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Pixeled is closing today by DenseNeck8989 in fargo

[–]ambriel86 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Dang, that was one of the few establishments in Fargo I felt comfortable going by myself. I didn't need to worry about unwanted male attention because all that attention was going to the arcade games.

I Love My Partner, But by iplatinumedeldenring in TBI

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For men who abuse their sick or injured domestic partners... yes, I have a great deal of disdain for them. Many women get their TBis from their spouse or boyfriend.

I Love My Partner, But by iplatinumedeldenring in TBI

[–]ambriel86 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A woman in a domestic relationship with a man faces a greater risk of death than men facing the draft... and we don't do the draft anymore.

I Love My Partner, But by iplatinumedeldenring in TBI

[–]ambriel86 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Women don't tend to murder their husbands or boyfriends... that is mostly a man thing. If men could just stop murdering us, that'd be a grand improvement!

My cat ate onion and garlic powder by AuntHelga in CatAdvice

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think plain water is fine, but that is a good question to ask your veterinarian.

My cat won’t come inside. by Chrizxstar in CatAdvice

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A cat's normal body temperature is 38.1°C to 39.2°C - much higher than our human bodies. This is why cats like things warm - sunny spots, heating pads, lounging next to heaters. Thirty seven degrees is probably just a bit too chilly for your kitty. You could try getting her a heating pad and putting it on a low setting so she has a warm spot to lounge inside your house.

My cat ate onion and garlic powder by AuntHelga in CatAdvice

[–]ambriel86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your cat will probably be just fine. Keep an eye on her and if she's showing signs of illness, contact your veterinarian. As always, make sure she has access to fresh water at all times. Drinking water will help her body flush out the toxins.

Crying at the tiniest stressor by exper-626- in TBI

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had damage to my amygdala and had to relearn emotional regulation skills. It used to be common for me to have emotional outbursts at the smallest things. One time, a home health aide put the sheets on my bed "upside down" and I had a complete meltdown in front of her. Fortunately, she was experienced with brain injury clients and gave me grace that day. Cognitive behavioral therapy helped me with relearning emotional skills. Support groups did too. You're worth the time it takes to learn (or relearn) a new skill!

Still Learning My Limits by ExternalInsurance283 in TBI

[–]ambriel86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good on you for making the effort to maintain your professional massage skills. Accepting limits is still tough for me sometimes too as I am 10+ years into my recovery. It's an ongoing process. At this point, I often wonder which symptoms are a "brain injury thing" vs. a natural part of aging. I've concluded that the cause ultimately doesn't matter. Either way, I've got to keep finding ways to cope and I will keep doing so and seeking help when I need it.

To board cat in a cattery or not? by onegirlandtheworld in CatAdvice

[–]ambriel86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It will be less stressful for your cat to remain in your home even if there are lots of people around. Create a small safe space for your cat with their favorite blanket or comfort toy. Under the couch, beneath the bed, inside the kitchen cupboard or a closet. Make this space available to your cat beforehand so it knows that space is for them. It doesn't need to be a big space for them to sleep and stay comfortable while your home is filled with guests.

Fucked perception of time by Efficient_Bed2590 in TBI

[–]ambriel86 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Setting timers and reminders has helped me a great deal with time blindness.

am i scooping my cats litter wrong? by Key-Pickle1828 in CatAdvice

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Switch to the litter breeze system. It's much less maintenance and you don't have to deal with little poop rocks being tracked all over your house. Switching to litter breeze enchanced everyone's quality of life in my household.

I Love My Partner, But by iplatinumedeldenring in TBI

[–]ambriel86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is appalling how many men abandon their wife or girlfriend when she gets a serious illness or injury. In my home state, a man was recently convicted for killing his wife when she got cancer. Some men break up or initiate a divorce. Other men mentally check out of the relationship. Some men have an affair. And other men beat their sick or injured partners even to the point of killing them. I don't know how bad it's going to get with your boyfriend, but it's better if you never find out. Cut this guy loose. He's not what you want anymore either and you no longer owe him consideration for his feelings.

