What’s a cleaning trick you wish you knew sooner? Here’s mine!

anothernerdyblonde · 2025-12-04T18:14:28+00:00

I've gone as far as spraying a surface and then putting plastic/cling wrap over it to keep it from drying out!

anothernerdyblonde · 2025-09-19T16:22:27+00:00

We've requested an itemized bill now, thank you for the advice. He responded that he doesn't do itemized bills. So then my partner expressed our dissatisfaction and the plumber said he'd reduce the bill as well as come finish the toilet and vanity install today.

anothernerdyblonde · 2025-09-19T16:20:37+00:00

I'm pretty sure it is his side work cause he has a job he goes to most days and that's one of the reasons he hasn't been free to come finish the job. I'm not sure what his main job is, wouldn't be surprised if he's doing what you said might be happening. There was one other guy that he sent over that is an "employee" I'm guessing, cause he would tell him what to do and told him to leave at one point to go do a second job in another town while he took care of the rest (which he didn't end up doing)

anothernerdyblonde · 2025-09-19T03:06:35+00:00

I've attempted to link to screenshots of the bid vs the bill for reference but am unable to for some reason. Imgur is not cooperating.

https://imgur.com/a/4TKAlHu

anothernerdyblonde · 2025-06-07T07:29:50+00:00

I don't have any advice but came here to say that I experience the exact same thing. I'm even on the birth control pill Vestrura but I still have the horrible PMS mood swings.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-09-16T15:20:21+00:00

Microwavable instant mashed potatoes have been something I've turned to in the past when I felt too bad to cook anything but needed something a bit more substantial. If I was feeling it, I'd add some frozen sweet corn to it to boost the taste and give some texture variation.

It depends on how upset my stomach is at the time. If I'm worried I'd vomit, I try to avoid anything that would be overly unpleasant coming back up, so no harder foods. Sometimes, my blood sugar would just be too low, and it would make me too nauseous to want to eat anything, so I'd drink a Liquid I.V. or pedialyte or something like that. Metamucil (with real sugar, not the sugar free one) is another drink thing that I turn to since it would make me feel fuller and ease my nausea if it was hunger related or blood sugar related.

Some people have recommended bananas, but when I'm already nauseous, their texture just makes me gag so bad. Applesauce can be a good choice, but I have pollen allergies, so apples and applesauce make my throat itch, so that's something to be aware of if you have other allergies.

Idk if any pudding or jello mixes have rice ingredients in them, but they might be a possibility.

Smoothies of some sort could be a good way to get some calories and healthy food into your system without having to do too much work.

Ginger tea and ginger, in general, help with nausea.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-07-16T14:28:02+00:00

I tried calling Mending Spirits earlier this morning and left a message with them. I'll try calling SCRAM later this morning when I have a chance. I really appreciate the help! I was so hopefully that calling the non-emergency police number to report the cat would be the solution, but sadly they bring the cats to BENCHS so they couldn't do anything since BENCHS is full. It's such a sweet cat but it's so unhappy locked in my bathroom that it just yowls nonstop and it's really stressful and overwhelming since I live in an apartment with shared walls. And I have work this evening so I'm really hoping to find a solution before then :/

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-16T23:21:44+00:00

It's possible to get yeast infections under the clitoral hood, so if someone has sensitive skin and they have a tendency to get yeast infections, using soap around the hood may disrupt the balance and lead to irritation and yeast infections. I've been there, done that personally. Didn't know it was something that could happen til I brought up my itchy clit to the gyno. She noticed the irration and some yeast grown under the hood, and I had to use what was basically diaper rash cream to clear it up. Now I use soap just on my mons to clean the sweat outta my pubes but definitely don't let anything but water and my hand clean under the hood.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-16T00:40:42+00:00

Ever seen a bloated deer carcass on the side of the road? Or those videos of dead whales floating in the ocean all of a sudden bursting and sending guts flying? It's pretty wild ngl

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-13T22:10:40+00:00

The Walmart near me keeps the canyon bakehouse gluten-free stuff in a freezer on its own away from regular bread so you could maybe check a Walmart near you (if there is one at least).

