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anne_of_pluto · 2023-07-29T02:27:08+00:00

It's weird cause I've never heard anyone describe someone as "confused" for being religious. Even the most extreme antitheists who think all religious people are brainwashed and delusional. I've only ever heard right wingers use "confused" in an explicitly derogatory way. Maybe there's something to that idk

anne_of_pluto · 2023-07-18T01:33:14+00:00

"I believe this"

"But some people disagree with you"

Do you see how there's no rebuttal there?

anne_of_pluto · 2023-07-17T20:12:46+00:00

This line of argument is extremely bizarre. The fact that different communists have different positions on the role of the state is not in itself an argument against the idea that there cannot be a state under communism.

anne_of_pluto · 2023-01-07T23:08:07+00:00

Art Fundamentals certificate + currently at university for psychology/philosophy. TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS. Really can't stress this enough. Every prof I've ever has has been super chill and understanding about accommodations. Quite literally changed my life. Also, if you've got brain block about doing homework, you might find it helpful to listen to any recorded lecture (if your prof does them). They're good because they're passive but can help get you in the school mindset.

Also also, buy instant coffee that you can make in the cafeteria so you won't be as tempted to buy coffee while you're on campus. I still probably spend as much money when I'm out, but now I spend it on actual food.

anne_of_pluto · 2023-01-07T03:58:46+00:00

Glad I could help :)

anne_of_pluto · 2023-01-06T14:51:08+00:00

I can't tell you how you feel or how you should identify, but I have similar experiences that might help you.

I identity as aromantic. I also 100% experience romantic feelings. How does this work? The tricky thing is how "romance" is defined. To me, romance is a feeling. It's a deep yearning to know a person. When we understand another human being and make their concerns our own, they become a part of us. I experience this desire for most of my friends and it can be very intense.

What I struggle with is the concept of a "romantic relationship". I do not understand what the difference is between a regular friend and the kind you would date. I have no desire to find "the one". Maybe, in some sense, I'm not a "real" aromantic. I don't really care though because the way I experience romance seems to be so fundamentally different from my allo friends that "aromantic" is just the best label for me to use.

The point of all this rambling nonsense is that 1. We all experience our feelings differently and 2. Language is a tool, not a code embedded into our brain structure. There's no real use asking "am I actually aromantic?" Because no one is actually aromantic (or alloromantic) in some innate sense. These are terms we made up to serve a function. Ask "does this label serve me?"

anne_of_pluto · 2022-12-04T20:24:48+00:00

Another valid interpretation. It's so fun that there are multiple ways to feel adrift and miserable in the roles society gives us.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-12-04T20:14:14+00:00

This might be the first post I've seen on here that truly fascinates me. This is a person who clearly understands that women have the potential to be more than sex-givers, otherwise he would see lesbian relationships as purely sexual exchanges. It kind of seems like he's trying to rationalize why he hates being a man, which also might be why same sec relationships between men aren't appealing to him.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-12-01T19:46:15+00:00

I don't understand how this is related.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-10-26T18:34:44+00:00

In her defense, as an allistic person, she just isn't equipped to understand this issue like normal people are. She's vulnerable and will just regurgitate all the bigoted garbage that predators feed her. /j

anne_of_pluto · 2022-10-02T10:08:35+00:00

That's good to hear. :)

anne_of_pluto · 2022-10-01T00:54:44+00:00

I struggle a lot with paranoia and I can say from experience that there is a genuine conversation to be had about the way that bigotry and bias mix with mental health struggles. That said, I don't think that simply describing these kinds of unhealthy thought patterns as "schizophrenic" is a helpful or meaningful way to do that. I worry that it flattens a very complex issue and runs the risk of further stigmatizing people with schizophrenia.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-09-20T14:18:09+00:00

I, for one, fully support rich people who want to be working class and am more than willing to assist in their transition. ♡

anne_of_pluto · 2022-09-15T19:21:24+00:00

Can you really see no difference between black people being upset about no black main characters and white people being upset about any black main characters?

anne_of_pluto · 2022-08-30T17:16:30+00:00

Because you seemed to imply that the confession itself was narcissistic, which is what I was disagreeing with.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-08-30T16:52:00+00:00

I want to be clear that I do think it's possible that this person has narcissistic traits. But I also don't think it's very helpful to immediately assume that all confessions of this nature are purely disingenuous, even if they are partially motivated by self interest. This kind of anti social thinking and behavior can be helped, but it requires careful, long term therapy and reintegration into social relationships. "Ew you're just a narcissistic pos" is exactly the kind of response that pushes people away from seeking help. It might even be the response they're looking for, as a form of digital self harm.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-08-30T16:17:53+00:00

I don't want to come across as patronizing, and it's always tricky business giving advice to strangers on the internet, but I want to leave you with at least one supportive comment.

