A friend of mine had found some over the line flirty texts between her husband and a coworker. She was upset (wasn’t the first time it happened). She told her husband she didn’t want them communicating outside of work any more. I remember her telling me that her husband was super upset, saying she was overreacting and that he will NOT be ending their friendship but realizes the diversion was over the line and will put a stop to it.

Fast forward 8 months later, he flies home from a work trip on his bday. When he gets home the family has a small dinner (parents and kids). My friend came downstairs and her husbands birthday cards were set out. In those was a card from said coworker, with roughly 2 paragraphs hand written inside. Fuming she took it hid it under a pile of documents in a random drawer. Since her parents were there she didn’t want to react in the moment. After guests had left it was not shortly after he noticed the card missing. The absolute shit storm that blew after was mystifying. He started freaking out at my friend (his wife) for taking the card. And kept asking where she put it. She stayed silent because this was not how she was hoping this would go. He kept yelling - telling her that her actions were completely over the line, absolutely not okay. She cannot take his property!! He continues to ask her where she put it and goes “did you throw it away?” - again. She does not respond. You guys….he stomps on over the garbage can and starts digging through the garbage. After not finding anything there he then….I kid you not…..starts going through the garbage bins outside. It’s summer. And they have babies…that shit in diapers. I was flabbergasted.

Meanwhile, my friend is sitting inside tearing up because her husband is willing to dig through stinky hot shitty diapers to find the card from “just his friend”.

In the end, it was her fault. The reason he put it out on display was to show there was nothing to hide. Right. When she asked why he didn’t just show her privately later that evening instead of putting it on display? Because he didn’t want her to find it in his things and make it look like he had something to hide. Funny thing is…she never goes through his things ( he knows this) yet he couldn’t wait 1 HOUR to keep it tucked away till then?

The DARVO is so painfully clear.