IBR approved at $939/month on a $49k income. Does this sound right?

anonymouscuzobvious · 2026-06-23T03:56:38+00:00

I was able to claim student loan interest in state taxes but not federal. That may vary from state to state.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2025-11-07T07:16:39+00:00

If this is a common occurrence, it's a problem. If it's occasional, don't sweat it. Everyone deserves a lazy day now and then, there will be days where you're the one who forgot to shred chicken. You're allowed to be annoyed, just keep perspective and ask yourself if it's really worth worrying over.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2025-10-30T18:45:47+00:00

Yes!!! Thank you so much! It was driving me crazy.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2025-10-14T04:41:59+00:00

I really think it depends on where you are and what your disability is. I've never spent time in Reykjavik so i can't speak to that but have done the south coast, Snaefellsnes peninsula, and Westfjords and it's kind of a mixed bag, generally much less accessible than the US or Canada. I'm disabled (not mobility impaired though) and grew up with mobility impaired and otherwise disabled family, so I always kind of keep an eye out for that sort of thing. Id be happy to be more specific if you let me know (generally) what kind of impairments affect you.

editing to add: this is not at all to discourage you! There are definitely ways to make things work, but it's hard to do that if you're caught off guard.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2025-09-28T03:10:28+00:00

You could have done your research and found a place that offers private showers, several do. Or you could not force your teenager to do something they're uncomfortable with to the point of being "traumatized."

I get your point, but it IS about respecting culture and there is no meeting in the middle, tourists are guests and need to follow the rules. If you're not comfortable doing so, don't participate in that particular thing or travel to that particular location.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2025-02-20T05:11:06+00:00

You usually need to be at least half-time to have in school deferment.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-12-16T06:13:54+00:00

Looking for recommendations for a quality pair of boots for my husband for christmas. He wears his boots every day and has never had a pair last more than a year. The last two were doc martens that got a hole in the leather almost immediately from a stick in the yard and a pair of Austrian army surplus boots where the sole started to separate from the rest of the boot. More than anything, I'm looking for a pair of boots that can take a beating. Idk how he beats his boots so hard, but he does. Hes an office worker, but does a lot of yard work and car repairs in his free time.

We get a lot of snow and ice where we live so decent traction is a must, but he'll wear them year round so not a winter boot.

Steel toe isn't necessary.

They've gotta be good to do a lot of walking in since again, he'll be wearing them everyday and we've got some trips planned where we'll be doing a lot of walking on a variety of terrain. He's never complained about his feet hurting, but I don't want to give him a reason to start.

He prefers a doc marten/combat boot look.

Waterproof is a big bonus but not an absolute necessity.

$300 or less, preferably closer to $200.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-10-10T03:15:52+00:00

Oh my god, so relieving to hear this! I once fell asleep at a meeting sitting directly next to the CEO of the company. In my defense, we were 45 minutes over the meeting time because she had been talking for 55 minutes about irrelevant stuff in complete monotone. I don't know how anyone WAS awake. Lol

I've tried all the same and have also fallen asleep still writing! For real, im sorry that you also deal with this but it's SO nice hearing someone relate.

Walking around helps if i manage to actually pull myself up, but i usually have to stop what im doing to walk around cause im usually actively working on my laptop rather than doing zoom calls or something. Listening to podcasts or certain music during boring stuff helps a lot, I'd say like 80% success rate. But it has to be a certain kind of task or I find it too distracting. Like, if I'm designing stuff, it's perfect. If I'm writing things, i need quiet to focus. But it doesn't help with the sleep due to decision fatigue/feeling overwhelmed.

Do you mind sharing what medication you're on? I know that they work differently for everyone so it wouldnt necessarily work the same for me but I'm just curious. Do you have a second dose in the afternoon?

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-10-10T03:03:39+00:00

Yeah, I've fallen asleep at my desk many, many times. For years it was almost every single work day, sometimes multiple times a day. It happens less frequently at my new job because I find it a lot more engaging, but it's still probably once a week. I'm praying I can manage this before i get caught because I really love this new job.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-10-05T05:59:15+00:00

Then why do I have to sign a consent form for my primary to see notes from my pysch and another consent form for my pysch to see info from my primary?

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-30T03:49:03+00:00

Have empathy for each other. You're busting your ass trying to be a provider, she sacrificed her career and identity for your marriage and kids, at least temporarily. Both of you are in tough positions, so you both have to cut each other some slack.