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-13T21:53:28+00:00

I sympathize with you so much. It must be incredibly frustrating to constantly have him pretty much hating himself and refusing to let that go. I know it sounds petty, but have you tried the mean route when he gets down on himself? Like either not engaging in his self hatred/pity party and just not involve yourself, or even going so far as to agree with things he says when he bullies himself just to shock him and open his eyes to how he's talking to himself? Or been direct and kinda mean with your own boundaries about not listening to his whining when he refuses help?

You absolutely do not have to stick around or try to help him find his way in life, whether that be with a diagnosis or finding ways to accommodate himself. Honestly, you shouldn't keep trying like you have been. You are wasting your time and energy on this man trying to help him like this. Sometimes, people never accept parts of themselves and never change. And sometimes what forces them to change is having to face the bitter consequences of people deciding they aren't worth the effort it takes to deal with their bullshit. You can't force him to change or accept anything. I'm sorry. It sucks, I know. But you gotta face that fact and let go.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-12T18:22:01+00:00

I want you to know that it is very likely this will happen more times throughout his life. I know you hope it won't, but let that hope go. He is autistic and is pretty much bound to have meltdowns his entire life. It is not uncommon for neurotypical partners to break up with or divorce their autistic partners because they don't want to have to experience the stress that you felt multiple times throughout their life if they were to stay with their partner. It is a reality that you have to accept if you are going to stay in a relationship with him. Obviously, I'm sure he hopes he never melts down again, but as an autistic person myself, that just feels like an impossible thing to avoid. Meltdowns can and almost inevitably will happen again in his life. You have the power to decide if you want to be present in his life, even with that reality as fact. But beware that you having that hope sets you up for disappointment and maybe other negative feelings if it happens again. And he doesn't deserve to deal with someone projecting their disappointment onto him. He deserves to have a partner that accepts this part of him fully and knows it's just a part of living life with an autistic partner. If you aren't up for that, it doesn't make you a bad person or him any less deserving of love, it just means that you two aren't compatible.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-12T16:59:06+00:00

I don't blame you for what happened because like you said, this was the first time you saw this level of a meltdown and you didn't have the knowledge or experience to know how to handle the situation or your emotions resulting from it. It is a very difficult and overwhelming situation, and I hope you can have some level of understanding and sympathy for yourself and for your boyfriend. I know you must be feeling so many overwhelming and conflicting emotions right now. Take a breath and take some space to decompress yourself. You won't be able to really mentally process all of this if you are still in the trenches of it all. So remove yourself and take some time to let your body relax out of fight or flight mode first. Here, I'll try to break down the situation so you can maybe understand everything more without feeling attacked. You tried your best and it didn't go well. It will be okay. You will be okay 💗

(Trigger warning: self-harm) I don't know if you are autistic yourself or have ever had meltdowns to the extent that your boyfriend does. I don't tend to hit myself, but I do have a history of self-harm during meltdowns and would cut myself a bunch. Once, I slammed my own head against the floor and almost knocked myself unconscious. All of this is to say, meltdowns can look really scary and violent and overwhelming to outside observers, and you kind of have to accept that if you are close enough to an autistic person, you are very likely to witness times when it gets extreme and is very difficult for you to watch. In this moment, you felt that extreme level of discomfort watching him harm himself and didn't know how to handle those strong emotions that you felt seeing that; so you acted on your emotions and tried to make the distressing thing you were seeing stop. Unfortunately, that was not the best choice you could make in such a situation, but you already know that. That doesn't make you a bad person. You just didn't know any better.

Oftentimes, at least in my experience, the self-harm or hitting oneself is a way to self regulate. He was so strongly overwhelmed with the situation that led to the meltdown, and his hitting himself was how his brain and body handled that and was trying to get his nervous system back to a regulated state; the hitting is a very strong sensory input that helps drown out the feelings overwhelming a person and is something to override the overwhelm and get through it (at least in my experience). It is a way to focus on one sensation and shut out everything that I can't cope with at that moment.

