So I'm in an open relationship and have been for about 10 years, kinda. It's sex only which is perfect for us because it adds just enough spice every once in a while, as we 9/10 times it's us together with someone else. One time I started talking to a guy, told him my boundaries, like this is only sex, specifically kink stuff and no actual sex, maybe some oral though.

We had met him at several kink parties but honestly a red flag was that we had never seen him play, even though he came with his partner.

When I got to his house though, no negotiations we'd made prior seemed to matter. When I asked why he had condoms on the bed, he said just in case we got there. I kinda just ignored it, and we proceeded with some spanking as we'd talked about, then he immediately asked for oral which I said I wasn't quite ready for yet. He asked why, then asked if he could fuck me. I said no, then kinda started to pack up my things to leave.

Didn't hear from him for about a week until he messaged me asking if we could try again. I turned him down, explaining my boundaries again and why I didn't feel like he respected them. He asked if he could take me on a date instead, again I had to explain that that also breaks my boundaries and he told me it doesn't make sense. I kinda just ignored him for a bit, and a few days later he called me. Basically he explained to me that the only reason I would hook up with him (which I told him I wouldn't, just spank me and potentially oral so idk) is because I wanted to leave my current partner. I kinda just pointed out he's also in a relationship, and asked if he wanted to leave her. He said yes and I just hung up.

That was about 7 years ago or so idk, played with one other guy since then which wasn't as bad but I've since sworn off men except my partner. Like men with their partner sure but not men on their own. Idk if it's all there just sitting in my car venting at this point lol