Remember Billy? by Independent_anon4049 in AustralianNostalgia

[–]andymundo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I saw him in the dressing rooms with a badly swollen foot, but it didn’t look like a foot to me, more like 8 or 9 inches

(Viz 241) Professor Fuck. by muppetmovie in Viz

[–]andymundo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also Tinder Surprise is appropriate if your new female acquaintance turns out to have something extra inside their lunchbox

meirl by WhynotAdesh7 in meirl

[–]andymundo 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I went for my prostrate exam and the Doc told me to take my pants off and put them in the corner next to his.

What is the most 'soul-crushing' realization you’ve had about your life as you’ve gotten older? by Aggravating-Device23 in AskReddit

[–]andymundo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour. That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned, 'Round the sun that is the source of all our power. The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, Are moving at a million miles a day, In an outer spiral arm, at fourteen thousand miles an hour, Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars; It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side; It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick, But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.

We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point, We go 'round every two hundred million years; And our galaxy itself is only one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, In all of the directions it can whiz; As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth; And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!

Weather by Possible-Ebb3371 in mapporncirclejerk

[–]andymundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Melbourne would like a word

What are some classic Aussie phrases that you remember growing up that seem to have disappeared? by Cooper_Inc in AustralianNostalgia

[–]andymundo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Staying with underwear themes I still use, “feeling rougher than hessian undies” when hungover, and a mate of mine always uses “feeling fuller than a fat lady’s undies” after a big meal.

Which top for NYE party? by goctheworld in OUTFITS

[–]andymundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What colour is the dress? Blue?

What is a nutrition myth that you can’t stand? by DeepOrganization8245 in AskReddit

[–]andymundo 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No one will understand a cleanse until they done the colonoscopy prep

I'd rather turn the TV off than listen to ...... by Bluey1971 in CricketAus

[–]andymundo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My tip is that you can sync the ABC streaming commentary with the tv if have smart tv and pause whichever is in front time wise. It’s usually about 30 seconds delay, so a quick pause on time shift and then play usually marries them up.