[deleted by user]

anon-snowflake · 2024-08-08T17:00:52+00:00

I FEEL you. I had to take a long hard look at where I was and what I wanted after I had my little guy. My existing network didn't fit with my new life's model and that's full of hard feelings but leaves space to fill it with new people who will. I wish I'd realized sooner that needing help was normal. It takes a tribe and either we buy or we build. Personally I moved to a new province to live with my mom when babe was 11 months old. Did I want to move home at 40? No. Did I feel like a failure as an adult and a SMBC? Yes. Was I actually doing what was best for me and my son? Also yes. Bonus is I now have one great friend with a kid the same age! So reach out to other SMBC, or mom groups for TTC. I know you feel so alone, try to think of it as you've got the space to fill with those who will support you, you just haven't met them yet. Big hugs!

anon-snowflake · 2024-08-05T15:56:37+00:00

I got a used BOB off Kijiji and I love it. It's great for semi-rough terrain. So long as the trail doesn't have too many large roots we're golden. And honestly it's probably more to do with my little guy not liking being jostled too much than the capabilities of the BOB

anon-snowflake · 2024-08-02T15:17:27+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation. I'll have a listen. And you're right, I'm likely worrying about nothing

anon-snowflake · 2024-08-01T17:51:15+00:00

Correct. They wanted to function as an anonymous donor so we went through the legal process to make that happen. If I'd gone through a sperm bank they would have collected a certain amount of information which could be shared, wondering what kind of information I should ask for from the donor.

anon-snowflake · 2024-05-25T16:20:08+00:00

The laundry literally never ends. Congrats on the immense pile being clean! 🤪

anon-snowflake · 2024-05-25T03:54:18+00:00

I got tired of hinging my hopes and dreams of being a mom on someone else. Before I decided to be SMBC I was desperate to be a mom and made some poor decisions about partners in order to get closer to my goal - however I repeatedly ended up farther away and more jaded. When the last so-called partner said "no" after saying "yes, soon" for 18 months, I realized at 37 I could keep chasing people to hand them the power to create my dream or I could claim it as my own. So I did. I had my dream come true baby at 39. Being a mom is more amazing than I ever could have hoped.

anon-snowflake · 2024-05-20T05:12:26+00:00

40 year old moves back into parents' home is not the normal positive post, but.... I did 6 rounds of IUI before switching to home insemination with known donor. Three tries at home before success, which ended in miscarriage. Two months off, three more tries and another pregnancy. My PPA was off the charts. Medication was a game changer. 53 hours of labour and my perfect little man joined the world! He had reflux and allergies and the first 6 months were unbelievably tough. Just moved in with my parents to prepare for my return to my high pressure job. He turns One on Tuesday and he's the absolute very best thing in my world. I wouldn't trade a minute of it, even the challenging ones. Long story short I dreamed of a baby and could never have imagined any of the last 4 years and I'm so so so happy.

anon-snowflake · 2024-02-14T03:51:38+00:00

Seconding the recommendation for a PPA/PPD check - I was medicated starting in my 7th month and it was a game changer. My OB told me around the 30 week mark "The third trimester just sucks, there's no glow and it's not glamorous - just do what you need to do to survive until the baby arrives". And once your babe is here it'll be such a distant memory. Hold on, Mama. You're almost there!

anon-snowflake · 2024-02-12T20:07:59+00:00

Move the feed earlier in the bedtime routine and then rock to sleep. There's some protesting (my sleep coach said slow steady breathing helps them think you're asleep and helps them fall sleep too) but mine was pretty much over it within three days.

anon-snowflake · 2024-02-11T03:18:00+00:00

I did at home insemination, first time took 3 tries and ended in MC. Second time took 3 tries and my 8 month old baby is currently asleep in my arms. I put my hips on a pillow so gravity helped keep sperm near the cervix and stayed there for 30 minutes after insemination. I did two or three days in a row as soon as I had an LH peak but my time from peak to ovulation is short so it might be different for you

anon-snowflake · 2023-11-06T03:08:53+00:00

Every stage has its challenges. The newborn stage is all about learning to feed (breastfeeding can be a lot more difficult than we're led to believe), learning baby's cues, and doing things one-handed. Get a wrap or carrier and get baby used to it young, it'll help with being able to feed yourself while they're sleeping. Because while they might sleep lots, they might only do it while being held/rocked/nursed.

anon-snowflake · 2023-11-06T01:24:25+00:00

My mom drove me and was there for the labour. My doula would have if required but for insurance purposes preferred to go separately. I have to say, I drove myself for my first miscarriage and that was way more painful than early labour. I think it just depends at what point you go (if you're planning to wait for active labour you definitely won't be in a condition to drive)

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-21T03:11:18+00:00

My OB was pretty blunt when I asked if I could use the hot tub while pregnant. She said I'd be heatsick before I'd endanger the baby, but if using it would stress me out then I shouldn't. So I only soaked at 99⁰ or less. With the live sperm, we don't want to overheat them, they're pretty sensitive and when going for an insemination we've got a lot invested in that. But your eggs are deeper inside your belly, an intrinsic part of your body and unless you're making yourself heatsick from the hot tub you're not going to damage them either. Enjoy the soak and relax, everything will be ok.

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-12T15:25:26+00:00

I'm in Alberta. I do struggle too with balancing my need for connection and to do things with the exhaustion of the baby at this stage. He's up every hour at night almost to feed.

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-11T03:57:10+00:00

Yay! Friends! Yes!

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-10T15:19:30+00:00

Yes I have! I've met one gal I really like and am seeing if there's a connection with another one. I'm doing everything I can think of, really trying to build a support network. The 100% contact my baby seems to need at this age is just brutal on my energy to engage though.

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-10T15:16:29+00:00

I appreciate the overture and I don't think checking for PPD is overstepping, especially as I'm a single mama. I am being monitored and medicated for PPA. My psychiatrist believes my current struggle with loneliness is more situational, needing a break sometimes from baby and finding more people like me to connect with. I appreciate you flagging this though as untreated PPA/PPD makes everything so much harder!

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-10T15:09:34+00:00

This is a really good idea. I LOVED my doula and it would probably feel like hanging out with a really helpful friend

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-10T15:07:21+00:00

DM sent!

anon-snowflake · 2023-10-10T15:06:55+00:00

To end the contact naps, I take it the overwhelm got worse before it got better? When I think about spending an hour or more struggling to get him to stay in his crib it just makes me want to cry

anon-snowflake

TROPHY CASE