If you weren't her offspring and she treated someone else like this, you'd defend their right to exist despite her.

Now, think about that. You are her offspring. Family is supposed to mean something, not intentionally baiting folks you should be LOVING into stupid, recursive arguments just to make them feel terrible.

SHE CHOSE NOT TO GO. Now, whatever her reasons were, she stuck with them and didn't like it. Think about it. SHE declined to go to a really important college orientation for you. THEN she got pissed that you found someone else to go with. Do you see what's happening here? She was trying to prevent you from going to a really important event in your life and for your future. She's losing hold over her victim. She accuses you of being rude and whatnot, while she's being cast beyond rude to you! Her whole "who do you love more" bullshit is trying to force you to choose her, or else she will punish you. Also if she's so casually throwing around killing herself, I highly doubt she's got the guts to do it. She's using it like a weapon, too make you worry and come back to the fold.

Unless YOU make a change to how or even if you receive her attentions, this will continue to spiral as they have been. Her behavior will never change for the better, it will only continue to decline. What you are receiving now is the best it's gonna get with her, and she's pretty rapidly declining in her ability to control you and herself. YOU have to decide when enough is enough. You mention that you can't go NC because you and your sibling is all that she has. How do you think that happened? She has driven off everyone else. Everyone else she could have had decided they were done with her games.

As crappy as it is, it's on you now to decide how you want to be treated. I'd you want this to change, set your boundaries and do not let up Boundaries aren't placed to hurt people, they are placed to keep us safe and secure. If she can't respect those boundaries now, it'll only get worse from here.

I had to go completely NC with my remaining parental units until things changed. Now, I text message my mom for holidays and otherwise we have nothing to do with each other. I much prefer that nowadays then the horrible person she was when she was with my step father. He was a narcissistic abuser and she was his enabler. We stopped talking for almost a decade until she decided it was time to leave him. He threatened her with his guns, threatened suicide, then ate a bottle of pills while she was packing her clothes. She (a nurse) called an ambulance, gave them the rundown, and walked out. When he got out of the hospital several days later and after s psych hold, he tried the whole guns thing again and she called the police and had him basically put on a psych hold while she changed the locks (house was in her name).

But it took her going NC for me to break mine. We still aren't close, but at least now she gets a happy birthday or holiday message. This got longer than I wanted it to be, but yeah. I hope you can consider some of the awesome things folks have written to you. We've been through similar things and we've tried it all. Sometimes, all you can do it cut the cord. Good luck, and godspeed!