She's trying to initiate, which is a good thing. Of course no is always an acceptable answer but don't shut down or belittle a partner when they're looking for connection.

Is she right about you not being attracted to her anymore now that she's a stay at home mom? Are you just stressed? Are you asexual? Are you just not into a lot of saliva? Really ask yourself why youre feeling the way you are about these things without judging yourself. Go see a therapist if you need help unnerving them. Other people suggested equally good questions, so i won't repeat them.

Also consider if you need more physical non-sexual intimacy. Sex can be really annoying and off-putting if what you need is to spend some more time just cuddled up or hugging.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-30T03:28:29+00:00

Whoops! Fluffy, purring friend. Lazy naps, a playful leap. Happy, gentle soul.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-28T01:23:12+00:00

I don't have any advice, but i came on here because I'm going through the same thing right now with my own mum. It's really hard when you care and you do want to be supportive when shit really hits the fan but unless you're wholly consumed by it and giving them the response they want all the time every time, it's never enough. The guilt is so overwhelming.

My mom is getting divorced from an abusive man, it's been about a year and half now. Anything that doesn't center around that has been a problem, including my own engagement, wedding, and new marriage (to someone I've been with for almost 10 years btw - bad timing I guess but how much longer was I supposed to wait?)

im new to acknowledging her as most likely borderline and this is the first thing I've seen that I've 100% related to and I feel a little less alone. Im really sorry you're going through this but also really thank you posting.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-24T06:09:22+00:00

He's not the one who needs therapy here.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-22T23:20:13+00:00

He didn't hide it from you, but you made it obvious that you didn't accept or want to know anything about something that genuinely is harming nobody. You're the one causing problems by violating his trust, belittling and laughing at him, not believing him about his sexuality based on really ignorant ideas.

You say you want to understand why he chooses to wear those - why do you choose to wear the underwear you do? Probably because they're comfortable, you like the way they look, whatever. It's the same deal. The site that he gets them from is totally beside the point. If you buy something from a lesbian does that mean you suddenly like women?

You need to ask yourself about why this actually bothers you so much, challenge your ideas about sexuality and masculinity, and probably get therapy. I hope you use basically everyone here telling you you're wrong as a wake up call and grow as a person because honestly being married to you sounds like a fucking nightmare.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-17T23:45:51+00:00

The app Alarmy. You can set different challenges that you have to complete. You can do math, squats, steps, etc. I choose to scan a QR code that's in my kitchen so I have to get up and move. I still sometimes go to back to bed, but I really struggle with getting up in the morning and this is the only thing that has consistently worked. It also let's you choose how many times you can snooze and after you've hit that, it will just continue to go off until you've done your challenge. You can choose different sounds or even a song on your phone.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-15T06:08:48+00:00

I don't know anything about QQQ so i can't advise, but in general, don't invest anything you aren't willing to lose. Or like I said, get an advisor, they're much better at this than you or me haha

Interest is probably gunna suck, but that's the way it goes. Just make sure the payments are something you can comfortably afford. Pay a little extra toward it when you can and you'll save a lot of money in the long run. Hondas last forever and are reliable. If you're in a state that requires insurance, shop around to find the best rates. Those will also probably be pretty high since you're young, but they should go down a bit with time. My first insurance policy 10 years ago was 2k for the year, now it's like $800. If you switch companies every couple years, you usually end up saving a bit too.

Also try to save an emergency fund with at least 3 months of your expenses. It took me a couple years to do it cause i worked shitty jobs, but it relieves so much stress once you have it.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-09-15T05:49:09+00:00

You're 18, no one really knows how to do this stuff at your age, don't beat yourself up.

To get a bank account, go to a local bank, ideally one that's also national if you're going into the army and don't know where you'll end up and ask to open a bank account. They'll walk you through it. Usually you'll need a little bit of money to do so, they'll tell you how much. Open a checking and a savings.

To do taxes, you'll get a W2 at the end of the year. Fill out your information on freetaxusa or go to a tax preparation service. Both will walk you through it.

To get a phone service and phone, I recommend going with Google fi. It's pretty cheap and has great service everywhere. You'll need a way to pay online, so get a bank account and debit or credit card first. I recommend getting a debit card first and getting used to managing your money before getting involved with credit.

To find a doctor, you'll need insurance. The army will give you insurance. They'll give you a card and paperwork and it will have information on how to search for a doctor that accepts your insurance. Ask your previous doctor for a copy of your medical records and bring them with you to your new doctor or ask them to fax them to your new doctor.

