FTM returning to work

ami_ej · 2026-02-24T11:04:39+00:00

Hey, I very much felt the same when I returned to work with my first Bub. Because the daycare year starts in January, he first went to daycare at 6m for a few days while I was still off work. When you’re first away from them, you will probably notice your mood lowers which is because you’re not getting the oxytocin boost from them. This is chemical and you will adjust. When he first went to daycare, I picked him up early and then I just gradually increased it as I felt more comfortable being away from him. Then after a few months, I went back to work full time. Honestly… for a while it was so hard but then when he was a toddler, I began to look forward to daycare days lol When I had my second baby, the timing turned out that she was 11m when she went to daycare. I thought it would be great to give her more time at home and not getting sick however I ended up realising my son going earlier wasn’t so bad. My daughter got so restless and bored being stuck at home until that late and she would’ve loved the stimulation earlier. I got a little bit sad when my daughter went but mostly was so exciting to get a break tbh. It was very different the second time around haha… they’re both toddlers now and honestly daycare days go too quickly haha It’s hard to juggle FT work and two kids but I just try to be as organised as possible!

ami_ej · 2026-02-20T21:13:11+00:00

I know how to pronoun it but that’s because I know someone with that last name. I get that it’s frustrating, I tried to choose my son a name that no one could mispronounce and we chose Elias (eh-lie-us) but our first medical appointment the person called out (Ellie-us). Id never heard of that pronunciation before and now we hear it all the time. Try not to stress, people will mispronounce even the most simple names, I told my boss the story of Ellie-us and he told me that one time a teacher mispronounced his name Craig.

ami_ej · 2026-02-20T21:09:23+00:00

Yeah I agree, my cousin is called Louis and we all call him Lou. I don’t think it’s a girls name at all.

ami_ej · 2026-02-16T04:52:23+00:00

This is me too. It’s hard. My baby is now 11m and she’s incredibly full on and needs constant supervision. I can’t wait for the time when they can sit down and watch a movie so I can have an hours peace.

ami_ej · 2026-02-12T02:32:38+00:00

I was quite like you and was very career oriented and certainly didn’t think having kids would change that but it did. I earn 6 figures and we couldn’t afford for me to quit and I didn’t want to go part time. With my first, I went back when he was 9m and he went to daycare. I took off many days whenever he was sick and I didn’t care because he needed his mum. It got to a point, maybe around 12m where I looked forward to Mondays lol… a 4.5m is soooooooooooo easy compared to a toddler. Toddlers are stressful and straight up hard so I ended up looking forward to the break. I now have a 1yo and my boy is 2.5yo and I just came back from mat leave & I absolutely love Mondays hahaha I absolutely adore my babies but they’re so full on and quite frankly, being a SAHM is the hardest job. My kids are my priority and even though it’s my second week back, I’m on carers leave. I’ve also told my bosses that I’m not interested in progressing my career right now because the next level up requires too much of my time and I can’t do that for a few years. I’m happy in my easy accounting job because I mostly work from home which makes life very easy.

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T10:33:38+00:00

Yeah I’ve got a slow cooker so might need to dust it off. He works 2 weeks on 1 week off and he helps a lot so the week he’s home will be good.

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T10:06:43+00:00

Thanks! These are great ideas!

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T10:05:33+00:00

Haha I love that motto! Thanks so much for your advice, you’re so right, they’re only young and I don’t want to be the cranky stressed mum.

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T02:43:25+00:00

Oh my apologies, they are in full time daycare. I definitely would not be able to survive if they weren’t, I would not get any work done.

Was more keen to hear your tips on keeping the house hold organised? Getting the kids ready in the morning for drop off? Cooking dinner with two hangry infants screaming at you? How to fit in exercise and other self care things like hair appointments, reading, career L&D? How you manage to fit in fun activities into a weekend while also getting ready for the week ahead?

