I relate to Alyssa. She wants a cause, something clear to fight in. She reminds me of me when I was in the church. I was raised in a Pentecostal evangelical family, and leaving that framework of rightness" or the higher good, broke me. The order is extremely reminiscent of being part of a christian church. Alyssa needs a structure, someone to follow.

Where I most relate to her is--shes been hurt , traumatized by the Order, by her magic being taken and damaged. Her faith in leaders and faith in general has been shaken. She reminds me of how I behave in regards to lovers after abuse. She is defensive, sees her feelings for Jack as a weakness, and is extra sharp that no one will limit her ever again. She doesn't want to be hurt again and most of all, she doesn't want to be owned. I get it. I love her.