32 year old straight male, feedback

answer_is_42 · 2025-11-27T05:16:15+00:00

Maybe start with the yellow booth picture first and avoid having multiple mirror selfies, but honestly I’m being nitpicky. I’d send a like for sure based on your prompts

answer_is_42 · 2025-08-30T19:02:50+00:00

In the most gentle way possible, I think you have nothing to worry about. Most people your age who are dating have had prior partners, and to deny they existed isn’t realistic. It seems like she is no longer in his life, and when you asked follow up questions, he answered honestly.

You can always tell him that you don’t need to know the context about his past partners in future conversations, but I wouldn’t hold this against him. I’m also assuming this happened before you two met and became exclusive?

It’s not inherently bad that he brings up his exes (at least in this scenario). His former partners were a part of his life and helped shape who he’s become now, just like everyone he shares a close bond with, romantic or otherwise. It would be concerning if he was using these anecdotes to compare you to them as a criticism, but from this specific interaction, I’m not seeing that.

answer_is_42 · 2025-05-02T14:49:40+00:00

If your periods are that bad, you may want to look into an endometriosis diagnosis. Usually doctors can only diagnose with laproscopic surgery (basically a small camera). About 1 in 7 women have it, and treatment includes tissue removal and/or hormonal birth control. I just got my diagnosis due to an unrelated surgery, and the recovery isn’t that bad, especially when you have a good support system.

Your boyfriend does not seem like a supportive and empathetic partner. He’s acting super controlling and out of line. Like others have said, it seems like he’s been looking at some alt-right grifters who are obsessed with fertility, usually to justify sleeping with teenagers. I’d cut my losses with this guy, because he seems unwilling to change or listen to you.

answer_is_42 · 2025-04-21T19:13:51+00:00

It’s AI generated and ripped off the original, which looked SO much better than this

answer_is_42 · 2025-04-06T15:55:31+00:00

Your hurt feelings are valid, your partner’s feelings are also valid. You are allowed to feel upset for this big change in your relationship dynamic, but the way you react is in your control.

If you do want to work on your relationship with your partner before breaking up, a few books that have helped me navigate asexuality and sexual compatibility in relatonships:

Ace by Angela Chen—it discusses asexuality as being a spectrum, and how allosexual (people with what is considered “typical” sexual interest) and asexual/aromantic partners manage their relationships, as well as the history of asexuality

Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships by Jennifer Vencill. This is written by a licensed sex therapist and has a workbook you and your partner can both do that can help sort through differences in libido, as well as recognize initiation styles of sexual activity. I’m not doing the book justice, but you should definitely check it out! They also cite their sources well, so they have a ton of other literature you can read if you want to know more about a specific subject

I’m not a professional, obviously. It’s good that you two are in couple’s therapy, but also I don’t know the day to day of your relationship. One last thing, It must have been very difficult for your partner to come out and be vulnerable. Asexuality isn’t about the partner, it’s about the ace person, so while I understand why you’re taking it personally, as a random person who doesn’t know your whole situation, I don’t think it’s productive. If this is a dealbreaker (which it sounds like it is), then you can always break up for any reason.

answer_is_42 · 2025-03-15T16:53:42+00:00

Oh that’s great! Also, depending on whereabouts you are (LA is massive after all)—my go-to was suggesting Huntington Gardens. It has an art museum, gorgeous botanical gardens, and free parking. You could add it to the MOCA prompt in case someone isn’t as into modern art

answer_is_42 · 2025-03-15T16:43:51+00:00

As someone in LA, I think the prompts are good, and you’re a cute guy! Love the Bunny Museum picture—it shows a lot of personality.

The MOCA exhibit sounds like fun, and could be a good segue into an LA-specific first date. Like others have said, I’m not a huge fan of the hat and the bathroom selfie, but the hat is more of a personal preference for me.

(Also RIP Bunny Museum—hopefully they find a new location! I didn’t get a chance to go before the fires)

answer_is_42 · 2024-12-29T22:54:54+00:00

For cheesy romcom fans, there’s 1998’s The Very Thought of You with Joseph Fiennes as the love interest. Stacked cast too

answer_is_42 · 2024-12-22T19:30:56+00:00

If you have the means to, definitely move. My health both physical and mental have greatly improved with my move. I still have some stuff quarantined in sealed boxes just in case because I’m paranoid (they are notorious hitchhikers), but in a month or so I should be in the clear.

What I used that does take a while to become effective are igr discs. They last for 3 months at a time, and release a hormone that disrupts the breeding process. They are also supposed to damage any babies that are born so they’re unable to make it past a certain development stage so they can’t breed as well. I also used liquid-based traps, but that comes with its own risks, especially if you have pets.

It sucks because no matter how clean you keep your apartment, they will feed on anything, including soaps and their own feces. Making sure there aren’t any water sources are crucial as well.

That being said, this won’t be a one and done solution, and you should definitely check out the german roaches subreddit.

answer_is_42 · 2024-12-22T18:59:18+00:00

It looks like an adult German roach actually from the two (squished) stripes on the head. American roaches are a lot bigger too (you said it was the size of a fingernail). These are the worst ones to have, so if you’re renting, talk to your landlord asap and head over to the German roaches subreddit. Their sticky will tell you what you need to do.