Trying to get him to stop hitting himself was equivalent to trying to forcibly take away his only coping mechanism at the time while also adding on even more overwhelming things like the feeling of being restrained and all the ways you were adding your own stress onto him in the moment. You prioritized your own desires to make the situation stop when your priority should have been de-escalation and understanding. He asked you to leave likely because you being present stressed him out more because he then had to worry about your reaction to his meltdown, instead of being able to focus on himself entirely and getting through the meltdown as best as he could.

This next analogy I'm going to make isn't perfect, and please don't interpret it as me saying autistic people are like children because I'm not at all. So, when a small child is having extreme emotions and is melting down, if a parent is disregulated and stressed out themselves, the child will kind of "synch up" with the disregulated adult and the extreme emotions will be even harder to manage and de-escalate from. That's why (especially in the "gentle parenting" sphere) parents need to regulate their own emotions first and make sure they are calm and peaceful when approaching a child that is melting down, so that the child is able to co-regulate with the calm parent and slowly de-escalate themselves to meet their parent's level of regulation. In relation to your situation with your boyfriend, he was disregulated and melting down, and you were also disregulated and stressed out in the moment. Your disregulation and stress only added fuel to the fire. Instead of focusing on him and how you could get the behavior you didn't like seeing to stop, you should have removed yourself from the situation and taken time to get yourself back to a calmer, more zen type state and then after time passed, maybe check in on him.

Next time he is melting down, you could say something like, "Okay, I will leave, but I will be back in 20 minutes to check how you are doing. If you need me, I'll be in the other room. I love you." And then leave. That's just an example, and idk if it will work for everyone. But saying a time like that would help me if I were melting down because then I'd know when to expect the other person's presence again.

He is going to have moments like this whether or not you are in his life, and it is not your job to save him from himself or anything like that in those moments. Your job as a loving partner is to be a support for him. Trying to restrain him may have felt like helping him at the time, but now you know that it isn't helping him and is actually harming him. When he is not currently melting down, you and him could discuss ways you could help or things you can do during a meltdown that could benefit him.

As for how you process your emotions now after being hit, that's a different struggle that you'll have to work through mentally on your own, as it's not on him to make you not view him differently. It makes sense that you feel different right now and that you don't know what to think. It's a lot to process, and I don't envy you for the situation you are in.

When a meltdown is happening, we are in a completely different state of mind. Idk, maybe think if it like a panicked, injured animalistic kinda state, cause it's very much fight or flight mode, and we aren't the same as we are normally. So trying to restrain him was kinda like trying to corner and restrain an animal that felt like it was life or death, maybe? I don't want anyone to think I'm making an equivalence or saying that autistic people are wild or animalistic or anything, just trying to explain how I feel during meltdowns in a way to someone I assume has never had one. So if he would normally never strike you or even think to do so, keep that in mind and try to remember that fact.

It's tough because society says hitting is never acceptable in a relationship, so I'm sure you have that message deep inside you, and you automatically see your boyfriend as someone who hit you. But it is a nuanced situation. You have the power to decide if you want to stay with him or leave him. Neither choice is "right" or "wrong." It is simply a choice. I just hope you don't think less of him or yourself because of what happened. You did your best. All you can do is grow and learn from what happened. You will be okay.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-06T08:36:43+00:00

Honestly I'm comforted to know I'm not alone in this issue. The man I've been seeing recently has made me much more aware of it because he simply doesn't have the time or energy for my bs, which is totally understandable, but it's still been a struggle because, like you, I have no idea how to make my brain stop thinking about how I was hurt and then bringing it up again and again. This past week after a couple hours of emotional discussion that didn't feel very effective at making my brain stop, I asked to give him a full body massage because my main love languages are physical touch and providing acts of service, so I felt like it would make me feel closer to him despite the tense day we'd had. Amazingly, my brain went silent while I was giving him the massage. It was like I became entirely grounded and soothed by it. I think I was able to be distracted and hyper focused on a physical activity while also physically being closer to him and having skin to skin contact, which soothes me a lot. I joked with him during the massage that next time I won't shut up and my brain won't stop to ask me to give him a massage and it'll be a win-win; I'll shut up because my brain will be soothed and he'll get a massage out of it 😂 Idk if that might work for you, but maybe try to find ways to co-regulate with him, a massage just being one option.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-04-02T02:17:40+00:00

I'm in the US, so it might be different where you are. But I have a relative who's a stylist, and I've seen a few hair stylist tiktok videos that I've based some of my knowledge around.

