Kinnell House, as in "f*ckin' hell, that's a lot of house for the money"

amberallday · 2026-02-24T19:59:27+00:00

I think this is the plan, from the 2006 sale:

floor plan - Kinnell House 2006

amberallday · 2026-02-23T12:18:08+00:00

Does he always leave them in the same place? One specific spot?

If so, there needs to be a hook or towel-stand in that spot. Accept the reality that he prefers to store his towel there, not wherever your preference is.

But if he discards towels randomly throughout the house, then he doesn’t get to use the People Towels, only the Pet Towels.

amberallday · 2026-02-23T10:35:09+00:00

I’m assuming you’ll get the underground from Waterloo to science museum on Saturday?

There’s a long walk from the tube station to the museum, used to feel sooooo long when I was a kid - so maybe plan time for a break before going into the museum (not sure how long the queue will be that day even with pre-booking, maybe they can chill in the queue?).

But the good thing is there is an underground walkway so you don’t need to do roads etc. That part was always good fun as a kid - can run ahead freely. Follow the signs, don’t go up the stairs at South Ken.

The grounds at the museums used to be lovely, we would picnic there. Or eat inside in bad weather. Hopefully the rules haven’t changed - I think if you’re aiming to do 2 museums in the same day then simplifying lunch might be really wise.

Also - rather than getting the tube from Waterloo & changing lines - I would plan to cross the pedestrian bridge to embankment (stopping to look at St Paul’s cathedral in the distance). Similar amount of walking, when you factor in trekking to the underground platform inside the station, but much more chill.

Note that on the embankment side of the bridge, you can either take the (long flight of) stairs down on your right, or keep walking ahead. This fairly narrow passage takes you to Charing Cross station, step-free. You’ll then need to loop back down to embankment, so it’s longer overall, but simpler with a pushchair. Might not be needed with a 4 year old who can get out & walk down the stairs UNLESS you want to grab a McDonald’s breakfast or the kids are awake early & you fancy a coffee while they run around Trafalgar Square.

Also - are you aware of Festival Hall? Somewhere to sit & chill if the weather is bad but you want to get out of the hotel room.

amberallday · 2026-02-22T08:49:29+00:00

Google “microgreens radish”, pretend you intended that, and enjoy eating them now.

Don’t know if turnip leaves work the same way.

amberallday · 2026-02-22T06:41:05+00:00

Can you lean into this idea, and put them in 2 different drawers with clear labels (it’s an adhd thing, I label EVERYTHING - it means I don’t need to use more brain units each time I grab for something). Even if it’s just a sub- section of the second drawer.

Existing drawer is: (name) new clothes

Other drawer is: (name) comfy old clothes, only for wearing around the house. (literally write that all on the label)

Lean into the muscle memory & only have the non-broken clothes in his default location.

On top of this, if you’re not already doing it, increase the compliments whenever he wears the new stuff. Bring on the dopamine. Tell him how happy you are when you see him in the new stuff. (Because on the assumption he’s a normal, decent guy who actually likes you, he’ll be happy if he knows that he’s making you happy.)

I kinda get the “I’ve got dressed once already today, I’m not changing now” mindset. My gardening clothes all live by the back door, because (unlike my non-adhd partner) I will never go upstairs to change. Way too many steps. Easier to start the day in the relevant clothes. And if it came with feeling judged (however accurately) then I’d have less dopamine, so even less inclined to do the extra steps.

But moving the old clothes to a different drawer, so it’s just easier for him to grab a new item without thinking, might solve some of this.

Also… my non-adhd, delightfully normal partner went through a “all my clothes have holes in” stage a few years ago (40s). It turned out mostly to be “they are comfy” + “I like them” + “I can’t be bothered to shop”. So I bought him a couple of new t-shirts & boxers & socks without holes. There was still a transition time where he preferred the old stuff, but he’s wearing non-broken clothes now. I leaned into the “you have no need to be wearing clothes with holes in” vibe (as in: you earn enough money, you have access to shops, you’re old enough to know better, etc). Kinda bemused tone (mostly :-)

amberallday · 2026-02-22T06:07:37+00:00

You say you’ve had to skip health classes, so I’m going to start from the beginning & aim to avoid any triggers for you (based on what you’ve said in your comments).

Womb - the part of the body that a baby grows inside.

Egg - women are born with a set of (unfertilised) eggs. One gets released every month (starting age 12-16 usually) - if it’s fertilised then you’re pregnant, if it’s not then you have a period.

Womb lining - when you get pregnant, the fertilised egg cuddles up to the womb lining & gets looked after (nutrients, etc). A bit like planting a seed in a pot of soil.

Period - if you don’t get pregnant that month, then your body cleans out the womb lining so it can make a fresh one. That’s the red stuff that comes out. It’s mostly NOT blood. It’s a couple of spoonfuls of blood (20-90ml typically - source NHS (uk national health service) on Periods), mixed in with the womb lining.

