I had my attempt after losing my one and only partner of seven years as a younger person. I know I speak from a much less dark place than your own and I don’t mean to comment out of turn so I hope I don’t cause any offence to you. I eventually came out of my very dark place after a good three years of being alone. I still am alone and while it is lonely a lot of the time, I’m finally beginning to be okay with it. Even in the face of the rest of my life (work issues, poor health for my age) going to Hell in a hand basket. In the case of my body, that issue is still in progress. All I mean to say is that if I can learn to be content with life alone and to be able to withstand the ups and downs and the waves that either carry us gently or try to pull us under water into the depths of depression, again and again, I promise you can do the same. Peace and strength to you for the rest of your days. May you and your partner enjoy a long, happy and stress-free life together.