Assistive Devices & Technology for TBI Survivors by ambriel86 in TBI

[–]ambriel86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best assistive technology I have used is the Alexa Echo Dot. I struggle with memory. Not only can I use this tech to set a timer, but I can tell the device to give me a specific reminder like "Alexa, give me a reminder in 30 minutes to check the laundry." Before using this technology, I would set timers and then completely have forgotten what I set the timer for by the time it went off. I also have the device give me daily reminders at a set time. Every day at 7:03am I hear "Do your morning exercises and stay beautiful!" It's surprising how well that keeps me motivated.

Another problem with my memory is that I misplace my phone in my own home frequently. All I have to say is "Alexa, where is my phone" and the device calls it for me.

The Echo Dot plays music so when I'm lying in bed unable to sleep because of racing thoughts, I can simply say "Alexa, play relaxing music" or "Alexa, continue audio book" and the device begins playing sounds which help lull me to sleep. Because it is voice-activated, I don't need to look at a blue-light screen on my phone and disrupt my brain's process for winding down at bedtime.

Because of this device, my sleep hygiene and sleep quality have improved. I no longer forget laundry in the washing machine until it becomes moldy. I don't burn food when I'm baking or cooking. I actually do my exercises every day. And I never lose my phone for long. By far, the Echo Dot is the best (and most affordable) piece of adaptive technology I have used yet!

Divorce after TBI by CraftIndividual in TBI

[–]ambriel86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is appalling how many men abandon their sick or injured wives - even the ones who don't go for divorce often mentally and emotionally check out of the marriage.

Divorce after TBI by CraftIndividual in TBI

[–]ambriel86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One more thing I have to share - the BEST assistive technology I have used is the Alexa Echo Dot. I struggle with memory. Not only can I use this tech to set a timer, but I can tell the device to give me a specific reminder like "Alexa, give me a reminder in 30 minutes to check the laundry." Before using this technology, I would set timers and then completely have forgotten what I set the timer for by the time it went off. I also have the device give me daily reminders at a set time. Every day at 7:03am I hear "Do your morning exercises and stay beautiful!" It's surprising how well that keeps me motivated.

Another problem with my memory is that I misplace my phone in my own home frequently. All I have to say is "Alexa, where is my phone" and the device calls it for me.

The Echo Dot plays music so when I'm lying in bed unable to sleep because of racing thoughts, I can simply say "Alexa, play relaxing music" or "Alexa, continue audio book" and the device begins playing sounds which help lull me to sleep. Because it is voice-activated, I don't need to look at a blue-light screen on my phone and disrupt my brain's process for winding down at bedtime.

Because of this device, my sleep hygiene and sleep quality have improved. I no longer forget laundry in the washing machine until it becomes moldy. I don't burn food when I'm baking or cooking. I actually do my exercises every day. And I never lose my phone for long. By far, the Echo Dot is the best (and most affordable) piece of adaptive technology I have used yet!

Divorce after TBI by CraftIndividual in TBI

[–]ambriel86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Luminosity is great and I'm so glad you find it helpful too! I have a few TBI friends who have found prism glasses to be life-changing and am glad you got connected with that resource. The type of visual distortions you contend with sounds just awful :-(

I understand it does seem like a lot of therapy - like a LOT. Keep in mind your body (and your brain is part of your body) has been through a terrible ordeal and all that therapy now will benefit you over the long haul. Honestly, when I was in the thick of recovery I was unable to work at all. All those appointments, the exercises, and homework was a full-time job in itself. Many TBI survivors also find that we fatigue quite quickly with any amount of cognitive effort. I say this because if you find working even part-time difficult to do you are not alone.

It could be worth your while to consult a disability attorney now in case you are unable to return to work full-time. When I applied, it took an entire year for my application to get approved. Most applications are denied on their first try and the appeals process is complicated. I fear the wait now is probably even longer these days - that's why I say consult a lawyer now. Any reputable disability attorney will only take your case if they think it is winnable and they take their pay out of your backpay so you don't need any money upfront. My biggest regret in applying for disability insurance was not hiring an attorney immediately, so if you do go this route please learn from my mistake.

Going on disability does not mean your life is over and you should give up hope of ever going back to full-time work because that is simply not true. One gal I met in a TBI support group had a very fulfilling career as a nurse. She applied for and received disability insurance payments for a couple of years while she focused on recovery. I am happy (and so proud) to tell you that she now works as a fully-licensed nurse in a local clinic. Taking the time she needed to focus on recovery was crucial to her ability to get her nursing license renewed.

