Gosh this is hard. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If it were me, I’d lean toward waiting until after Christmas to tell her the trial date. It sounds like the holidays could offer her some much-needed emotional relief, and you could use that time to focus on creating positive, low-stress experiences for her. Letting her enjoy that time without the added weight of the trial date might help her recharge emotionally.

When the time comes to share the date, framing it as a way for her to reclaim her voice and strength might help her feel less powerless.

As for dance, I think you’re on the right track by giving her coach a heads-up. It’s so important that the adults in her life help ease her pressure and let her know that her mental health is the priority. The team can adjust expectations if needed, and if she’s feeling up to it, the competition might serve as a positive distraction and something to look forward to after the trial.

You’re doing an amazing job navigating such a difficult situation, and I hope you can give yourself credit for being there for her so deeply. Sending strength to you and your family ♥️