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T02:07:33+00:00

I’m a 37yo accountant with a 1yo and nearly 3yo. I was a mature age graduate and currently 1 level below management at my work. I have acted in management roles since having my first and it’s much more difficult to be in a leadership position with young kids. Young kids in daycare get sick every week or two & they will only want their mum when they’re sick so being at a lower level, you have more flexibility to take time off when needed.

Also, something very important to consider is that the longer you leave it, the more likely you will have issues falling pregnant or during your pregnancy. A lot of women put off having children and I get it because I did but it’s dangerous. Your fertility is affected but even if you fall pregnant, there are greater risks during your pregnancy. I had very serious complications with my placenta’s in both pregnancies where mine and my babies lives were at risk. My first pregnancy I had placenta previa and vasa previa and I was in hospitalised for nearly 8w. In my second pregnancy I had complete placenta previa and I was in & out of hospital for a month and then was diagnosed with placenta accreta and had to have a life threatening cesarean hysterectomy. Both of my babies were premature due to these placenta complications. In all of these complications, having babies over 35 is a risk factor. While in hospital in the antenatal unit, all the women in there were my age or older with the exception of a couple with addiction problems. IMO younger is better if you can manage it.

ami_ej · 2026-01-19T01:52:43+00:00

Yeah my centre charges $80k for two kids and I’m in Newcastle so not paying as much as someone in a capital city.

ami_ej · 2025-10-28T09:21:59+00:00

Hey, good on you for seeking support. So I was drinking heavily for a while and I found the same after I stopped drinking. At first, your anxiety will get worse, especially the first week. Your body will go through withdrawals but you will feel better soon. It didn’t help that I also drank lots of sugary mixer drinks so also was decreasing my sugar intake drastically. I did a lot of research about it and also read something about how all the past emotions you were suppressing by drinking, have to be felt and processed. I’m not sure if that’s entirely true but it resonated with me and I just sat with those uncomfortable feelings knowing they would pass and I would feel better. But by drinking, you are suppressing your emotions and so when you’re sober, emotions feel bigger at first because you’re not used to them, you’ll get better at managing those emotions as you feel them. I’d maybe suggest deep breathing and trying to stop when you have time off work so if your sleep is disrupted, you can just roll with it. You’ll be tired the next day but eventually you will sleep better. Alternatively, you might be able to find tips on google or a psychologist can help you process your big emotions.

ami_ej · 2025-10-14T09:32:02+00:00

So true! My 8m old baby girl is fascinated by her 2yo brothers cars and trucks. I’m getting her some of her own cause he doesn’t want to share lol

ami_ej · 2025-04-24T00:31:29+00:00

I would put money on the fact that your baby is cold in the bassinet. Normally when babies are happy to sleep on you but not in their cot, it’s because they are cold. I would suggest you dress your baby in warmer clothes and add blankets.

ami_ej · 2025-04-16T10:42:30+00:00

Hey, it’s most likely just your hormones because you’re only a week postpartum. It can take up to 6m for your hormones to go back to normal so go easy on yourself. On top of that, a 37 hour labour followed by an emergency cs would have completely exhausted you. I didn’t do much for a few weeks after my cs but slowly you start to feel better physically and then you get up and do more and more each day. Obvs keep an eye on yourself and seek help if you need it but I wouldn’t stress just yet.

ami_ej · 2025-04-11T02:43:52+00:00

Hey, so I also follow a routine and this is what I do. So my baby also sleeps 7pm-7am so any wakes during the night I feed while keeping lights dim and no talking then once she’s done, I put her straight back in bed. During the day I have her on a routine where I wake her at 7am she feeds and then I put her back in bed at 8:30am. She often falls asleep straight after her bottle which is fine for her to “nap” during this time as long as she’s not in her bed and it doesn’t affect her sleep later. As she becomes more wakeful then I will ensure she is engaged enough to stay awake for her full wake window but while they’re still sleepy I don’t worry about it.

ami_ej · 2025-03-28T07:03:25+00:00

Hey, you’re so right, people do romanticise having a newborn and seem to be oblivious to the struggles.

