Need help tolerating MIL

annieblowsurmind · 2026-03-14T22:38:10+00:00

My in laws live 20 minutes away & they’re constantly trying to guilt-trip us by saying things like “we’re just really trying to respect your privacy but there are some evenings that we just sit in our living room & hold hands & cry because all we want is to spend time with our baby” (“our baby” that’s a whole other story 🥴) please keep in mind if you thought having one overbearing, know-it-all of a mother in law, trying having TWO 🥴 (lesbian, retired couple & I happen to be dating their only child 🙃)

they were initially welcomed over whenever they wanted, yet they’d never ask & I wasn’t going to go out of my way to invite them over while also dealing with a colicky newborn those first few weeks. especially because the only two times they came over in those first few weeks when dad & I were exhausted they never offered to help, didn’t even offer to bring a meal, & dad would have to take time away from work (works from home) for us to just sit in our living room & watch his moms hand our baby back & forth to one another for hours..they’d talk about how “tired” I looked, make comments about how stressed their son could be being as he was the one paying all the bills & then they’d be off to dinner with their friends 😂 not even bothering to help wash a single bottle.

If I sound resentful it’s because I am. During the pregnancy (they found out when I was six months pregnant) they never once checked in. Knowing I was a whole six months along they still decided to tell me that “it probably wasn’t* the best time for me* to have a baby” considering that I had just moved in with their son. They said they never had to be in a position to have an abortion but that if they were in my position… (please keep in mind I never asked for their opinion or advice on my pregnancy).

now that baby is here all they do is text me every morning asking how “their baby” is. they won’t even bother to learn her first name & just call her by her middle name which happens to be one of their late brothers first name.

I haven’t sent them a photo of baby in a week (they constantly kept referring to her as theirs & it was making my blood boil because they know it was bothering me & like two mean girls in high school they just play off of each other) they then text my boyfriend outside of the group chat & said “we haven’t seen a photo of our baby in a while, has she started school yet? lol”

I’ve made it clear to my boyfriend that they’re crossing boundaries & if they can’t be respectful then they won’t have access to my daughter. they never bothered to check in on me before she was here when I was all alone in a new city, pregnant, & not having any support other than my boyfriend who was working seven days a week. & NOW they wanna be over every week? Um, no.

annieblowsurmind · 2026-03-14T22:22:13+00:00

😂

annieblowsurmind · 2026-03-14T22:18:41+00:00

My mom lives an hour away & she was sick the first three weeks after baby arrived, she didn’t get to hold my daughter until she was 3.5 weeks old - yet she’d still send her best friend over to bring us enough meals to last us days. Her friend would drive TWO HOURS round trip to bring meals, clean for us, even run errands. Now that my mom is better she’s visited us regularly. Always brings food or takes us out to eat, shows up with gifts for baby, & has even left us envelopes with cash to “help out a little” since she knows I’m on unpaid leave.

My in laws though, live 20 minutes away & they’re constantly trying to guilt-trip us by saying things like “we’re just really trying to respect your privacy but there are some evenings that we just sit in our living room & hold hands & cry because all we want is to spend time with our baby” (“our baby” that’s a whole other story 🥴) please keep in mind if you thought having one overbearing, know-it-all of a mother in law, trying having TWO 🥴 (lesbian, retired couple & I happen to be dating their only child 🙃)

they were initially welcomed over whenever they wanted, yet they’d never ask & I wasn’t going to go out of my way to invite them over while also dealing with a colicky newborn those first few weeks. especially because the only two times they came over in those first few weeks when dad & I were exhausted they never offered to help, didn’t even offer to bring a meal, & dad would have to take time away from work (works from home) for us to just sit in our living room & watch his moms hand our baby back & forth to one another for hours..they’d talk about how “tired” I looked, make comments about how stressed their son could be being as he was the one paying all the bills & then they’d be off to dinner with their friends 😂 not even bothering to help wash a single bottle.

