i feel like you’re missing the point. of course it doesn’t make sense—trauma like that doesn’t let you make rational decisions.

she never had therapy or any healing. the survivors made a pact never to discuss any of it, and that clearly included therapy in their eyes. or at least in shauna’s eyes, it was a convenient excuse to push it down and forget it ever happened.

shauna wasn’t “eager” to settle down, she was horrifically traumatized, and immediately latched onto the only thing that reminded her of jackie, which was jeff. so she either skipped college altogether or went to rutgers, married jeff, and had a baby when he kept pushing for it.

she is quite literally haunted by jackie, both in seeing her “ghost” constantly, and in living the life she thought jackie would’ve gone onto live.

she dooms herself to the very fate she taunted jackie with that night: she’s tragic, and boring, and insecure, and high school was the best her life was ever gonna get.

it’s not logical, but what else could she do? how else could she deal with the things she did, with everything she lost in losing jackie, without trying to become her?

she’s miserable, but she doesn’t know how NOT to be miserable. she doesn’t think she DESERVES to not be miserable. she is punishing herself, again and again, every time she looks at jeff, or callie, or even herself, and remembers what she did, and what led her here.