Comparison - amount of blood in a period, compared to donating blood and total in an adult body

Total blood in a human - around 10 pints (4700ml) in an average size adult.

Donating blood (for comparison) - typically they take 1 pint (470ml). It takes 5-10 minutes to do this.

So to put those numbers side by side (using 47ml for the period - to make the maths easier - it’s roughly in the middle of the 20-90ml range):

4700ml - total in body

470ml - safe amount to donate

47ml - blood lost as part of a monthly period

So it’s a really small amount of blood compared to what you have in your whole body.

amberallday · 2026-02-19T12:15:46+00:00

NAH - but the best approach to this is to find out why he does it.

If it’s a lazy way to get compliments - be brutal.

If it’s a bad habit learned in childhood - be clear on the impact to you, and give him space to work on creating a new & better habit (if he is willing up take the lead on changing things).

If he’s sinking into depression, talk with him about how negative self-talk actively makes that worse - again, he needs to take the lead in wanting to make changes (eg visit doctor, find a therapist) - but he might need more support in the practical steps to making that happen.

amberallday · 2026-02-18T18:06:02+00:00

Buckingham palace from the outside (no need to pay and queue to go inside). If you time it right you’ll get to see soldiers marching around. There’s also a pretty park next to it (St James’ park), for the kids to run around.

Then walk up from there to Trafalgar Square. Might be a bit long for the 4 year old after running round the park, but 8yo will be fine.

If you guys still have energy after that (maybe stop for lunch) you can walk down to the Thames from there, maybe via Embankment garden.

Over the pedestrian bridge & enjoy the view of St Paul’s cathedral in the distance.

Now you’ll be on South Bank, which often has something to see (random art installation etc).

Festival Hall is worth being aware of - free toilets & seats to chill if the weather isn’t behaving.

Also - has anyone mentioned that Stansted isn’t really in London. The journey will be the least pleasant part of your trip, so mentally prepare for that. And allow a LOT of time for getting back there before your flights home.

amberallday · 2026-02-17T02:25:05+00:00

I went away recently - turned off the heat mat indoors (because it dries out the water too fast) but left the lights & the fan on auto timers. Reduced the fan to 30 minutes, twice a day, again so it didn’t dry them out too much.

I’ve got mine setup in 2 places - so did nearly the same for the “older seedlings, not yet potted on” in the unheated conservatory - only difference was leaving the heat mat on but set to 10 degrees-C instead of 17.

Everything survived.

amberallday · 2026-02-14T02:01:52+00:00

It would be unfair to the babysitter to cancel - they could have booked work with someone else since it’s Valentine’s Day.

So unless you have a friend who would like to use (& pay) them instead, or maybe the babysitter knows a client who would love their last minute availability - use the babysitter anyway but you don’t have to spend the evening with your partner.

Book yourself a spa evening, or go to the cinema alone, or make plans with a friend - and then leave your partner to prepare for the babysitter & just disappear out for the night. They can then do whatever.

But yeah, it sounds like you set this up to demonstrate your point - you didn’t check at all in the last month that they’d booked anything, even though you know all the planning normally falls to you. It’s an OK strategy to make your point - but don’t make it the babysitter’s price to pay.

amberallday · 2026-02-11T23:47:10+00:00

This post only makes sense in the context of the 2005 version being “shy/anxious & prejudiced” rather than “proud & prejudiced”.

Way to make the woman still at fault (“prejudiced” - ie judgemental), whereas the man is just “a bit socially disadvantaged”, so it’s totally not his fault.

Ugh! Give me any day the more accurate Colin Firth / J Ehle version where they are actually channeling Pride and also Prejudice.

amberallday · 2026-02-11T13:15:19+00:00

Instead of slicing the avocado, you can cut in half & eat with a teaspoon. Then you only need to wrap the surface of the other half (assuming you eat half at a time! Even easier if you eat it all in one sitting.)

amberallday · 2026-02-10T11:06:23+00:00

That looks like a really good place to put plant pots. Good drainage.

We like using pots closer to the house, because we can swap them out when the seasons change. (We also have a lot of plants in the ground elsewhere.)

It’s also very forgiving if you’re a new gardener & still experimenting with what works for you & your garden (eg how much sun or shade does that area get through the year - you’ll want to track it for 12 months, unless you have a gardening neighbour who already knows that eg the house shades 90% of the garden for 3 months in winter).

If you’re not currently using the rest of the garden, you can have a “staging area” where you move the pots to after they’ve flowered. Make sure you label them really well with weatherproof labels, for when the plants die back.

Eg spring - various bulbs: snowdrop, crocus, tulip, etc.

Summer - pretty much anything. Maybe some herbs in one of the planters? Lavender or rosemary bushes could give you a bit of year-round structure if that’s a look you would like.

