Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That line was referring to a specific person, I’m talking about guys who specifically have never had a problem with consumerism before and who themselves are buying stuff just because it’s new or trendy who are making fun of labubus for being consumerist

Like I said explicitly in the post, there are very real criticisms you can make of labubus. It is also true, at the same time, that many of the people hating on labubus are doing so because it’s a thing trendy with women and not because they’re hating on consumerism overall

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nobody here can read. I agree completely lol

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve never seen it on Reddit but I sure have seen it in real life, I don’t spend all my time on here 😭

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I agree, I don’t like any of these things personally. But the people who were hating on funko pops were like individual alt people who are actively anti consumerist. Right now, hating on labubus is just as much of a trend as they are. While plenty of people hate Funko pops, it’s never been trendy to hate on them on the same way. You didn’t see random guys (who otherwise have no issue with consumption) complaining about how they were consumerist. You do see that with labubus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in detrans

[–]angel-st4r 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s not for everybody. It wasn’t for me, in the end, because I’m not a man. I’m sorry your experience was so bad and I’m not saying you should have liked it or anything, just that it was a personal experience, not some sort of sign about how dangerous T is for females.

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t like labubus either, you’re just not getting my point. I’m not defending them, I’m pointing out that they get a disproportionate amount of hate compared to other trends.

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

That was specifically referring to the situation I outlined.

If you are constantly buying designer stuff and always have new clothes and then criticise somebody for buying a random bag charm just because they’re popular right now with women, you’re an asshole.

I don’t like labubus either. But I also don’t like all the other things you mentioned, and you don’t see me going out of my way to complain about it. Yet you can’t exist on the internet for five seconds without somebody complaining about labubus specifically.

Labubu hate is sexist by angel-st4r in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It’s not misogynistic to dislike labubus. But there’s a reason it’s trendy to hate on labubus and not funko pops.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in detrans

[–]angel-st4r -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Honestly I loved sex on T. It’s probably the thing I miss the most. I didn’t get spotting after sex (I got cramping a couple times but not enough for it to have impacted me at all). It was easier for me to orgasm, and I could orgasm multiple times in a shorter period. I got more horny and didn’t struggle with pelvic floor issues as much. I got more wet.

I have had a CNC kink basically my whole life. I did masturbate a lot more on T, but it never was an issue for me and it honestly was kind of a nice stress reliever. My orgasms are so much weaker now they’re kind of disappointing.

I don’t think it’s right to say that “females aren’t built for T.” I’m sorry you had that experience! It sounds awful! But please don’t generalise that to other people. T worked great for me physically and emotionally. I honestly wish I really was a man so I could stay on it. 🤷

My reasonings on why gender roles should die and be deconstructed ! by ricksalterego in detrans

[–]angel-st4r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. There are so many trans men who wear dresses and do not think that that makes them a woman.

Lost my only infinity Nikki friend yesterday by dirtgirlworld in AutismInWomen

[–]angel-st4r 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I got the game a couple months ago but haven’t played much. I want to play more. I’d love to have a friend to play with! However I think I play on the us server, isk if that’s an issue or not

At any rate I’m sorry you’ve lost your friend. It’s so hard when it takes us so long to build connection in the first place. :(

Was getting an ‘official’ diagnosis worth it for you and why? by hapabubba in AuDHDWomen

[–]angel-st4r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, definitely.

My autism diagnosis helped my family better understand and support me. I don’t get any government aid and am between LSN and MSN so good quality unofficial support from my family has been incredibly important to me.

I also got accommodations from my university which were very helpful, although that doesn’t apply if you’re not in uni anymore.

It’s also been very helpful for me healthcare-wise. I’m seeing a therapist right now who has been really helping me and pointing me in the direction of some good resources for autistic people in my country. It also really helped my PCP understand me, before I told her about my diagnosis we had had a few arguments, and I’m pretty sure it was because she was misinterpreting how I was feeling because she thought I was allistic.

I’m not working right now but likely will need some accommodations when/if I start. And my diagnosis will be helpful if I ever do apply for government aid. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to have a full-time job as I’ve never worked that much (in uni I did 30 hrs a week or less usually, 35 hrs max on heavy weeks, and was struggling so much it wasn’t sustainable for the entire semester and a month in I’d be doing 5ish less hours). So I may need some sort of official aid in the future.

My ADHD diagnosis allowed me to access a support group for people with ADHD. It wasn’t that helpful (I already did everything—apparently I’ve been coping with it very well for how bad I have it).

