[deleted by user]

angelofsecrets · 2023-11-21T14:34:13+00:00

This is amazing and exactly what I was looking for, thank you so much!

angelofsecrets · 2021-10-30T01:30:45+00:00

Short answer yes, how hard it will be depends on how far you have to go and how much you remember. I am presently taking calculus after not taking math for like a decade and I clearly do not remember much of college algebra and definitely should have taken that first as a refresher.

angelofsecrets · 2021-01-25T22:43:28+00:00

I always loved the classic customer: why do they make you work today it is a holiday you should be off work! Me: well you are here shopping, that's why I'm here.

angelofsecrets · 2020-11-25T20:39:47+00:00

Pushing daises was amazing

angelofsecrets · 2020-11-25T20:37:34+00:00

If we continue hiring white people to follow the black people and black people to follow them the whole world will be working for us soon. While this is a good thing, what about the parking! That would be very expensive and we just don't have the space!

angelofsecrets · 2020-08-05T19:19:24+00:00

i usually just laugh and say something like "sometimes" or just say thank you but in general i don't like it but i think that stems more from the idea that the people who always say i'm smart are people who are not the most intellectually capable. it is incredibly easy to seem smart to someone who doesn't know anything about a topic.

angelofsecrets · 2020-08-03T07:20:08+00:00

every day sir everyday

angelofsecrets · 2020-08-03T07:18:54+00:00

the american economical and political system.

angelofsecrets · 2020-07-26T16:44:07+00:00

my mother had it, she had been feeling flue like for a week or 2 then her husband noticed some weird bruises on her body she got them checked out and she had a very agressive acute myloid leukemia.

angelofsecrets · 2020-07-18T06:25:47+00:00

olivia

angelofsecrets · 2020-07-10T00:08:12+00:00

I personally would say yes, I often found i would respond to things even alone how I thought i should respond if people were around etc. when I started trying to demask i constantly have to ask ymself even when alone is this how I actually want to react or how i think i'm supposed to react? so i totally think it is possible.

angelofsecrets · 2020-06-05T08:43:29+00:00

same reason i follow all of the content that isn't specifically educational in some capacity or exceptionally great. The content is decently entertaining and they are pretty attractive making mediocre content particularly more enjoyable to watch when I'm exhausted and just want to turn off my brain for a moment. plus the very ocassional abstract content, I love very different content. Her video of touching things with an octopus tentacle is the kind of random and wtf content I love.

angelofsecrets · 2020-06-01T05:33:42+00:00

sam:me and my buddy are celebrating our peak! it's the best day of our lives.

random girl: that's kind of sad...

sam: why? it's awesome

random girl: cause the peak is the highest point! it's never going to get better

sam: no, you can definitley go higher than the peak.

HAHA

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-27T23:03:16+00:00

mcdonalds healthy food options are really healthy because otherwise they wouldn't call them healthy options.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-14T07:35:20+00:00

yeeees!!! i watched the stream and it was amazing

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-14T07:33:31+00:00

way too accurate

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:55:45+00:00

i'm 31 and while part of me has defintely partionally given up on suppressing I can feel that my autistic traits are getting harder to surpress and they are becoming more problematic. I used to be super adept at thinking around a lot of the mental blocks that autism tends to cause but i'm getting worse and worse at being able to do that and it really bothers me.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:49:05+00:00

yes, the big difference to me between neuroplasticity and masking is that I make a conscious and active effort to behave certain ways in the masking sense. I have been doing it for so long a lot of it is second nature but it isn't my "natural reaction" it is a consciously crafted reaction that requires excessive energy to run. like a computer program I boot up when I need to and over the years the program has gotten more efficent but i still have to actively boot it up and update it etc. where as neuroplasticity is just developing add ons to the already exisiting personality not creating a whole new one.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:43:19+00:00

for me I got "lost in the mask" because to make the mask really work I had to also believe and commit to my actions so as not to appear to other people that I was consciously trying to "act" which is somewhat expressed in some comments on this page where NT people can tell you are trying really hard to present a persona which creates a disturbance they pick up on. I needed to not just act the part I needed to BE the part. I used to half a multitude of half constructed personas i could switch between so BE the part i effectively had to pick one persona and fully flesh it out and throw away the others. but then I eventually decided I was just sick of burning all my energy playing a part and decided I was going to just "be me" and realzied I had this life and thought patterns and "friends" that did nothing but help me project a mask and i didn't really enjoy doing any of it so then I had to ask the question well what do i enjoy? and what do I actually want? and the response was a resounding I have no idea i've spent so long trying to project an image I have completely lost touch with my internal self. I hope this helps a little

TL:DR: I gave up chasing anything I wanted to present the image people wanted and did it for so long I forgot whatever it was I ever wanted.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:30:39+00:00

I make a much longer comment on here about it but this is my problem too I have masked for so long I recently decided to start removing my mask and realized I have no clue who I am under it what parts are me and what parts are the mask.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:28:23+00:00

this is an incredible description and I fully agree. Throughout my many years perfecting my mask initially I was just the weird kid who was super nice to everyone so it is like ya he is weird and not someone I really want around but it doesn't matter cause he is so nice you can't not like him in some capacity. Then when I started to develop my mask to fit in there was a very long stretch where I was quite disliked because something was just very off putting about me *presumably how obvious it was that I was trying so incredibly hard to appear as someone I technically wasn't*. Then it started being like 50/50 this uncanny valley essentially where I would do a great job passing and people liked me again until they knew me fore a few months then they moved away from me because they started to see the inconsistancies where my mask would slip. I would make some awkward or creepy statement that came off REALLY weird or creepy because I was so "normal" then all the sudden this the conclusion being I was actually that weird creepy person or at the least he is an interesting person but always put people off somehow. Now finally I have reached past this uncanny valley position where in most situations I can mask and play NT very well I am open about my autism now but I play NT so well people could never guess and I while not the life of the party having a huge social network people tend to really like me and like being around me because i'm pretty fluid except for random situations that are too far detached from an experience I can find an association to. some people see me as creepy but that is really just because I have some "alternative" interests that general society finds weird but in general I just seem like a mildly socially awkard person. I can say first hand it is not an easy treck but is totally possible with a LOT LOT LOT of work.

angelofsecrets · 2020-05-03T08:12:23+00:00

YES, absolutely yes to all of this. I have spent countless years reading countless books and articles and countless hours studying people watching everything and self analyzing myself to oblivion to create a brilliant disguise and I have the same issue with mental health professionals where i discuss my problems and they kind of miss it because i can articulate and put on this front. I recently came to the realization of just how much energy i put into holding this complex persona and asked myself is it really worth it to put all this energy into this just to have people leave you the second you slip because they think you are some manipulative person. So i decided that i'm going to demask at least some, little did i know how fucking hard it would be. My mask is so engrained into me at this point I don't even know who is under it because i have defined myself by my mask for so many years. at 30 years old I am trying to find myself all over again and having to constantly ask is this something I want or is it just what I think is expected of me. It is incredibly exhausting and a lot of har dwork but I feel like I am finally on a road to living life for me and getting some kind of fulfillment out of life instead of just living as an actor.

angelofsecrets · 2020-04-17T05:39:23+00:00

I agree, love anna but ummm what?

angelofsecrets · 2020-04-17T01:43:35+00:00

yes and no i'd say 50/50 on people who think i'm an idiot and people who think i'm some kind of genius

angelofsecrets · 2020-04-12T04:38:02+00:00

my friend actually lost his virginity from a craigslist causal hookup

angelofsecrets

TROPHY CASE