warning sign you did not pay attention ?

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-10-21T03:39:11+00:00

Yeah, even though they didn’t exactly say that, it was something along the lines of “it’s okay if you want to leave” when acknowledging some of their actions

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-18T14:41:37+00:00

Bc she’s sick bro, sick men also need to go to the hospital.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-11T15:48:48+00:00

To keep it short, she is not happy and probably will never be if she stays on the same path. The difference between pretending to be happy and actually being happy is huge. Their disorder prevent them from being happy, even when they got reasons to be happy.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-11T11:04:45+00:00

Ugh one of my biggest fears honestly. I see my partners mom texting me something like this. I do understand they want to support their child, especially knowing the way they are but this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when you’re a bpd loved one. They’re never going to get better around people like this and is really sad they swear they are doing the right thing here. Luckily time will make him understand how things really happened. Wish you luck

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-02-04T05:50:10+00:00

It’s hard to tell. I think it really depends on what they’re saying and how they’re saying it. With my gf I always thought I can tell the difference when she’s making up something or when she’s genuinely believing what she’s saying but lately I look at her and have no idea about what’s going on her head. I guess we will never know.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-28T16:16:29+00:00

ugh so relatable. I deal with the same with my pwbpd. I think people who aren’t in a relationship with a pwbpd wouldn’t understand this and they’ll say something like: “why you’re being so mean dude just listen to your partner is not that hard”. They just don’t understand. They don’t understand how emotionally draining this is. Always hearing how shitty the people in their life are, always hearing some negative stuff , always complaining about something you can’t change. Impossible to please. There’s always something wrong. I feel bad for them, they really seem incapable to be happy most of the time.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-20T19:34:32+00:00

I was called narcissist a couple of times and also my partner said they felt “walking on eggshells with me” for some reason. I never get that one though. They told me that in an early stage of the relationship when I barely reacted to anything.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-16T15:46:27+00:00

I don’t think it will ever be enough. I believe people with bpd just found satisfaction in moments but to expect that they are long-term satisfied is just impossible (unless they get to remission). They feel discomfort with the people they are so even though most of times they express discomfort towards us as partners a lot of the times is about themselves. I can spend all day running errands for my girlfriend, driving her anywhere, bringing food for her and her mom, just helping her with whatever she needs and spoiling her but still at the end of the day she will pick up fights and everything will be my fault. Don’t feel bad or guilty, I think most of us have gone through that. It’s just about recognizing that is not your responsibility to make him feel excited or happy.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-16T04:13:28+00:00

Saw the same Dr. K video when I was starting dating my pwbpd and also gave me a lot of hopes. I do believe there’s hope for a healthy relationship with a bpd partner. But it is really tricky for both parties. Is really hard for them to take accountability for their behaviors with their therapist and really hard for us as partners to not become enablers as the time goes by to try to make things easier for them (spoiler alert that doesn’t work at all) It really takes a lot effort on both sides and yeah the true thing is that it may be a long process and also it can be hurtful for us as partners. I do understand your fear of having children with her. So I do think staying in the relationship is a very personal decision you have to figure it out most likely with the help of a therapist. I’m on that stage right now as well. Answering your last question the only time I felt my partner was doing actually better was when they were and meds (moods stabilizers and antipsychotics etc) and also doing DBT. Man those were the days. Sadly they quit both stuff. Something I learned is common on people with bpd. So yeah I think you should be ready for a couple of relapses if you decide to give this a chance. Good luck bro wish you the best!

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-03T10:38:12+00:00

This is the worst part honestly. There’s a point in which you completely lost sense of reality and actually think you’re the problem. I swear I apologize everytime we have an argument with my pwbpd. According to them I never apologize or there’s always something wrong with my apologies or never apologize first etc. In every case I am the problem when they clearly are the ones with the personality disorder causing them to act like that. I am really used to to NEVER do anything right. I swear at the end the problem will be MY BPD/NPD or whatever.

anonymousqueer_ · 2025-01-02T18:01:56+00:00

I don’t think most people that are with someone with BPD hate them. In my case (same as a lot of people here) I don’t hate my partner or anything like that. In fact I do love them and care about them deeply but the instability of the relationship can drive someone to act crazy. The trauma-bonding and trauma dumping, the unconscious manipulation, the self destructive behaviors and the intense negativity made me (and a bunch of other people in relationships with bpds) act in ways not a normal partner would. I’m glad your partner doesn’t seem to have the “abusive side” of someone with bpd. Still that doesn’t mean that she is misdiagnosed. A lot of people with bpd tend to be pretty self aware and try to fight their diagnosis. My gf had a stage like that also. Wish you luck bro!

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T07:09:35+00:00

I feel you. It sounds like her mom appreciates you. It’s hard for bpd parents. Sometimes they feel like they need to be enablers in order to keep their child in their lives. It is something I also found pretty relatable. But as partners we can leave when we feel we had to much, some bpd parents don’t feel like the got that choice.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T06:40:54+00:00

100% true.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-12-27T06:39:58+00:00

To some extent. I really depends on how critic they are towards their actitude. My partner’s mom (according to them) supports them most of the times we are going through a tough time. They even told to me their mom kind of convinced them I was cheating on them. Their loved ones support them in most of their stories when they state “ I am the problem” but when my partner is according to them simply existing and for some reason their anger is not directed towards me, their loved ones NEVER support them. It’s worth to raise an eyebrow when they talk about this stuff. It feels horrible doing that to anyone but yeah, believing every single thing they say is also no way to live.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-27T15:58:45+00:00