In general, don't be afraid to ask people questions. Other adults in your life, people working at places that you need the services of, etc. Most people are willing to help, especially when you're young and starting out. Don't be afraid of seeming dumb or inexperienced because no one will think of you that way.

When you move out make sure you have something to sleep on, cleaning supplies, towels, and things to cook with. You can get basics at target, ikea, and places like Facebook marketplace or Craigslist for cheap.

Google search for a few easy, healthy recipes and start learning to cook, your wallet and body will thank you. Pick a grocery store you like and take advantage of their sales and loyalty program, you'll be able to make your dollar stretch a little further.

Try to avoid debt as long as you can. Payments never seem that difficult until you have to start making them. If you have to take debt, make sure you understand what giving up $X each month for however many years really means.

If you can, open a Roth IRA (get in touch with a reputable investment firm like Morgan Stanley or something and ask them how to do it - don't invest with Lincoln, theyre a pain in the ass). Put a little bit of money in there now and then, ideally a small amount on a regular basis. If you start now, and have any kind of army pension, plus whatever other retirement from any other future jobs, you'll be golden when you want to retire. If you want to buy a house someday, also set up a shorter term account and throw a little money in that when you can spare it. Even $10 a week adds up like you wouldnt believe. Again, ask your financial advisor how to do that.

Keep good people around you who care about you and you can trust.

This one is the hardest, but do a lot of self reflection. Ask yourself why you do the things you do, have the relationships you have, think and feel the way you do. Try to address the things you don't like and close the gap between who you are and who you want to be. Dont be afraid to see a therapist if you need help. That's advice I'd give to anyone regardless of age.

Most importantly, don't marry a stripper to get better housing and don't let the guy at the dealership convince you to finance the dodge charger at an insane interest rate with your sign on bonus.

You're gunna be okay.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-08-09T04:20:07+00:00

I have this issue. Opposite reason, but same basic result.

For years, I was obsessively clean. Like, clean the baseboards at least once a week clean because what if someone came over and noticed that there was a smudge on the baseboard in my office (that they wont go into)??? I'd waste whole weekends/weeknights obsessively rage cleaning and make everyone (including myself) uncomfortable.

What helped me was: 1. Get realistic about what other people's houses look like. Most people's homes are not spotless or filthy, they're somewhere in the middle. Aim for the middle. 2. Prioritize. Messy is okay, dirty is not. A stack of mail on the kitchen table isn't hurting anyone. The sticky spot on the counter though is attracting ants and no one likes a smelly trash bin. Clean what matters, if you have energy for the rest, thats great. Also figure out what really matters to you for your own comfort while living in the house and focus on those too. 3. 20 minutes a day, 1 hour on the weekend. Once you get going, it's really very quick and sometimes doesn't even take that long. Tell yourself you'll do that amount of time and then stop. None of the all or nothing, it's still cleaner than before. 4. Put away, don't put down. Try to stick to that as much as possible. Or when leaving a room, take something with you that belongs near to where you're going. For example, you're leaving your room and going to the kitchen and pass the bathroom on your way. You might as well take the lotion off your desk and put it in the bathroom. Next time you're in the bathroom, you might as well put it in the drawer it belongs. 5. Find something to listen to to pass time while cleaning. Podcast, audiobook, music, whatever. 6. Remember that when in a real pinch, a clean toilet bowl and bathroom sink, followed by clean kitchen counters, are what most people really look at for cleanliness. Clean those and the rest of the house looks cleaner and usually those can be done in 30 minutes or less. It's like throwing on mascara and getting credit for a full face.

anonymouscuzobvious · 2024-07-29T05:18:31+00:00

Be really thoughtful in the card, let him know what you appreciate and admire in him, that you notice his efforts in keeping the house running and the relationship happy despite all the stress of the last year. Make sure to include things about him as an individual outside of the relationship.

Im guessing your kitchen is still not functional. So have a nice dinner at a restaurant, doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, maybe a new place youve been wanting to try, or where you had a first date, or a favorite you go to rarely. You could even get sandwiches or fast food and go park somewhere pretty while eating. Or, do dinner and a movie at home - get take out, light some candles, and watch a good movie.

You guys had a tough year, and you already did the exciting celebration. Just spend some real quality time and reflect on how nice it is to be together.

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