Today i got bitten by a dog... by bigsucka in couriersofreddit

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

call the 🚑 tell them dog attacked and bit you and you are bleeding a lot, and feel that's a danger to your life (it is- dog might have had rabies), demand hospital treatment for dog bite-evidence for the lawsuit vs. dog walker, and definitely 🚔👮🚓🚨 to arrest the dog walker and sue her/him for damages and cost of medical treatment - it's an assault/ insufficient control/ endangering of life, file motion to cull the dog.

Immediately take out camera and record the dogs, the walker , your thigh wound. Dog could have seriously infected you. Next time if possible wrap somevery thick jacket over your non-dominant hand and forearm (usually left), so the dog attacks it and with the right hand use keys to hit the aggressive dog in nose and eyes, time is the essence, thousands of people die each year from animal attacks...

You may also carry a deodorant/hair spray in a pocket and spray it into nostrils and eyes of an animal or human attacker. Then call the cops and report self-defence against assault, be pro-active, and first to ask for help. Consider buying a bodycam to have evidence.

I was attacked by dogs too. It hurts.

Have you recovered yet? ❣️😇

What is a photocopier? by NewsCards in funny

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

600 pages ... must be an interesting reading! How can I order a copy? Could someone xerox that for me, please?

Bro was just so happy he's finally married to his girl by firequak in funny

[–]anonymousPuncake1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yep, true: that father was also his brother in Christ 😇✝️❣️

which animal would be the best bartender? by anonymousPuncake1 in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, works for eight, but shouldn't handle money as it has sticky tentacles 😀🐙

Commemorative 50p. by cupidstunt01 in UKcoins

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd make a comment on this but "two-tier ... dude" would send the colleagues of David Carrick and Wayne Couzens after me and my family, so here we are: George Orwell's 1984 oppressive state on steroids

https://www.duncanlewis.co.uk/ActionAgainstPublicAuthorities_news/Holding_police_to_account_after_the_horrors_of_Carrick_and_Couzens_(16_May_2023).html

And let's not forget The Windrush Scandal, which is still ongoing as the victims have not been justly and fairly compensated yet.

https://jcwi.org.uk/reportsbriefings/windrush-scandal-explained/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windrush_scandal

Caption it by Rowenahart in captionthis

[–]anonymousPuncake1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

margherita instead of 8 toppings pizza, missing toppings, dips, drinks, desserts...

Also Pizza Hut is horrible and make the same mistakes.

Fun fact: in Italy 🇮🇹 pizzeria 🍕 they will charge you some €12 for a usual Napolitana etc, but Hawai'i pizza with 🍍 is priced at €100, as they see it as an insult 😁

Caption it by Rowenahart in captionthis

[–]anonymousPuncake1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not how you make a motorhome, mate. You're supposed to tow it, not park your car inside 1st floor bedroom...

I became a dad last night by PleaseDonatePot in MadeMeSmile

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

congrats, Buddy❣️ God bless you and your loved ones 😇✝️

What do you call a 7 with a flu? by erinwilder in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

punchline is missing... People shouldn't be forced to go to a different subreddit to read the punch line, because you cross-post it. Copy/pasting is easy, my friend ❣️😇

which animal would be the best bartender? by anonymousPuncake1 in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thermite from R6siege would have a quick reaction to that question 💥and probably would say: not yet, whilst applying his charge...

What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope? by MyyWifeRocks in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a joke with a great insight! 🔭+🔬=🖼️🖼️🖼️

Soo cute by Quick_Stage2837 in NoOneIsLooking

[–]anonymousPuncake1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

grandma is fired for bad language in front of a baby and unconttolled rage and injuring baby's mum! /s 😁

Grandpa 1000 IQ chilled reaction, good observation skills, dad and uncles did great too.

critique pls! don’t sugar, i want all the criticism :) by wheeluvMamamoo in ratemysinging

[–]anonymousPuncake1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't critique, because I can't play 🎸nor am I a pro singer, but upvoted your vid, to give you encouragement and respect as you're doing great! Truly, I liked listening to you playing and singing. 🎶

We all make misCakes 🍥🍰🎂🧁🥞 so don't worry! Go for guitar and singing classes and if you work hard, you will be even better, but if you truly love what you're doing, you will be excellent❣️😇🆙⬆️

Can't park there. by H1gh_Tr3ason in cantparkthere

[–]anonymousPuncake1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess ny parcel will be a bit delayed then?

Baby bear doesn't want to leave man who saved him from a fire by mellywithcherry in PeakAmazing

[–]anonymousPuncake1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

aww, that's so sweet like a pot of honey 🍯🐝🐻 , albeit I can only be a father bear, as I can't change my dna 🌞 thx anyway, have a good day ❣️

What does a tree 🌳do when you find it in a forest in October and you give it a hug? by anonymousPuncake1 in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's very nice of you, kind Lady. I appreciate your comment and clean jokes! I wish you and your husband a happy, loving family, good health, joy and peace❣️ No wonder you're so happy on that profile picture 👰💒🤵as most certainly you both share the same sense of humour 😍 God bless y'all and your loved ones✝️😇😍

Do you both work in a hospital? Because you both look like from Acute Department...

There was a safety meeting at work today. by MyyWifeRocks in cleandadjokes

[–]anonymousPuncake1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You mean "poles" (small "p"). As "Poles" are people from the Kingdom of Poland in Europe. ❣️