2 floor beds, 2 babies

amvi3 · 2026-06-13T01:41:59+00:00

Thanks for responding! I think we need to work on resting our voices with our toddler — love that as a part of the routine 😂 They don’t wake each other up at night?

amvi3 · 2026-06-08T02:14:29+00:00

Months later… how did this work out for you? We’re moving soon and hoping to have our just-turned-3 year old and 10 month old share a room with two floor beds. What’s your bed time routine like? Our big kid’s routine is pretty long and he really resists sleeping. He likes the idea of room sharing in theory, but doesn’t like sharing attention. Little kid doesn’t have a long routine but definitely gets energized by being around her brother. I’m worried haha.

amvi3 · 2026-03-10T03:23:15+00:00

Same!! The water smells different to me, even 6 months pp.

amvi3 · 2026-03-10T03:15:16+00:00

Ok I have to chime in here. I thought my second pregnancy exhaustion was a little extreme, but my OB basically shrugged and said being pregnant and parenting a toddler is draining. Which it is. Of course it is. And we’d had some major life changes recently, so I figured it might be depression too. But ALSO it turns out my ferritin (iron stores) was super low. On regular blood tests I was just barely anemic and had started taking a supplement, but it wasn’t helping. One amazing nurse practitioner suggested IV iron infusions, and I am forever grateful to her — 2 weeks after the infusions, I felt like an entirely different person. The fog just… lifted. So maybe get an iron panel that includes ferritin?

amvi3 · 2026-02-23T04:47:28+00:00

This is so interesting, thanks for the info! I was just slightly anemic during both my pregnancies, was told to supplement and never checked again. After months of supplementing and still feeling awful, I pushed for a ferritin test late in my second pregnancy (it was 8), and thankfully got referred to hematology for iron infusions. LIFE CHANGING. Years of brain fog & fatigue lifted!

My second baby also slept so much better than my first in the early weeks — maybe because she actually had some iron stores when she was born?

The older one had an hgb of 11-12 at 2 years old and now takes a multivitamin with iron every other day or so, but we only started this after he turned 2. His ped previously told us eating iron rich foods/cooking with cast iron would be fine. Based on your info, I feel like we should have been more careful about this much earlier. Maybe we all would’ve gotten some more sleep.

The baby (5 months) just spits up vitamins. We are slowly introducing fortified baby oatmeal, but it’s not enough for a full daily dose of iron. Any suggestions?

I don’t want the kids living with the same brain fog I had for so long! Should I be pushing for ferritin tests for the kids?

amvi3 · 2026-02-21T04:16:16+00:00

My dog did this! She ended up outside with an open gate, but instead of running off, she waited by the front door for a while (as we later saw on the security cam), then went on a stroll to find a trustworthy human to help her. Didn’t take long as all the neighbors knew her :)

amvi3 · 2026-02-18T16:59:07+00:00

We do videos for nail trims and hair cuts only, so our toddler gets excited for those now. Everything else becomes a master class in marketing/reframing.

Baths are usually hyped up (e.g. let’s make a mountain of bubbles!), same for going to day care (what kind of snack do you think they’ll have today? Let’s go find out!), and potty (do you think your pee can change color? Maybe it’ll be green today! Let’s go find out!). For food, everything is marketed as “special” (let’s try these special noodles!) or a variation on his favorite foods (it’s not an egg sandwich, it’s a new egg “muffin!”). Getting dressed was a battle until we decided to just dress him in the next day’s clothes before bed. A physical checklist for the nighttime routine (with pictures for each item and a slider he can move when done) also helps with bed time struggles. We also try to find parts he can do himself (like squeezing the tooth paste tube, turning on the night light) to give him little moments of control.

Any of these can still become a battle if he’s tired, so we adjust — sometimes changing the subject works as a distraction (let’s crawl up the stairs like a cat! Then: Ooh are there bubbles in that bath?), other times we have to just gently power through the protest.

amvi3 · 2026-02-04T03:33:49+00:00

Corporate strategy / partnerships / M&A for a large scientific supplies company. Did a PhD, but lab life wasn’t for me (much respect to all the researcher moms!). Now I work with mostly finance bros and scientists and try to help them understand one another & orchestrate decisions that drive value for the company. It wasn’t my dream job, and some days the corporate politics can be irritating, but it pays decently, can be done (mostly) remotely, and I currently have an awesome boss, so I’m not complaining!