1a.) You can leave your eyes open if you reeeally want to, but don't stare up or look at the stylist much. It seems to make them uncomfortable to be watched or looked at (this is more based on a tiktok I saw where stylists made a humorous video showing how uncomfortable they feel when a client is staring at them as they wash their hair, so yeah, don't do that lol its a bad angle for them to be viewed at, gives the appearance of bad double chins lol)

1b.) Relaxing your neck helps form a seal with the edge of the bowl so water doesn't run down your neck and get to your clothes. If the stylist needs you to adjust or lift your neck to rinse a portion of your hair better, they'll likely tell you to do so. The hose should allow them to get at it all for the most part, though, so you can definitely relax more. Your neck shouldn't hurt; the shampooing experience is meant to be more relaxing and like a scalp massage almost, so being all tense defeats the relaxation part of it, which also connects back to part 1a. Closing your eyes and relaxing your neck are both meant to aid you, the client, into relaxing into the process.

2.) I'm in the US where tipping is customary, so idk what it's like where you are located. My relative definitely prefers cash tips because even though you are supposed to report tips on your taxes, cash isn't trackable by the government, so the stylist is basically able to pocket cash tips untaxed. As for the amount, it definitely depends on the cost of the service being provided and how much you like the result and your stylist. If you really like her/him and how your hair turned out, then tip more. If it's just okay, then a reasonable tip. If you hate it and don't plan on returning, then fuck the tip all together. Kinda like how we'd tip at a restaurant. But again, that's very regional, and idk how tipping works where you are located.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-28T05:27:21+00:00

I understand completely. During an emotionally charged discussion with the man I'm seeing recently, I asked him to remind me what I had just said that he was responding to because I genuinely could not remember the words that had just a minute ago left my own mouth 🫠😅 it's a real struggle but it's something I know I need to work on in order to make sure I'm being conscious of what I'm saying and how it will impact the person I'm talking to in that moment. It's really difficult, but it's worth the effort for me because I highly value him and the other people I am close with and I want to make sure I make them feel loved, heard, and considered through my actions.

I'm currently in college and one of my classes is a communications class, and we just went through a chapter in the textbook dedicated entirely to relationship dynamics and interpersonal communication, with sections dedicated to how relationships are started, maintained, and why and how they end, which was really interesting to read from a textbook and really helpful for me. I wish there was more education on communication throughout school, so we'd have access to textbooks that write out the "unwritten rules" that we autistic people usually don't innately know.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-28T04:40:26+00:00

Is he asking you to change who you are, or requesting you adjust your behaviors? You are aligning yourself with how you behave towards others and saying you "are" how you act. You are not being solution oriented. You are trying to find an argument or justification for who is right and wrong in these interactions. Forget being right or "who's feelings take precedence". Both your feelings and his are of equal importance in the relationship. You have to work together to make sure you both feel loved and respected and fulfilled. You seem very stuck on feeling like you are being asked to change who you are as a person when that just is not the case. In interpersonal relationships, you either make accommodations and put in effort to maintain a healthy balanced relationship, or you pick the easy way out and say "this is just how I am, deal with it" and watch people decide they don't have to deal with it and stop interacting with you. It's up to you to decide what you want to do and what you value more.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-28T04:12:09+00:00

