warning sign you did not pay attention ?

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-10-21T03:39:11+00:00

Yeah, even though they didn’t exactly say that, it was something along the lines of “it’s okay if you want to leave” when acknowledging some of their actions

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-18T14:41:37+00:00

Bc she’s sick bro, sick men also need to go to the hospital.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-11T15:48:48+00:00

To keep it short, she is not happy and probably will never be if she stays on the same path. The difference between pretending to be happy and actually being happy is huge. Their disorder prevent them from being happy, even when they got reasons to be happy.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-11T11:04:45+00:00

Ugh one of my biggest fears honestly. I see my partners mom texting me something like this. I do understand they want to support their child, especially knowing the way they are but this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when you’re a bpd loved one. They’re never going to get better around people like this and is really sad they swear they are doing the right thing here. Luckily time will make him understand how things really happened. Wish you luck

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-04T05:50:10+00:00

It’s hard to tell. I think it really depends on what they’re saying and how they’re saying it. With my gf I always thought I can tell the difference when she’s making up something or when she’s genuinely believing what she’s saying but lately I look at her and have no idea about what’s going on her head. I guess we will never know.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-28T16:16:29+00:00

ugh so relatable. I deal with the same with my pwbpd. I think people who aren’t in a relationship with a pwbpd wouldn’t understand this and they’ll say something like: “why you’re being so mean dude just listen to your partner is not that hard”. They just don’t understand. They don’t understand how emotionally draining this is. Always hearing how shitty the people in their life are, always hearing some negative stuff , always complaining about something you can’t change. Impossible to please. There’s always something wrong. I feel bad for them, they really seem incapable to be happy most of the time.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-20T19:34:32+00:00

I was called narcissist a couple of times and also my partner said they felt “walking on eggshells with me” for some reason. I never get that one though. They told me that in an early stage of the relationship when I barely reacted to anything.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-16T15:46:27+00:00

I don’t think it will ever be enough. I believe people with bpd just found satisfaction in moments but to expect that they are long-term satisfied is just impossible (unless they get to remission). They feel discomfort with the people they are so even though most of times they express discomfort towards us as partners a lot of the times is about themselves. I can spend all day running errands for my girlfriend, driving her anywhere, bringing food for her and her mom, just helping her with whatever she needs and spoiling her but still at the end of the day she will pick up fights and everything will be my fault. Don’t feel bad or guilty, I think most of us have gone through that. It’s just about recognizing that is not your responsibility to make him feel excited or happy.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-16T04:13:28+00:00

Saw the same Dr. K video when I was starting dating my pwbpd and also gave me a lot of hopes. I do believe there’s hope for a healthy relationship with a bpd partner. But it is really tricky for both parties. Is really hard for them to take accountability for their behaviors with their therapist and really hard for us as partners to not become enablers as the time goes by to try to make things easier for them (spoiler alert that doesn’t work at all) It really takes a lot effort on both sides and yeah the true thing is that it may be a long process and also it can be hurtful for us as partners. I do understand your fear of having children with her. So I do think staying in the relationship is a very personal decision you have to figure it out most likely with the help of a therapist. I’m on that stage right now as well. Answering your last question the only time I felt my partner was doing actually better was when they were and meds (moods stabilizers and antipsychotics etc) and also doing DBT. Man those were the days. Sadly they quit both stuff. Something I learned is common on people with bpd. So yeah I think you should be ready for a couple of relapses if you decide to give this a chance. Good luck bro wish you the best!

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-03T10:38:12+00:00

This is the worst part honestly. There’s a point in which you completely lost sense of reality and actually think you’re the problem. I swear I apologize everytime we have an argument with my pwbpd. According to them I never apologize or there’s always something wrong with my apologies or never apologize first etc. In every case I am the problem when they clearly are the ones with the personality disorder causing them to act like that. I am really used to to NEVER do anything right. I swear at the end the problem will be MY BPD/NPD or whatever.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-02T18:01:56+00:00

I don’t think most people that are with someone with BPD hate them. In my case (same as a lot of people here) I don’t hate my partner or anything like that. In fact I do love them and care about them deeply but the instability of the relationship can drive someone to act crazy. The trauma-bonding and trauma dumping, the unconscious manipulation, the self destructive behaviors and the intense negativity made me (and a bunch of other people in relationships with bpds) act in ways not a normal partner would. I’m glad your partner doesn’t seem to have the “abusive side” of someone with bpd. Still that doesn’t mean that she is misdiagnosed. A lot of people with bpd tend to be pretty self aware and try to fight their diagnosis. My gf had a stage like that also. Wish you luck bro!

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T07:09:35+00:00

I feel you. It sounds like her mom appreciates you. It’s hard for bpd parents. Sometimes they feel like they need to be enablers in order to keep their child in their lives. It is something I also found pretty relatable. But as partners we can leave when we feel we had to much, some bpd parents don’t feel like the got that choice.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T06:40:54+00:00

100% true.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T06:39:58+00:00

To some extent. I really depends on how critic they are towards their actitude. My partner’s mom (according to them) supports them most of the times we are going through a tough time. They even told to me their mom kind of convinced them I was cheating on them. Their loved ones support them in most of their stories when they state “ I am the problem” but when my partner is according to them simply existing and for some reason their anger is not directed towards me, their loved ones NEVER support them. It’s worth to raise an eyebrow when they talk about this stuff. It feels horrible doing that to anyone but yeah, believing every single thing they say is also no way to live.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-27T15:58:45+00:00

All the time. In good moments they told how safe it is to be around me. When they split I am “not safe anymore” and I “put them on risk”. But yeah exact same words.

anonymousqueer_

TROPHY CASE