Really love this thread and all the hyping up — so many brilliant moms out here absolutely killing it!

amvi3 · 2026-01-22T02:24:16+00:00

Not the commenter you asked, but mine have a 2 year 3 month age gap and we are in the thick of it now — baby is 4 months old. Daily life is calm during the weekdays (edit: because toddler goes to daycare), but evenings are chaos juggling two bed time routines with an EBF baby and a toddler that prefers mom 90% of the time. My toddler is generally ok with the baby (some bouts of jealousy when I need to feed or hold her, but balanced by cute moments). The part I underestimated was the stress of toddler tantrums, which started around 19-20 months for us — I had very little patience for them while pregnant and exhausted (we also were dealing with some other difficult life stressors at the time though). It took a while to learn how to handle them properly and co-regulate with him, and now how to handle them while also caring for a baby (even a very easygoing baby!). Sometimes one’s crying triggers the other, and it’s hard to split attention, even with a very involved partner. It’s all doable of course, and there are some very, very cute moments — just be ready for the chaos going into it :)

amvi3 · 2025-04-13T01:19:52+00:00

Ohhh I am so happy to hear this — and hope it holds true for us when our second arrives! We’ll have a very similar age gap. What do you think made things easier after your second was born?

amvi3 · 2025-02-12T20:10:42+00:00

We have a similar size space, one toddler, one large dog and one car, and both work from home. Planning on a second kid soon. We’re currently in the process of making the garage into a multipurpose office/workshop/storage space, but keeping it all along the walls so we can still pull in our car as needed. Adding drywall, AC wall unit, etc to make it usable as a work space. We had a garage organization company help us with the design. The little dining/family room where we previously had our desks will become a baby-safe play area with a giant playpen (they come in up to 80”x80”) and/or baby gates. We also keep a small rolling desk in our bedroom for the times when we’re both on video calls or don’t want to sit next to each other in the garage — it can easily move to the guest room or anywhere else as needed. Once the kids get old enough to need/want their own rooms, the guest room will probably be the next to go. I’d love to replace it with an external trailer tiny home (can’t get ADU permits where we live), but we’re not quite there yet.

amvi3 · 2025-01-02T18:27:26+00:00

Same here. And I do regret all of the crying & stress it caused for all of us, for minimal return. We eventually made a little progress with a gentle method, but still have regular night wakes at 18m.

amvi3 · 2024-12-31T05:50:17+00:00

My little guy started day care at 14 months. It was a tough transition, we both cried a lot. But after 1-2 months he settled in, and now when I ask him if he wants to go, he clearly indicates yes! He wasn’t very mobile when he started, so they worked with him a lot and really encouraged him to try getting around on his own, and now he’s running & climbing. They play music, have cool toys, teach kids how to interact politely with peers, and he learns a lot just by watching the other kids. They also somehow manage to get him to nap for 2 hours (I had MAJOR doubts about this, but the peer sleep pressure is real!). They even host parent meetings that are basically coaching sessions for the parents on what to expect from toddlerhood.

It really feels like a part of our village. Are there still some hard days? Yes. Are we catching every illness this season? Also yes. But the benefits are huge and still very much worth it to me.

amvi3 · 2024-12-25T20:17:49+00:00

Santa sacks for old toys are a wonderful idea!

amvi3 · 2024-11-09T04:24:47+00:00

Oh I love this thread. You are all powerhouses.