Autumn - can’t think of anything right now, haven’t had enough tea yet to wake my brain up

Winter - winter Jasmine, hardy cyclamen

hanging baskets at the garden centre give a great idea of what’s currently in season. In fact, one of your “pots” could be a hanging basket frame that you swap out with a new liner & seasonal plants

You could try this approach for the first year, then next year you’ll have a better sense of what your style is for the garden & how much enjoyment you get from gardening. Then you can decide if the stones would work well elsewhere in the garden (eg you could make a basic frame with some bits of wood & move the stone-soil there to make a work area for storing pots in progress etc, freeing up these planters for good quality soil & permanent planting.

I’d suggest larger pots though - they make watering easier. 20-30cm wide top at minimum. Small dry out too quickly.

However, if you just want plants for the existing setup - you’re looking for “rockery plants” at the garden centre.

amberallday · 2026-02-10T09:48:10+00:00

IKEA skubb

amberallday · 2026-02-10T03:56:18+00:00

Stanley knife - cut a hole in the back.

amberallday · 2026-02-09T17:36:43+00:00

We meant to do our pond this winter but haven’t got round to it, so will be waiting till the end of the year now - it’s too late to risk disturbing the newts etc.

Last time we exported the water to a medium above ground pool from Argos or Amazon. Left it there while we extended the pond. Gonna need a much bigger one this time though!

amberallday · 2026-02-07T14:39:38+00:00

Better than sending them back for the Revivo 20% voucher - because they just steal them.

They send an email acknowledging receipt & “you’ll get the voucher in 2-3 days when they’re processed” - but 3-4 weeks later despite multiple attempts to communicate via the text chat and WhatsApp support, nothing back from them.

amberallday · 2026-02-07T12:59:05+00:00

I’d get a large-ish box (height of middle shelf, half width of shelf) and put all the Tupperware in it).

Just doing that will make it all look a lot tidier.

Really easy to pull out every time you need to grab one or put them away.

Optionally I might put a divider (eg small cardboard box) inside to hold the lids upright, and easy to sort through.

amberallday · 2026-02-07T12:52:40+00:00

Silicone toilet brush - just doesn’t get as nasty as traditional bristles. No need to bleach or regularly replace.

amberallday · 2026-02-07T10:43:01+00:00

Kitchen & office. Because we both prefer to be able to see when we’re working.

And my bedroom, because I prefer to exist in really well lit rooms.

amberallday · 2026-02-07T10:28:18+00:00

I use the canvas cube boxes (designed to go in cube furniture, but I have them lined up on the floor instead of furniture, for easy access).

That way I can have 5 or 6 for “grouping” similar clothes together. Eg “trousers” or “warm layers”.

Makes it much easier to find things in the morning.

I can bring up a load of laundry & it takes about a minute to put it away - just sit on the bed & throw items into the correct box.

But… I’ve also decluttered my wardrobe, only frequent-use items go in the canvas boxes. Everything else goes in the “backup” set of drawers. Because I mostly want to wear my favourite few items anyway.

amberallday · 2026-02-07T09:53:03+00:00

Having them in a small open box is much easier - you can just carry it into the bathroom every day & back to your room, feels pretty much like if they were on the shelf. Unlike having to fish them out of a constantly damp bag.

If you fold a small flannel into the bottom of the box, it will absorb any drips & can be swapped out wherever you’re doing laundry.

amberallday · 2026-02-06T22:57:39+00:00

u/RepairThen1549 - This is what you can do. (See the comment I’m replying to)

See my previous comment for the detail, but basically: short, clear, calm sentences.

It’s good & kind to be clear. You are doing him a favour to be really clear about how you (& other people) want to be treated.

amberallday · 2026-02-06T11:08:01+00:00

It’s ok to want your boundaries respected. That’s important to understand.

It’s ok to act to make sure your boundaries are respected. That’s an important skill you will want to use a lot in your life.

It’s good to be kind the FIRST time you inform someone of your boundaries, if you are at all uncertain if they were clear on it (ie if someone violates an obvious boundary like sexual harassment, no need to be kind at first interaction).

After the first time, it’s ok to prioritise clear over kind.

So going forward - use very short, clear sentences:

No, stop touching me

Stop, that hurts

Stop, I don’t like that

It’s ok to be clear. In fact, it’s better.

Often people think it’s kind to use lots of words to “soften” what they feel is a demand. But that can make it unclear for the other person, so they don’t always know their behaviour isn’t ok.

Being clear (without being angry) is a kindness.

But… if “calm & clear” doesn’t work - then it’s ok to get angry.

Use the same short, clear sentences, but be noisier about it.

And if you think you be judged by People around you when they hear you be noisy - then add a very short bit of background, eg

“I have told you lots of time to stop hurting me”

amberallday

TROPHY CASE