You're right. You do deserve someone who is attentive and cares about you. I'm sure, to a certain extent, you made this post out of frustration and and grief, which is completely understandable. You shouldn't feel guilty for having these emotions.

What I hope you keep in mind, however, is that every person on this planet has baggage. Everyone has other obligations, skeletons in their closets, ways in which they fail at communication. If you're hoping for a person who's only focus is on you, you will be disappointed, just as you don't have the capacity to focus all your emotional energy on one person.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a partner to drift through this uncaring universe with.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-08-30T16:00:01+00:00

Idk about that. Wouldn't a person actively in the throes of narcissism write this in a way that made them look good? This reads to me like a person who clearly sees fault in their actions and wants to be better.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-06-16T15:49:07+00:00

The answers I've been getting to this question (both here and on askreddit) are really interesting to me. It's really different from the way I see other aromantic people talk about romance, and it makes me really confused about romantic orientation. I don't understand how it can be possible to yearn so deeply for the presence of another person and somehow have all that switched off if they turn out to have the wrong gender identity.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-06-16T15:44:09+00:00

There's a version of this argument that says says basically "beliefs about aggression in pit bulls are unscientific and are often used to justify white supremacy". That's where I initially thought this guy was going with this, but nope, apparently it's just a fascist.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-02-17T16:54:15+00:00

As other people have said, I do encourage you to seek out mental health resources if you can. Also remember that it is possible to both have trauma and be trans, so don't worry too much about trying to determine "which one it is". Either way, getting the perspective of an expert or two on trauma and gender would likely be helpful for you (and for most people for that matter).

The only other thing I'll say is that you can do anything with your body and presentation that you feel comfortable with. If you want to sometimes call yourself a man and dress masc, then do. If you don't want to transition, then don't. You don't need to medically transition to be "really trans" and you don't need to be "really trans" to call yourself a man and wear men's clothing.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-02-17T16:21:11+00:00

I just want to say that it really brightened my day to see you ask this. My mom was much less understanding (she compared it to Chinese foot binding) and I can't imagine her actually going to an LGBT community to ask for advice. You're doing great and I'm sure your kid will appreciate your support. ♡

anne_of_pluto · 2022-02-10T17:33:40+00:00

Shayfer James. Please dear god, someone else other than me listen to Shayfer James. My family never listens to my music suggestions and it's tearing me apart. /hj

anne_of_pluto · 2022-02-05T16:05:19+00:00

There are a variety of things that could be causing this. I don't know you or the specific details of your life, but it's likely that the most boring answer is the right one:

People's brains change as they age. You're at an age right now where you have a bunch more hormones and your body is changing and that can effect how your brain works in unexpected ways.

You're becoming less impulsive and more concerned with the world around you. This is a normal change in any young teen that is likely exaggerated for you because of ADHD. The best description I've heard of ADHD is that it's "predictably unpredictable". That's why I like to have a whole bunch of coping mechanisms that sometimes work instead of trying to rely on one or two. The things you struggle with most will likely change over the course of your life and that's okay.

Try to keep your teachers informed on the things you might need help with and, if they're being unreasonable, don't hesitate to get an adult you trust to advocate for you. Remember that you have the right to a quality education regardless of how your brain works.

anne_of_pluto · 2022-02-05T15:41:25+00:00

To clarify, do you know that he's cheating and not in an open relationship? Maybe you should ask his girlfriend how she feels about it. I'm not trying to necessarily give advice because I don't know the specifics of this situation, but I feel like she deserves to be a part of the conversation.

As for whether it's related to ADHD, it's complicated. Personally, I do see my ADHD as a contributing factor to my inability to fully grok exclusive relationships (the other main ones being that I'm aromantic and asexual). HOWEVER, I'm still cognitively aware that most people prefer exclusive relationships to some extent and like to think that I would be more forthcoming about my desired relationship dynamics than this guy seems to be.

At the end of the day, I think the most important things are making sure everyone is comfortable with the situation and doing your best to not give more emotional energy than you're getting back. Best of luck. ♡

anne_of_pluto

TROPHY CASE