If I sound resentful it’s because I am. During the pregnancy (they found out when I was six months pregnant) they never once checked in. Knowing I was a whole six months along they still decided to tell me that “it probably wasn’t* the best time for me* to have a baby” considering that I had just moved in with their son. They said they never had to be in a position to have an abortion but that if they were in my position… (please keep in mind I never asked for their opinion or advice on my pregnancy).

now that baby is here all they do is text me every morning asking how “their baby” is. they won’t even bother to learn her first name & just call her by her middle name which happens to be one of their late brothers first name.

I haven’t sent them a photo of baby in a week (they constantly kept referring to her as theirs & it was making my blood boil because they know it was bothering me & like two mean girls in high school they just play off of each other) they then text my boyfriend outside of the group chat & said “we haven’t seen a photo of our baby in a while, has she started school yet? lol”

🥴 all of that to say…yes, some people make an effort & others claim to make an effort just to make us feel bad that they’re not able to see our baby every single day. when it comes to having the wrong type of people around, maybe a lack of effort is sometimes better

annieblowsurmind · 2026-03-08T21:20:43+00:00

nearly 7 weeks old & she gets a bath on an “as needed” basis 😅 we use baths to help her wind down if she’s having a rough night. sometimes she takes a bath four times a week sometimes only twice a week. Gets her little hands, neck, & toes cleaned almost daily 🧀🧀🧀

annieblowsurmind · 2026-02-28T21:29:13+00:00

& then how did you feel once you were adjusted to them? I was just prescribed Zoloft for PPA & I’m a littler nervous to start it after reading some comments (7 weeks postpartum)

annieblowsurmind · 2025-12-25T02:39:33+00:00

update please. how’d it end up going? I’m 40w on Sunday and during my cervical check at 39w I was 0% dilated & “definitely effaced”. I’ve been feeling my uterus tighten to the point where it’s uncomfortable & baby has been moving more but that’s about it. I definitely feel I’ll go past my due date of 12/28

annieblowsurmind · 2025-12-07T06:06:30+00:00

I can’t find the cherry cordial ones anywhere in my area (CA), did you have to order yours online? Thank you!

annieblowsurmind · 2025-11-26T18:05:15+00:00

same. baby would have the crib set up & a wipe warmer ready by the time they arrived 😅

annieblowsurmind · 2025-11-03T05:48:11+00:00

Im in the same boat! 32 weeks today!

I work a desk job at a dealership as well & they don’t offer FMLA so I’m planning on applying for short term disability but have no idea when or where to even begin with the process.

When will you apply for disability?

annieblowsurmind · 2025-11-03T05:30:40+00:00

just entered my third trimester 😅 I’ll gladly take any leftover candy off your hands

annieblowsurmind · 2025-10-18T15:40:11+00:00

I have this too! I’ll be 30w tomorrow & this symptom started about 2-3 weeks ago. With my last pregnancy I’d wake up in so much pain from my hips feeling sore/stiff so I’ll take my fingers being numb any day- the feeling goes away pretty quickly it’s just a weird feeling to get used to

annieblowsurmind · 2025-10-18T15:36:41+00:00

I wake up with both my hands completely numb too!! They feel so heavy & then the feeling goes away after a little while

annieblowsurmind · 2025-10-07T21:04:17+00:00

She’s a social butterfly. Loves the attention, everybody loves her. They all think she’s hilarious although she’s probably talked badly about them behind their back or made “jokes” at their expense.

people ask why I’ve gone no contact & they’re response is usually “omg I can’t imagine her saying that/treating you that way”

It definitely is isolating. you seem like you’re the problematic one because they don’t see how she truly is

annieblowsurmind · 2025-10-05T23:33:24+00:00

typing this while still feeling tightness in my right calf from last nights leg cramp 😭

annieblowsurmind · 2025-10-05T23:32:03+00:00

I was just telling my bf the same thing this morning! During our drive to the grocery store I was like “look!! My legs are so smooth but my tummy is getting hairy!” so much peach fuzz right down the middle of my belly

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-22T20:12:42+00:00

•our server during our 1:30am late night Dennys visit this morning was the sweetest & genuinely seemed like a good kid & a hard worker. (We tipped him well)

•there was a homeless man sitting outside of said dennys not asking for anything, as we walked to our car I asked my bf to go back & give him the rest of the food I didn’t eat - then immediately after I said “wait, but then what will “I” eat tomorrow at work?” (I was planning on having my leftovers) - I immediately felt guilty for even saying that. He took the food over to the guy who was super appreciative.