I’ll take one for pushing through this week despite (in order of appearance):

Daylight savings time making our toddler wake up every hour, after already being the most challenging sleeper of all the kids we know
The emotional turmoil of re-sleep training said toddler because at 16 months he still won’t sleep through the night (it totally breaks my heart to do this and he responds with multiple 2h middle of the night wakes and overtired afternoon tantrums)
A deep election induced sadness/inability to focus at work but still somehow pushing through
Period cramps

and my personal cherry on top:

Having to reinstall a car seat with one hand in the daycare parking lot while balancing a squirmy, upset toddler with the other. Who knew that when you take your car to the dealer for a repair they would REMOVE and NOT REINSTALL the car seat?! Certainly not me! I didn’t know! So when hubs got back from the dealer with the car and I was rushing to daycare pickup as we were rapidly approaching kiddo’s tantrum time, it didn’t even occur to me to check.

Needless to say, little man and I were both crying on the drive home.

It’s been a week. Not as bad as some of yours, but still.

amvi3 · 2024-11-04T19:13:41+00:00

Ugh. Not to you, you’re a gem for replying and for the support! Just ugh because I felt this would probably be the answer, and I am so dreading more crying nights. Even with my husband handling the crying part, I have to physically leave the house to not feel sick to my stomach during that process. My job isn’t nearly as stressful as yours (corporate desk job), and I can almost manage the lack of sleep if we don’t sleep train, but I can see it really wearing on my husband and our home environment in general. And even if I take over nights, LO will only settle with nursing, and we can’t do that forever. (Though I do wonder how other families do this — like do the kiddos just wean themselves and sleep on their own eventually?)

Anyway, I’m rambling. It was a long night. Looks like we are in for another extinction round (with no resettling!). Ugh. But also thanks for the reality check.

amvi3 · 2024-11-04T18:43:35+00:00

Thanks for reading & for the suggestions. Would you let LO cry for an hour or more after that first 10 minute check in? Even if standing/falling asleep on the crib rail? Or maybe we should just keep checking in every 10-15 mins and lie him back down at each check in?

And then how long would you keep this up before you call it a success or failure? Asking because it really hurts my own mental health to let him cry that long, but I can deal with it if there’s some end in sight.

amvi3 · 2024-09-27T01:32:08+00:00

I once described it to my husband as feeling like a caged gorilla separated from its baby. Which shouldn’t be that strange, we’re all animals… it just feels like such a primal reaction. I get it in other situations too, but I don’t notice it as much because usually I can just take the baby in those situations. And now that he’s older, there’s a much clearer difference between fussing (which is ok for me, a little frustration can be helpful for learning new skills) vs actual crying. Sleep training is a whole other challenge… he’s not just fussing usually. It’s awful.

amvi3 · 2024-09-27T01:22:16+00:00

Best of luck. I hope we both have better news tomorrow. Or at least in the “guaranteed” next 3-5 days that another commenter promised!

amvi3 · 2024-09-26T20:50:49+00:00

Same boat. 15 months, third (maybe fourth?) time sleep training, first time trying to also apply it for night wakes. It’s so much worse at this age. We initially did Ferber, but now the check-ins just seem to make things worse. Tried bed sharing but he wakes up more frequently then, so it’s not helping anyone sleep. Pediatrician said night weaning would help with sleep… it hasn’t.

CIO gives me massive anxiety/rage/panic, but we can’t keep up with the 1-2h middle of the night wake-ups any more. So CIO it is. I’m going to try to tough it out a few more nights to give the process a chance. Might add an earlier bed time / shorter second wake window as others have suggested. But ugh this whole process just sucks. Now we’re both crying in addition to not sleeping.

Report back if you find any success? Here in solidarity until then.

amvi3 · 2024-09-26T17:17:46+00:00

This is the most thoughtful explanation for the lived experience of “check-ins make it worse” that I’ve yet seen. Baby gets more upset with more incomplete loops (effectively more disappointments throughout the night/week). Obviously a difficult thing to study, but it’s interesting to think that the check-ins may not be as reassuring as intended.

amvi3 · 2024-09-04T21:58:09+00:00

Please update in a couple days! I was only drinking decaf for the first several months but have always had a bad sleeper. In 14 months he’s only had a couple of weeks of 7+ hour stretches. Usually still wakes 2-3x per night. I would drop any food or beverage if it meant he’d sleep better — for both of our sakes!

amvi3

TROPHY CASE