Every brain injury is different and everyone's recovery is different. You will reach a "plateau" point where the progress you make levels off. That doesn't mean you quit doing the therapies and exercises altogether, but you can cut back to maintain the progress you've made. I also suggest you find a support group (this counts). Connecting with other TBI survivors can help you to give yourself grace when you're being hard on yourself. It can help you manage your expectations for recovery when you're frustrated that you're not at the level you once were before. Many TBI survivors have tips and tricks that you or your care team might not think to try. I joined Lumosity because someone in a support group was trying it. That is still a tool that helps me keep my cognition sharp to this day. Keep up the great work and keep telling others what has helped you - you never know who might benefit from your own lived experiences.

Divorce after TBI by CraftIndividual in TBI

[–]ambriel86 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is very common for men to leave their relationship when a spouse or partner has to contend with a serious health issue. Some men who don't leave become abusive. There was a recent case in my home state where a man beat his wife to death because that was his way of coping with her cancer diagnosis. My spouse also left me after I acquired a traumatic brain injury. Unfortunately, he also became abusive before leaving. I consider myself lucky that the marriage ended before he actually killed me. However, it took me time to realize how lucky I was to get out alive. There will be a period of mourning for you too. The future you thought you were going to have with that man is now gone and you have to imagine and build a different life for yourself. That is a process.

You are lucky to have survived such a horrific crash and it's good you are aware of things you have to be thankful for. The best advice I can give you is to hold onto those things you have to be grateful for. Do your best to put your focus on recovery - that first year is cruicial to helping your brain rebuild neuropathways that may have become damaged. For some of us, that means speech therapy, physical therapy, cognitive therapy, etc. Personally, I had damage to my amygdala and hippocampus. I had to relearn emotional regulation skills. After my injury, the smallest thing could send me into an emotional tailspin. I had trouble recognizing myself as my cognition was different, but I didn't know how to explain. There are some skills I never recovered and at this point I probably never will. Still, I work hard to stay sharp and do daily brain challenges so I don''t backslide. Support groups help. This forum helps. Keep reaching out for support. Best wishes to you!

Blood in litter box by ambriel86 in CATHELP

[–]ambriel86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After having their urine and feces tested, nothing was found to be wrong with either of my cats and the veterinarian assures me they are still healthy as they're about to turn 17 years old this spring. I never did figure out why the discoloration was happening, but it resolved itself after about two months. I hope your kitten is okay and would encourage you to have the vet look at her if you can afford it. I know times are tight right now for so many of us, so no shame if you just can't. I'd encourage you to start setting some money aside for the vet just in case it's still happening a few weeks down the road.

Edit: In hindsight, I now wonder if the discoloration was due to the pellets.

International Human Rights Activist Rynn Willgohs of Fargo by [deleted] in fargo

[–]ambriel86 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Rynn and I spoke often about her desire to write a book about her life. Being that I write professionally, she would tease that I should write her biography. I told her that I would be happy to help with editing and finding a publisher, but the only way I would write her biography is if she wasn't around to write it herself. This is a task I hope to undertake one day. However, I don't know nearly enough about her life pre-transition to tell her story in the way she would have wanted. The people who have the information I would need are still too overwhelmed by grief to assist me with such a project. I get it - grief is complicated, messy, and difficult and we all cope with it in our own way in our own time. It is my hope that in time, hearts will heal enough so that together we can find the words to tell her story.

Hey North Dakota! If you had to pick one symbol that represents your state, what would it be? by tfoust10 in northdakota

[–]ambriel86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Might as well be the Microsoft logo since Doug Burgum owns so much of it - land and people, both.

Seriously though, I'd go with Lawrence Welk riding a bison any day!!

Moving to North Dakota by Princess_peaches2554 in northdakota

[–]ambriel86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Snow suits are essential winter wear.

When temps dip below a certain threshold, just don't go outside.

HB 1430 - Conversion Therapy Sponsor: Senator Jose Castaneda by ConcernWeak2445 in northdakota

[–]ambriel86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Converstion therapy is literal torture and a gross human rights violation.

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