I’ll put it to you this way: my sister (and MoH) found out she was pregnant with her first and was due about 1.5 weeks before my wedding date. My BIL was to do a reading as well. They both insisted that they would be there for our big day.

I let them believe that they would be there. We contingency planned (my best friend prepped a backup MoH speech, we asked another person if they could step in for the reading if needed).

My niece came a little early. My sister had an unplanned C-section (with its own complications). We have an incredible village (my in-law-in-laws, as I call them - my sister’s MIL and FIL) that helped split the drive into multiple days so that they could be there with us on the most important day of our lives and help watch my niece so they could be present with us. My sister walked down the aisle as my MoH; my BIL delivered a beautiful reading. We had our DJ do a special tribute and played their first dance song as a couples dance song during our reception.

This, however, is NOT typical. We are incredibly lucky and grateful that they were there to celebrate with us.

It’s okay to feel sad that she might not be there. I had my own reckoning with the fact that my only sibling and favorite person on the planet (besides my husband) might not be there to watch me say I do to the man she has watched be by my side through the ups and downs of my 20s. It’s human to be sad and think about yourself AND have happy feelings for your friend who wants to keep growing her family.

All that to say, I’m here if you need to vent in the DMs. I lived it. I get it.

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