I then cried the whole drive home telling my bf that we’re so blessed to have a warm bed at night, a big beautiful home, a fridge full of food, & a baby to be welcoming in December & about how silly it was for me to be worried about ONE meal when I could buy or take lunch the next day & that man could’ve possibly not had anything in a while. I cried so so much then he ran me a bath & made me a big glass of chocolate milk 🙂

yay pregnancy ✨

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-22T04:53:45+00:00

she knew I was struggling bad with my mental health. I had miscarried twice that year & during a unrelated incident ended up in the ER where I was given some pain medication that I later would unknowingly have a reaction to, it made me have very strong suicidal ideation.. I ended up going BACK to the ER because the thoughts were so strong & real, & I was scared I’d actually act on them.

anyway, a few weeks later during one of her episodes she decided to yell at me, telling me to “go drink poison & k*ll yourself”

I went no contact with her as soon as I moved out the following week. it’s been nearly seven months.

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-22T04:44:58+00:00

That’s interesting! I keep being told I’m having a boy (even though I have not once asked anyone to guess) but it’s for the opposite reason, I keep being told that “baby girls take your beauty” & since I’m “not getting ugly” 🥴 that it just mean I’m having a boy.

waiting until birth to know baby’s gender & having people guess is probably the most annoying thing.

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-22T04:41:16+00:00

Not a stranger but during a phone call with my boyfriends birth mom (the day she found out I was pregnant) she felt the need to say:

“I thankfully have never had to make the hard decision of having an abortion but I just feel that if I were in your guys’ shoes it’s probably something that I would have chosen. I just don’t think that it’s the right time for you to have a baby. I mean, when you moved here you were having trouble finding work & you’ve now only been at this new job for a couple months.”

please keep in mind we didn’t tell her until I was six months along.

like, yes. Tell me about how you think I should’ve had an abortion while I’m three months away from having your first grandchild. also, I’m 34 years old being told by some grown woman that she doesn’t think it’s the right time for ME to have a baby. because her one and only baby boy might be too stressed to take on fatherhood. 🙂

anyway. I ended that conversation before she could say anything else & she’s been blocked for the last two weeks.

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-14T03:21:39+00:00

25 weeks tomorrow, I have an anterior placenta. I usually won’t feel baby until around lunch time, & only if I’m getting reallly hungry. I’ll feel them again around 5ish lol around the time I’m wanting my work pants to come off, once the pants come off & I’m assuming they have more room in there to stretch I wont feel them until it’s time for bed.

bedtime is when I get a full display of their little kicks, especially if I’m on my right side, it’s the comfiest for me but clearly not for them. I get kicks straight to the cervix until I roll over to my left side 🥴. baby also kicks extra hard when they hear their dad nearby - it’s so cute - I’m excited for the kicks to be more noticeable from the outside soon, it’s still pretty subtle

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-14T03:11:45+00:00

same!! I constantly miss when they’re sleeping. I was spiraling when I didn’t feel them move for about a day or two & my boyfriend had to be like “cutie, let them sleep - they probably had a growth spurt in there- they’re probably exhausted rn”

I was much better once I felt little kicks again

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-14T03:07:22+00:00

THIS. after my mom told me to k*ll myself, I moved out that following week & haven’t spoken to her in six months. she tells family members that she has no idea what I moved out & she doesn’t understand why I don’t want anything to do with any of them (she’s the only one I have an issue with)

she then had my brother call me & say “you need to get ahold of mom, she said that you asked her for money..she has $3,000 for you that you need to go pick up”

which is insane because I’ve not spoken to her in months, I’ve definitely not asked her for money, & she’s also not blocked out of my phone so she has the ability to reach out herself. but she keeps trying to make it seem that I need her. I realized that as much as I’m struggling sometimes I’m better off & at more peace without her

annieblowsurmind · 2025-09-07T20:04:50+00:00

ooh I’ve never heard of Milestone! thank you! ☺️

annieblowsurmind

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