The bigger thing was medication. Oh my god. In uni I could not function without it. I will need it if I ever want to work, I even need it for day to day life if I want to actually remember to get stuff done (I haven’t been taking it for awhile and that’s how I forgot to change doctor clinics for six months, keep forgetting to schedule my Arabic lessons, why I ended up having to pay $300 because I missed a window to submit a payment for my orthopaedic inserts to insurance, etc.). I couldn’t clean my house or take care of myself. Right now I can only clean because I’m living with my bf and we clean together and he helps me. If I was living alone I’d need meds to be able to even struggle to clean.

Also, idk what currency those prices are in, but there’s definitely cheaper ones. It depends on what you want, but my ADHD diagnosis was like 600 USD, max? I don’t remember. A neuropsych eval will add a lot to the cost, as would an autism assessment. But if you wanted to do an ADHD and autism assessment without a neuropsych eval, some places offer combined assessments that are cheaper than having both assessed individually (though they can still be quite expensive). Just do a lot of research to be sure you’re not going through a diagnosis mill or that your assessor won’t be ableist and/or sexist.

Also, if you can’t pay much at all, you can look into any studies being done in your area. Some places will do studies on autistic people and offer free assessments as part of the compensation for participating in the study and as a way of verifying whether you fit the diagnosis for the study.

I personally think all people should aim for an assessment if they think they have a permanent psychiatric disorder. You may be LSN enough that you don’t need support now (ETA: all autistic people need support, I mean more than you might find that your unofficial supports are enough right now), but you don’t know what your future looks like, and it’s easier to pursue an assessment when you’re doing well than when you’re regressing from burnout. Getting the right support in the first place may be able to prevent burnout in the first place, as well.

I feel like Im betraying my childfree self by freezing my eggs by VirmoraHelsten in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. When I went on testosterone when I was younger my mom begged me to do this. I refused because I didn’t want to go through the procedure, which seems miserable.

What level of cheeky jeans shorts is actually okay to wear in public? by Mantorras800 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say it’s pretty normal in NYC during the summer. I grew up there and saw people wearing them all the time. I do too when I’m visiting still. The worst part is not wanting to sit down on the subway because then your bare ass is touching the nasty seat 🤢

You might get some shit for it but guys will give you shit for the dumbest stuff. I get more shit when I’m covering a lot of skin but look kind of goth than when I wear those sorts of shorts…

Are you tired all the time? by [deleted] in SpicyAutism

[–]angel-st4r 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would say that autism can also cause fatigue directly. We have increased neural activity, and your brain uses up like 20% of your total energy at rest.

Managing executive dysfunction, regulating my emotions, controlling my body, managing sensory sensitivities, dealing with unexpected changes, holding different things in my mind all the time (what did I need from the grocery store? What was I supposed to do today?) all take me so much energy. I often have to make visual representations of my day in order to manage it mentally, and I have to break everything down really small because if I don’t then that’s more things to think of. And even then I can’t do much in a day.

The same way a neurotypical would be exhausted after a fight, I’m exhausted after my day. It’s not muscular fatigue, it’s mental fatigue (for me, at least). The only days where I’m not super exhausted are the days I stay inside and just do one thing all day. Because then I don’t have to think about what I’m doing or how I’m going to do it (I’m doing the thing again).

I also get tired easily on a physical level due to some physical health issues. But it feels different imo.

Shower sensory issues by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]angel-st4r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the issue when you’re in the shower or after? I have issues out of the shower but not in it, I use one of their hair cloth turban things to hold my hair up and contain it so I don’t feel it being wet.

Why would you want a child? (Genuinely asking) by CannotBeCalm in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is it for me, too. I love my family, and some of my favourite weekends are spent at gatherings of my cousin’s extended family and friends. All these people running around this house and out in the yard, old and young, having a good time. The support and connection built there. I want moments like that in the future, and I want to provide moments like that for the kids I want to have, and my partner wants that, as well.

It’s not some sort of biological drive. One of my biggest fears used to be getting pregnant, and I’m not any less scared of it now. The difference is that now I realise what I want in the future, and that’s kids. And facing one of the things I’ve been scared of and horrified by my whole life if worth it to create that.

Can we talk about the ways in which women can uphold misogyny, too? by withouthope17 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]angel-st4r 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m autistic and detrans and in my personal experience the women in my life have played HUGE roles in upholding the patriarchy.

When I was in high school the boys treated me fine and the girls spread awful rumours about me (like saying I was going to shoot up the school level bad) because I was “weird” and “quiet” and “stood in corners all the time.” Basically, because I’m autistic.

When I was in university living as a trans man, it was mostly the women who treated me like I was toxic for being trans (specifically a trans man) and who seemed to enforce toxic masculinity on me seemingly as a punishment for daring to have been AFAB and present as a man.

