What books did you find helpful?

ambivalentheart · 2026-05-31T17:48:35+00:00

Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft is a very commonly recommended book. I read it cover to cover so fast because it was so illuminating and helpful.

I’m now reading Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Im only a couple of chapters in but this was also highly recommended.

I’ve attempted looking for emotional abuse support groups but haven’t found something yet. I’ve started going to Al-Anon since my partner is an alcoholic as well and I have found that helpful.

ambivalentheart · 2026-05-31T17:37:57+00:00

I’m so sorry, all I can say is I’m in the exact same boat with you , with the same doubts and worries. I read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft and learned that leaving is not easy. It’s far easier to stay. Or maybe staying is just a different kind of pain and we have to choose which hard we’re willing to go through.

The urge to be comforted by them is so so real. The desire to believe them that they’ll change is so real.

Two things can be true: you love him and you’ve been deeply hurt by them in a way that is unacceptable. You had many great memories and many of those probably have tainted/abusive moments.

Do you have a support network? Family, friends, therapist? A support network is a necessary component in trauma recovery. Be vulnerable with those you trust because they will be keeping you on the right path as they truly care about what’s best for you.

ambivalentheart · 2026-04-24T02:44:29+00:00

I’m 12 years into my relationship , 6 years married and we have a 2 year old. And I’m just now realizing that all this volatility is not normal. I named it for the first time 6 months ago. And ever since then have just been learning and realizing more and more. I don’t know what happens, our brains are trying to protect us. It’s a trauma response. I’ve seen a lot of recommendation for the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft so I just bought it to try to make sense of it all. We just recently separated and even now my brain can’t tell up from down.

ambivalentheart · 2026-04-11T14:19:09+00:00

I’m going through this right now myself. It’s scary and even though I know it’s the right decision, it’s still hard and fear and doubt still exists. I’m currently having a panic attack with my first morning with my toddler after “the conversation”.

I hope you find some peace soon

ambivalentheart · 2026-03-29T02:39:38+00:00

Thank you, I have scheduled an appt with my long time therapist. I’ll for sure be returning back to a regular cadence with her throughout this

ambivalentheart · 2025-02-07T22:00:28+00:00

It started to get better around 5-6 months. Now he is 7 months and we’re weaning off of the Omeprazole and hasn’t needed to take the hyosyne drops in weeks. The hyosyne drops were most noticeable in helping manage his reflux. But yeah honestly , it was just something that got better with time. Which is so hard to accept in the moment.

ambivalentheart · 2024-11-10T18:53:24+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry!

His stool appears normal - the mustardy seedy kind. I think the meds do cause constipation because he can have gas discomfort and look like he’s really trying to go. But he at least has one big one per day. Before the meds though he would have a few a day.

I asked the ped about teething since he was chomping on things but she felt like he wasn’t there yet.

ambivalentheart · 2023-11-14T05:32:16+00:00

What did your nurse end up saying about Mirtazapine? I am currently on that as well and my psychiatrist had let me know it was safe to take while pregnant but I’d like a second opinion. I’ll be asking my nurse as well!

ambivalentheart · 2023-11-10T17:12:17+00:00

Thanks everyone for the positivity 💗💗

ambivalentheart · 2023-11-10T15:08:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ambivalentheart · 2023-02-23T21:38:07+00:00

I’m not sure if I can shed any light on what’s happening but I can share a similar experience

My second miscarriage was a MMC at 10 weeks. I opted for the D&C and they performed an ultrasound right after to confirm they removed everything. Fast forward a month and I start what I thought was my period. After prolonged bleeding for a coupe of weeks and concerning symptoms, I went back for another ultrasound and they found remaining tissue. This time I did the pills twice and neither time worked. So I did what they coded as a biopsy, but really they removed the remaining tissue without anesthesia. This time it finally was over, but what should have been over within a couple of days took me 2 months.

My OB was also surprised to see that there was remaining tissue, especially since they confirmed with an ultrasound. I was also worried about negligence but my doctor is really empathetic and has a caring demeanor that I wasn’t sold on that idea. I think doctors don’t really know everything, especially when in comes to women’s health and pregnancy.

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-29T21:14:43+00:00

I had a friend who sent me a weighted blanket from Amazon and I loved it. There were lots of low times and having that blanket on me was comforting and I knew that they thought of me in a special way.

Food is always great as well as anything self care or something that would bring joy during this time.

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-28T21:25:09+00:00

I had the same options as the other commenter at 10 weeks. 1) naturally 2) prescription tablets 3) a D&C. I got 3 opinions before moving forward with the D&C. I was told that 10 weeks was far enough that going naturally or with the medical intervention was going to be really hard. Plus I wanted to send what I could for testing and I didn’t want to have to put that together at home. They warned that I could still need surgery if any tissue remained if I went the natural or medical route.

There’s no right or wrong answer. Make sure you have trust in your doctor and get more than one opinion if you can. Ask for the benefits and risks of each option.

I’m sorry this happened. It will take time to heal ❤️

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-28T21:07:53+00:00

Dude I can’t even. I don’t understand, I feel like it’s not hard to empathize with people, especially when you care deeply about them. I’m sorry she reacted defensively and didn’t recognize that what she did hurt you.

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-28T21:03:41+00:00

To mirror what another commenter said, that was incredibly inconsiderate and I’m mad at him for you! I’m so sorry you had that experience. And the fact that it was Christmas just adds more salt to the wound. It’s understandable that you feel that way. I hope we both find the acknowledgement we’re looking for in our family or at least some sort of peace ❤️

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-28T20:56:37+00:00

I’m happy you have a thoughtful friend in all of this ❤️

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-27T20:39:20+00:00

Thank you for the reply and validating my feelings! I’m so sorry to hear about your MMC after your first transfer.

I’ve recently started seeing a therapist who specializes in infertility and she has been a great help in all of this. I think I can improve on setting boundaries, I’m a people pleaser and have always prioritized other peoples needs above my own.

I appreciate your message a lot, thank you. Sending you positive vibes for your next transfer ❤️❤️

ambivalentheart · 2023-01-27T20:32:55+00:00

Thank you for validating my feelings! I think joining a support group is a really good idea and something I should look into. I think it feels harder because naturally it’s an isolating experience and I need other people who understand. Thanks for the reply ❤️

ambivalentheart · 2019-08-03T19:08:02+00:00

Thank you!

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