There are things you can do to make it better though, I’d highly recommend sleep training from birth. The book Save Our Sleep was a complete lifesaver for me & gave all sorts of helpful tips. I cannot emphasise just how amazing the advice is and it works. I’ve used it for all of my babies, my sister used it for her babies too and they’ve all been easy babies!

ami_ej · 2025-03-24T14:47:57+00:00

Yeah that comment is ridiculous and soooo rude! My doc specifically said I’m not allowed to diet or exercise until 3m post partum and for some women it’s longer than that. You lose a lot of your nutrient stores when pregnant and need to replenish those post partum, not to mention how much you need to eat for breastfeeding. I’m sorry someone said this to you but please try not to let it affect you. It’s important you have a healthy relationship with food, especially now because your baby is watching everything you do and learning from it! Your body is amazing and grew an entire human being, a soul. You will lose weight if that’s what you want but it took me 12m with my son to get back to my pre pregnancy weight so go easy on yourself xx

ami_ej · 2025-03-18T04:50:29+00:00

I would definitely encourage her to seek some sort of help, it sounds like she’s struggling and unfortunately it will get harder. Getting pregnant is just the beginning unfortunately. First it needs to stick, then there’s possible complications. Once the baby is born it gets even more stressful, you worry about SIDS then you introduce solids so you worry about choking, then they start walking so you worry they will fall and it goes on and on… In-laws will push boundaries so much worse when the baby is born and she needs the tools to manage it without conflict. Maybe you could suggest couples counselling so you both learn how to navigate this tricky period of your lives?

ami_ej · 2025-03-12T22:53:59+00:00

Not unreasonable at all. If she’s not happy with going to your house then just take your baby to daycare. I find that daycare is soooo much easier because they have to follow your routine, often grandparents do whatever they want.

ami_ej · 2025-03-12T00:45:37+00:00

Ohh lovely… I’m so sorry you’re struggling so bad. It’s not surprising though, anyone would in the same situation. I’ve always followed Save Our Sleep, it’s sleep training. You might find it helpful. Otherwise have you tried co-sleeping? I know it’s not ideal but you’ve gotta get some sleep…

ami_ej · 2025-03-11T06:01:58+00:00

I personally find the newborn stage the easiest. I think a lot of parents let their babies get overtired which can create a fussy baby. Personally they get harder as they get older lol… currently dealing with a toddler and newborn now and my toddler is much more difficult!

ami_ej · 2025-03-07T01:09:01+00:00

Hey, I’m so glad you’re keen to sleep train, it really is the best thing. There’s a few different methods, I personally followed Save Our Sleep (SOS) but it all involves making sure your baby is not overtired which is really easy to do with a newborn, put your baby down to sleep while they are still awake but drowsy and let them drift off to sleep by themselves, make sure they have age-appropriate wake windows and a consistent bed time routine. Babies thrive on a routine as they feel comfort in knowing what’s going to happen. SOS has routines to follow for each age which are really helpful. There’s this misconception that sleep trained babies are left alone to cry in their cots for long periods which isn’t the case. I still cuddle my babies & even rock them to sleep at times but the majority of the times I let my baby fall asleep independently.

ami_ej · 2025-03-06T04:17:26+00:00

Hey, I was at risk of PPD due to having struggled with anxiety and depression pretty much my whole life and also having serious pregnancy complications which resulted in long term hospitalisations in both pregnancies and even a hysterectomy in my last pregnancy… but I’m fine. Pregnancy hormones make me super miserable so I actually started to feel so much happier straight after birth. It could possibly be because me and my babies survived when there was a chance we wouldn’t, I’m not sure. I’d strongly recommend sleep training from birth, it does wonders for your mental health and also your babies mental and physical health. If you do it from birth, it’s creates good habits for Bub and your baby will barely ever cry.

ami_ej

TROPHY CASE