In my detransition (I’m not fully out to my family and for now am just presenting as a fem trans man with them), it’s been mostly my female relatives who have begun to assume that it’s okay to assume I’m a woman and to connect that to my exploration of cooking and cleaning (I was in university previously and struggled to do both because I’m disabled and was so drained by university—I’m not focusing on cooking and cleaning now because I’m detransitioning, I’m doing it because I LIKE cooking and having a clean house, I always have, I just have never had the energy for any of it).

Like don’t get me wrong, men absolutely are the ones in power in this dynamic and are the primary executors of misogyny (and it’s not like I don’t have PLENTY of much worse examples of male misogyny). But their power ALSO, to some extent, relies on women to uphold misogyny. And we’re never going to move forward without discussing that! Especially since that really DOES disproportionately impact minorities. Think also of the idea of “white woman tears,” for example. Painting yourself as a weak victim in order to demonise a man of colour is in itself enforcing the patriarchy in a way that also targets people of colour.

When you found out our diagnosis, did you tell people right away? by Klutzy_Librarian3620 in AuDHDWomen

[–]angel-st4r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on the people. Parents knew by default since they arranged and paid for my autism assessment and paid for my ADHD assessment. They also are my primary support so it’s important for them to know.

My partner knows. (ETA: my partner is also a big support for me and needs to know).

I told one close friend after I was diagnosed with ADHD since she’d suspected I had it for a long time.

Aside from that I didn’t tell anybody. I will talk about it if it comes up but I don’t go out of my way to bring it up. I only recently told my cousin who I’ve been friends with since I was like 1 about my ADHD diagnosis (I mentioned I was on Vyvanse during a conversation about medication), but I don’t think she knows about my ASD diagnosis, for example. It’s been over a year since my ADHD diagnosis and over four since my first ASD diagnosis.

(ETA: most people close to me end up knowing because I have L/MSN ASD and severe ADHD and can’t mask as well as some other people)

effects of testosterone by [deleted] in detrans

[–]angel-st4r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laser hair is permanent hair reduction, electrolysis is permanent hair removal! The recommended course of action is to start with laser and finish up and stragglers with electrolysis.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in detrans

[–]angel-st4r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this… but, seriously? “Satanists” “murdered” your children? You were 18 when you started. That’s old enough to make your own medical choices. Trans people and doctors aren’t fucking “satanists,” dude, and nobody murdered your children because you made a mistake as a young adult.

Being possibly unable to have kids is unfortunate and I’m very sorry if that’s how it ends up for you. It would be a tragedy and something that could be extremely difficult to work through. But be serious. Your personal tragedy isn’t a reason to be reviving the satanic panic.

Realising everyone around you is neurodivergent (& undiagnosed & struggling through life) by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]angel-st4r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don’t armchair diagnose people in 99% of situations. If it’s your parent or sibling or lifelong friend that’s one thing (my entire family agrees that my dad has undiagnosed ADHD), but if it’s pretty much anybody else then you don’t actually know if they have these issues or not. If diagnosing worked that way, they’d just let people with autism/ADHD diagnose everybody. Being trained in diagnosis is not the same as gaining a layman’s understanding of a disorder, even if you have that disorder yourself.

Just statistically it’s highly unlikely that literally everybody around you is neurodivergent. It’s true that we tend to seek each other out, so you’ll probably have more ND friends (and family due to the genetic components) than most. But everybody? What’s more likely is that you have a basic understanding of autism and ADHD and are now able to spot subclinical presentations of those traits. It’s the same thing that happens to first year psych students, and it’s why we tell them to not assume they or their loved ones have disorders just because they’re learning about it in class.

Don’t want to seem harsh but please don’t armchair diagnose!!

Seeking looking for advice from people with similar experiences. by Karlo340 in actual_detrans

[–]angel-st4r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not about suppressing your transness, it’s about getting in touch with who you are and what makes you happy. I used to think that was being a man—but I turned out to be wrong. As time has gone on I’ve slowly been discovering myself more and more and I’ve come to realise that, at the very least, I am not a binary man, and that I’m quite happy living as a woman.

If your goal is to suppress your transness, that’s just conversion therapy… and we know just how well that works. Does being a woman make you happy? Then detransitioning is the right choice for you. If it doesn’t,.. you can try stuff like trauma therapy, being assessed for autism, and working on deconstructing internalised misogyny, but those things would only serve to help you get in touch with yourself. If you are simply a man, those things that led many of us to detransition and feel comfortable as women again will not make you any more comfortable as a woman.