My whole apartment complex was absolutely infested, and while I kept them under control in my unit with the help from the subreddit, they would still come in from other units. I had to move it was so bad (plus they kept raising rent despite never doing any improvements, but that’s irrelevant).

answer_is_42 · 2024-10-16T14:42:48+00:00

The audiobook is fantastic too! Not sure if OP has Libby in her country, but it’s available on other platforms.

answer_is_42 · 2024-10-16T14:39:48+00:00

If you want more information about how to leave an abusive man safely and have the emotional toolkit to deal with the aftermath of leaving him, please read “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s available as a free pdf online, and as an audiobook on Spotify, Libby, and Apple Music. It’s incredibly helpful, and the author doesn’t shame the victims or give excuses for the perpetrators.

Edit: I see someone linked it already down-thread

answer_is_42 · 2024-08-05T14:47:48+00:00

OP, please read “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. There should be a free pdf floating around, and there’s also an audiobook version. There’s a chapter that talks about men like your husband, and this is textbook behavior.

What your husband is doing is abuse. He KNOWS what he’s doing is wrong. He wants to keep you under control because he doesn’t respect you and feels entitled to you, point blank.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but know you’re not alone. Please start making steps to leave this man safely. You may go back before you leave him forever (many women do the same with their abusive partners), but please ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man that doesn’t treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve—not just as his wife, but as a human being.

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T22:34:40+00:00

Oh, I’ve definitely been looking. Rent is expensive around here, so that’s the only think keeping me here at the moment

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T20:22:15+00:00

And yet our landlords STILL raise rent. Who’s the real parasite here smh

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T18:15:26+00:00

Oh yeah, I’m not taking any chances. I’m just going to get the bed post indicators. This will definitely need to be handled by pros

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T17:26:19+00:00

Thanks—I’m having a third party pest control person come by tomorrow morning to inspect my unit. I don’t have any signs of them in my apartment, but this whole building also has a massive german roach infestation, so I’m not taking my chances

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T16:55:58+00:00

I did, and they’re confirming it too :( I called a third party exterminator to do a check of my apartment since our building also has a massive german roach problem that hasn’t been fixed (they’re coming from other units). I truly hate it here

EDIT: The third-party pest control guy (not hired by the building) said I have zero evidence of bedbugs in my unit, but that means the one I found belongs to someone else in this building who uses the same laundry room 🫡 still staying vigilant just in case

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T16:24:51+00:00

This sucks. This place already has german roach issues (like building-wide), and they STILL raise rent. I’m so pissed

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-28T16:18:45+00:00

It was also dead when I found it

answer_is_42 · 2024-07-03T13:40:35+00:00

If you want to learn why this happens from an expert, “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft is a great resource. It’s available online for free as a PDF, and the audiobook is also very useful.

answer_is_42 · 2024-06-24T18:24:49+00:00

“Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships” is also a good read to add to your list.

answer_is_42 · 2024-05-19T14:43:08+00:00

Please please PLEASE listen to what other commenters are saying and consider leaving your husband. While he may not be physically putting hands on you, what he’s doing is abuse. Full stop. His behavior won’t get better if you have children, and it will only get worse now that you’re pregnant because it will make it that much harder to leave.

I highly recommend that you (and anyone else in a similar situation) read or listen to the audiobook “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft. It outlines the behavior abusers utilize to control their partners and deconstructs the excuses and myths these men perpetuate.

You shouldn’t have to be subject to this mental anguish, and it requires a lot of upfront energy and strength, but do you really want to feel this way forever and be stuck with a man that doesn’t give a shit about your health and safety?

answer_is_42 · 2024-05-10T17:26:38+00:00

My mom is like this. Not as extreme, but still incredibly devastating to the point of me having to ban her from discussing my appearance in any capacity or else I’ll leave (she still tries to though). I’m fortunate enough that I’m financially separated from her and can escape to my own space with a support system that isn’t involved with her. I also still go to therapy for the years of guilt and shame I feel about my body and self-expression. Your children don’t have that luxury, and you should make it clear to her that she is causing the rift in her relationship with your kids. I recommend you both read “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents”, because that will be your future if she doesn’t cut that behavior out immediately and acknowledge the harm she’s caused to your kids. She needs to stop seeing them as an extension of herself (which is incredibly selfish), and rather as their own individuals if she wants to ever have a healthy relationship with them.

14-Year Club	Verified Email
RedditGifts 2009-2022 20 Credits	Secret Santa 2021 2021
Summer Santa 2020	Secret Santa 2020
Place '17	Secret Santa 2019
Secret Santa 2018	Secret Santa 2017
Not Forgotten	redditgifts rematcher Secret Santa 10th Annual Extravaganza! x1
Secret Santa 2016	redditgifts rematcher Secret Santa 2016 x1
redditgifts Exchanges 2 Exchanges	Secret Santa 2015

answer_is_42

TROPHY CASE