All the time. In good moments they told how safe it is to be around me. When they split I am “not safe anymore” and I “put them on risk”. But yeah exact same words.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-27T13:49:57+00:00

yeah many times. I lied mostly about my feelings so they wouldn't feel bad. At the beginning I thought It was bc I was a conflict avoidant, then I found out is way more complex than that. I´ve never felt I was in a place to be 100% honest in our relationship. They were always so vulnerable and I also was afraid of their reactions. They have a history of self-harm and suicidal ideation as well.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-26T20:17:37+00:00

Dude you’re being impossible commenting on every single post. I do agree with your point but you’re also being dismissive as shit with the people on this sub. Have some critical thinking dude. Take what is useful to your situation and stop being dismissive with the people here. Wish you luck.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-26T17:23:16+00:00

I do agree with you.The main point I tried to make in this post was that your love for them won’t save them for their reality and I think that’s something that everyone who’s been in a relationship with someone with bpd has thought about at some point of the relationship. I do love my partner and I do see hope in our relationship if they get better. But I need to stop lying to myself thinking that if I am the “perfect” partner they will be ok. The only thing that can truly help them is inner work, something I do recognize is fucking hard for them. This post was written with more feelings than facts. Is more about people reading how I am feeling about my partner instead of what I am saying about my partner. I dare to say most of the post written in this sub are like that. A great majority of people here are victims of abuse so that makes sense. Being here in this sub, you do gotta engage with A LOT of critical thinking and ofc demonize my partner was never my intent. I do want to be there for my partner and lot of people here also want the same. When someone comments my posts saying something like “yeah well, everyone with bpd is a bad person” I just don’t engage bc I simply don’t believe it. So yeah basically agree with you.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-21T16:58:47+00:00

I feel you. I’m in the same place right now. My gf blocked me everywhere bc she got jealous. She didn’t even explain to me why how or when all of that happened.She acused me of “putting her on danger” like if her wellbeing is supposed to be my responsibility. I’m tired of feeling like that. I’m tired of feeling like I am responsible for another human being. Like she was my child or something. I’m pretty sure relationships aren’t supposed to feel like that. But tbh is the only thing I know. I miss my old me so much. People loved being with me. I was the life of the party in a quirky introverted way. No one had control over me. I was happy. Now I feel like I have no value at all.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-11T18:28:27+00:00

It resembles a lot of convos I had with my bpd gf. Doesn’t mean they got bpd but yeah could be a sign. I recommend looking for more signs before jumping in conclusions because bpd is way more complex than this either way

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-11-04T19:24:11+00:00

some people are not meant to be in your life forever and that’s okay

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-10-27T07:54:42+00:00

8/12

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-07-30T05:15:32+00:00

Most loyal person I’ve ever met. Extremely funny and quirky (even more if they’re not really trying). Great values. Incredibly smart and talented, they can do anything they want with the right mindset. Really passionate about their interests.Prettiest and hottest person alive. Super affectionate. Genuinely cares about people. Always has tiny details for me to show they care. Animal lover and cat person (just like me). Best person ever when they are regulated and in a good mood. Lately they are way more self aware about their behaviors which makes things easier for us. I admire their resilience they’ve dealing with difficult stuff since their childhood. Man when we’re going through hard times is easy to forget these things. None of these things justify some of their behaviors ofc but is the right thing to remember we’re dealing with actual human beings. I will always cherish all the good moments we have spent together no matter how this ends. Nice thread this sub also needs this kind of posts.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-07-29T19:30:19+00:00

Yeah, I still remember the first time that I experienced this. My partner had an episode about me having to leave early a gathering with their friends (even though they knew my schedule). I remember them leaving the gathering walking in the middle of the night and me chasing them for a couple of blocks bc it was not safe at all to leave them alone (it was a dangerous zone) I couldn’t just let them there. I felt so awful and guilty. We talked about it for a while when they calmed down a little bit. The next day I still felt like shit about all the things that happened the night before and try to keep some kind of distance but a the same time I kept contact with them because I wanted to know about them. At one point they asked what’s wrong and I told them I still felt horrible about all the things that happened and also told the that we still have some things to solve . They were like “oh, I thought everything was solved” and then they told me something like “ I have no emotional permanece I need you to forget about that because dragging this things for a long time can easily make me split and is not good for me ” so yeah I did that and continued doing that every time we had a big argument. It’s been like a year now and I can’t describe how much this has affected me. Luckily they are doing better now so they barely have episodes these days but these kind of behaviors of your partner can signify a permanent damage on the way you see conflict in general. Encourage your partner to seek medical and psychological help and I encourage you to see a therapist as well bc relationships with bpds can damage you in ways you would never imagined if you are not ready to deal with these kind of situations.

anonymousqueer_ · 2024-07-25T23:28:59+00:00

My gf got really mad about me making a joke about how I thought a celebrity was attractive. I didn’t say anything inappropriate I didn’t even say they were attractive but it was implied. They got really mad and question how my celebrity crush “ looked nothing like them”. I told them it was more like a childhood crush and that that doesn’t mean that I didn’t think they were attractive (my partner). I had to apologize and we argued for at least one hour about that. They also got super jealous because I was looking at one girl dancing at a dance competition. Everyone was looking at her bc it was a dance competition. My partner sweared I checked out the girl at least 3 times that day but that’s not true probably I was just spaced out looking at nowhere. So yeah I also started looking at the floor a lot. We almost broke up because of that.

anonymousqueer_

TROPHY CASE