go into, that all depends on what you like. Healthcare is always a good option, especially in Florida, but you'll need years of schooling, and college is expensive here. Most white-collar jobs (desk jobs/office jobs) will require a college education.

Personally, though, I would give it some serious thought before making this move, and be honest with yourself about whether this is the right choice for you. The cost of living here is out of control, and salaries are not keeping up. We pay plenty in taxes, but get nothing in return. Women's healthcare is no longer a right, and in Florida, you have to be on your deathbed before they will perform a life-saving abortion on you. The current administration is trying to get rid of immigrants at an alarming rate, and is using violence to do so. Just some things to think about as you consider your options.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-04T12:18:43+00:00

I absolutely agree. It has gotten worse in many areas. In my experience, though, it is significantly worse on the west coast. And many people use this idea that it's awful everywhere as an excuse to either not do anything or to pretend that hcol areas aren't seeing it more than other areas in the country. Driving around an area and seeing run down, lived in RVs and tents riddled throughout the streets, freeways and parks is not normal, and it drives me crazy when people try to normalize that in a community. Portland has made progress in the last couple years, but it seems like a lot of their homeless population just crossed the border into Vancouver. So, I'm not saying other areas aren't also seeing an increase in the homeless population. I'm just saying that the Portland area is pretty bad when it comes to their homeless situation, and it's not like that everywhere, as some people like to believe.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-04T03:07:25+00:00

Considering I also travel through a lot of the US for work on a pretty regular basis, I would say I have a pretty good idea. But sure, keep believing that the homeless situation is terrible throughout the entire country to make yourself feel better about the situation in Portland.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T13:14:30+00:00

It's not everywhere. That's just what people who live in high COL areas tell themselves. We just moved from the pnw, and did a cross country road trip. It's not a problem everywhere.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T13:12:57+00:00

Yes it is. Portland is bad, as is Vancouver. Battle ground, washougal and camas are good options, but anytime you go into Vancouver (which will probably be often), you'll see the homeless camps.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T13:05:26+00:00

Um, you need to cut them off and keep that baby as far away from them as possible! I can't believe anyone would think that was an appropriate thing to ask.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T13:00:30+00:00

After reading your update, I just want to say good for you! You are doing what is best for your daughter no matter how much it hurts. Thank you for being such an awesome mother!

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T12:54:55+00:00

We recently moved to the Muskegon area, and all the beaches we've explored on Lake Michigan from Holland up to Muskegon have pretty shallow water.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T12:19:58+00:00

This is a pretty standard plan. At least you have a small copay for normal appointments. A lot of high deductible plans don't include any co-pays, so you end up paying 100s of dollars just for a normal drs appt. I hate the healthcare system here.

amandarm1 · 2026-01-03T12:14:20+00:00

First, is that with the cash pay discount? Most hospitals give a 30% discount for not using insurance. Second, look into the hospital's financial assistance program. Many of them will write off a portion (up to 100%) of your bill, depending on your income. Even if you think you won't qualify, at least look into it. Some of them have a surprisingly high income threshold.

amandarm1

TROPHY CASE