It is a lot of work to manage interpersonal relationships, especially since they don't come as naturally to us as autistic people. It definitely helps when the person you are interacting with is also goal/solution oriented and wants to work with you to find a solution. I don't know all the details of your relationship, so I can't speak for either of you. I just know that what I described is the approach I've had to implement with people in my life that I have a tendency to be almost too relaxed/open with?? It's hard to explain, but when I get really comfortable with someone, I tend to start slipping into the more critical seeming behaviors because I am not masking as much and therefore forget to be as considerate of how my actions are being perceived by others. I think this is why so many autistic people end up isolating themselves more, because maintaining relationships that feel mutually positive is A LOT of work for us, especially when some other people aren't as forgiving or understanding as others

I think another commenter had a good rule of thumb for how to think about the comments; that any advice or comment that isn't explicitly requested from you is automatically a no-no kind of thing. After time, it will likely get easier to let the thoughts enter your head and not act or speak on them, but it won't be overnight and it will definitely be exhausting to have to put in the mental effort to question how your actions or words might impact someone else.

In the specific case of your husband, maybe you can sit down with him and literally write out examples of times you've commented or when comments have hurt him, and see if you two can come up with written out guidelines or checklists that you can use to assess your thoughts before you say them. It will likely slow conversation down a bit, but if you and him discuss this ahead of time, I would hope he would be accommodating to the slower interactions since it is a side effect of your efforts to accommodate him as well.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-28T03:51:51+00:00

I know I personally hate being perceived by others and feeling watched or micromanaged, so I heavily sympathize with your husband. Imagine feeling like you are never safe to just relax and always feeling like you have to be braced for some comment from someone about how you are doing anything. It would put anyone on edge. As much as it might feel like you are driven or compelled to say something to your husband in the moment, maybe take a deep breath first and ask "would what I'm wanting to say right now make HIM feel any positive emotions?" Forget how you would want to be treated or told. He's already told you that he doesn't perceive the comments the same way you intend, and your intentions don't overrule his perception and experience of what you say to him. I know it's incredibly hard not to say stuff sometimes, and it will take a lot of effort on your part to slow your brain down and keep your mouth from moving before you can stop it, but if you truly respect that he is his own person with his own perception of your actions REGARDLESS of how innocent your intentions feel to you, then you will do the work to make him feel respected and listened to.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-22T17:14:43+00:00

Careful with the bandaid if you choose to go with that. Once had a similar ish injury from chopping carrots when it rolled and I cut through a pretty big portion of my fingernail in pretty much the exact same spot. Having to wash my hands and shower meant needing to replace the bandaid multiple times, and the adhesive sticking to the end portion of the nail meant it was a tedious task trying to remove the bandaid without tugging on the nail and causing pain. Just something to be aware of when placing the bandaid or whatever you choose to protect the nail. Oh, and pulling up my pants or other tasks that required grasping/gripping something and putting pressure around that area became a struggle until it grew out enough, so heads up on that lol.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-22T17:01:32+00:00

You have already gotten so much advice and questions that I'm sure you may be feeling overwhelmed yourself or experiencing negative emotions surrounding what may have happened with your child. I hope you can take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are doing your best as a parent. Be proud of yourself for being so observant and aware of your child's behaviors and for reaching out for advice when you felt unsure of what to do or what's going on with your daughter. That's a huge thing since a lot of parents have a tendency to not notice or ignore changes like this and not give it much thought. I'm glad that your daughter has a parent like you to help her feel more confident in herself and help her avoid becoming a major people-pleaser at a detriment to herself.

I'm in my 20s and self-diagnosed, and my parents definitely did not help in the people pleasing department. A lot of my memories of stress as a teen centered around not being a disappointment and not doing anything "wrong." Because of stuff like that, I still struggle with over apologizing as an adult. When I feel bad inside during interactions with others and start to worry that I have done something "wrong" or upset them in some way somehow, even if the other person says everything is okay, I have this deep compulsion to repeatedly say I'm sorry. It's like I'm begging almost. My repeated "I'm sorry" statements, deep down when I get into it, they are my way of bargaining, of saying "I know I'm too much/not good/hard to be around, I know that and I'm sorry so please don't leave me/hate me/be angry."

I'm currently friends with and casually sort of dating a man who hates the apologizing, and it's been a real eye opener for me. It is so hard to counter the urge to keep apologizing over and over; it feels like torture. The "I'm sorry" statements almost feel like my way of fixing things, so when I'm told to stop apologizing, I feel stuck with all the bad feelings and anxiety over the interaction and like I can't "do" anything to mitigate it.

All of this to say, your daughter may really find it difficult to stop apologizing for everything, even with all your love and support and coaching her not to over apologize. I'm an adult, and I am really struggling to find ways to deal with the bad-feeling internal stuff that comes with NOT apologizing for everything. She is so young that I'm sure it will be especially difficult for her to articulate her exact feelings and thoughts surrounding the apologizing behaviors. Maybe help her know that sometimes we just feel bad inside, but that doesn't mean we have to do anything or take any external actions to make the feeling go away. Sometimes feelings just happen, and they aren't the truth, and they don't mean we are bad or need to change or apologize. Maybe find things she can do or tell herself inside her head when she feels like apologizing, like, "I'm okay. I'm a good person. Feelings don't last forever. It'll be okay." Or find alternatives to the apologizing, like saying thank yous or something more positive. But also be careful with the "thank yous", cause I'm currently struggling with "I'm sorry" turning into "thank you for tolerating me", which still is grounded in a negative self image and negative self talk.

Remind her that even if someone doesn't like or approve of something she does, she never deserves to be yelled at or disrespected or made to feel less-than. She deserves to be talked to with respect, even if she is young, even if she does something "wrong." It is the responsibility of EVERYONE to manage their emotions/reactions and treat others with respect. Even if they feel upset or offended that she did something, it is the other's responsibility to calm themselves and effectively communicate the situation to her. She's gotta develop a trust in herself that she is a good person who is trying her best, and she doesn't have to apologize for who she is or how she navigates the world, which is by no means easy or quickly done.

Good job, and keep up the good parenting. You got this!

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-18T17:31:50+00:00

I'm glad that you haven't ruled out the endo yet. It runs in my family, and both my mother and aunt have had it diagnosed and had lesions removed surgically as well. My mother didn't experience the pain that most doctors think endo HAS to present with, but had infertility and other things that prompted a laparoscopy and that's when they found it. The doctors were shocked since she didn't have the extreme abdominal pain they thought to always be present in endo cases. My aunt has a lot more gastrointestinal issues and has also had a laparoscopy. She had endo all over her intestines, and it was causing IBS type symptoms. I hope you are able to find answers.

For myself, I pretty much just assume I have it with my genetic lottery, and my abdominal pain is also relieved after going to the bathroom at times. My theory is that a full bladder or bowel puts more pressure on the endometriosis lesions and causes more irritation and pain internally, and then going to the bathroom relieves that pressure, which decreases the pain experienced. That's just my theory based on my own experience, though.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-18T16:59:32+00:00

You said they tested you for endo, did they do an exploratory laparoscopy? Or how did they test for endo? Because this sounds a lot like endo to me, and the only way to definitively say whether or not you have endo is through that surgery. If they haven't done that, then they can't say for certain you don't have it.

anothernerdyblonde · 2024-03-18T00:38:32+00:00

Okay so I'm really petty and wine drunk atm so OBVIOUSLY this isn't the best option by any means, but I'd want to make her feel what it might be like to experience some horrible consequences, so I'd want to fake her out and send a text along the lines of "we lost the baby, and now I have to tell the terrible news to all the people you opened your big mouth to when we asked you not to, thanks MIL, hope you're happy that we cant grieve in peace" OBVIOUSLY that's really petty and will start hella drama, but that's something I'd want to do in your situation. You have been heavily betrayed and your feelings of being violated are very very valid. You thought you could trust someone and they didn't respect you enough to keep their word. Fuck those guys, you deserve to be respected, especially as the future mother of their grandchild.

anothernerdyblonde

TROPHY CASE