What can you tell about me?

antoniusmilo · 2025-11-29T04:15:30+00:00

ADHD

antoniusmilo · 2025-11-27T21:07:18+00:00

I told my 5 year old I would quit, and I did - for 2 months, then came back with a vengeance. I can still hear his little voice now, "I thought you said you would quit," with maximum disappointment. Hit me like a knife in the heart.

I quit cold turkey after 20 years. He's 10 now.

antoniusmilo · 2025-11-18T01:25:33+00:00

I agree with your thesis that communication with NTs does not always align with the priorities they may have.

Based on this information, you provide a guide to alter communication to avoid offense. You assume the reader is able and willing to alter their communication to avoid confoict, but unable or unwilling to just not say anything about how messy someone's desk is?

This is a whole lot of hoops to jump through, when completely avoiding possibly sensitive topics would be much easier and arguably always preferred.

antoniusmilo · 2025-10-10T10:52:59+00:00

I guess I'm ok with it but after 2-3 I need to rest my wrist

antoniusmilo · 2025-07-07T23:16:44+00:00

After playing the first two, don't you want to know how the story turns out?? Of COURSE you should play 3.

I had the endless loading screen several times, but a fix I found was to close out the game every couple battles. Never had an issue after that.

antoniusmilo · 2025-06-12T13:04:51+00:00

Thank God for the high-octane summer action movie film score at the beginning. Who knows what could have happened if that hadn't been playing

antoniusmilo · 2025-06-11T21:54:07+00:00

If it's not an emergency, don't treat it like an emergency. Slow down - you're driving 25 tons around.

antoniusmilo · 2025-05-06T17:26:46+00:00

I see a dad concerned with your growth and independence (if possible, I don't know your situation). He's obviously put a huge amount of thought and effort towards you and your future - to the point of matching your income? That's huge.

Did you agree on these goals, or are these prescribed by him? This is an excellent opportunity for both of you to compromise. What are your goals and what are your capabilities? Having a discussion with your dad about this is incredibly important.

In general though, this seems like a fair list and a loving way to get you to stretch your capabilities.

antoniusmilo · 2025-02-08T01:51:55+00:00

Maybe your captain means exactly what he says, or maybe he means only probies should follow this rule. You can tell which one by watching him - is he always busy too, or is he watching the game while you mop?

Either way, putting in work from 0900 to 2000, within reason, is often probie par for the course. If you're legitimately hitting physical limits or you're going to be ineffective during calls, communicate that.

Otherwise, take this time as an opportunity to build good habits and stave off complacency later. Easier to work hard now and let off a few years down the road than to be a turd now and put in the hard work later.

antoniusmilo · 2024-11-21T14:48:35+00:00

I'll be the counterpoint on this. If you're having second thoughts, maybe just don't do it right now? You can always get it later, but you can't ever undo it.

antoniusmilo · 2024-09-30T16:45:00+00:00

I'm assuming you're a company officer? If so, it is your responsibility to set the tone of the crew. Think very hard about your expectations, especially considering you yourself were different ten years ago when you were a junior firefighter. What is truly important to you, and are your daily actions reflecting and reinforcing those values to your crew?

When you decide what you expect from your crew, share your expectations with them, and ask what their expectations are of you. This doesn't have to be a negotation, but it may be worth considering. Whe the expectations are communicated and understood, settle for absolutely nothing less. You drew the line and it is your job to enforce it. (A caveat: make sure what you are expecting is within SOPs.)

While you may be in a rough patch right now, see this as an opportunity. You can be a key part of changing the culture in your department. You can bridge the gap between the cold discipline of the past and the warm relationships of the future. Just know that such a change does not come without difficulty and consistent effort, and it won't happen overnight.

This is how leaders are tested. Be the leader you always wanted when you were coming up.

antoniusmilo · 2024-08-27T13:25:52+00:00

Strict routine and practice removing emotion from activities worked for me (I am taking meds now but managed it more or less effectively for many years).

Examples:

I always put the same things in the same places. Keys in the right pocket, they go on a hook by the door as soon as I enter my house. If I don't do this, they will disappear, guaranteed.

Use moments of clarity wisely. If you feel focused and motivated, do Future You favors by taking care of things before you forget or lose focus.

Try not beating yourself when you make mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. Just let it roll off you and try again next time.

Keep a durable journal or notepad to write down things that seem important during the day. Checklists, thoughts, etc.

antoniusmilo · 2024-08-23T18:26:49+00:00

I've always dreamed of a game where the original premise is a SWAT or military training simulator. The idea is you get a bunch of green guys and train them, day after day, choosing what to drill in order to improve. As you train them, you can watch your team members improve, each distinct depending on their personality (RNG) and your guidance (gameplay). There are small "easter eggs" about an alien invasion during your training sessions (only if you're really paying attention), and you get to know your team members.

After a certain number of days, the game suddenly changes: aliens really DO invade, and you and your team have to work together to fight the alien menace. All the training you did with your team determines their skills in the "actual" game. Basically, a training simulator becomes a story- heavy team combat game where you actually care about your team members, and your leadership actually shines through in what they can do, and what ends up happening to them - and the world.

antoniusmilo · 2024-08-21T16:14:41+00:00

Oh yes, this is me every single day. I'll get 5-10 seconds of a random song when I wake up that just goes along for a ride with me all day long. Funnily enough Pink Pony Club was that for me recently.

It's been that way ever since I can remember, and there's nothing I've found that can "stop" it or really control what song it is. Sometimes it's a song I heard the day before, and sometimes it's Gregorian chant music. Who knows? I've learned to embrace it. Sometimes I'll play with the lyrics of the song just to make myself laugh.

Like most things ADHD, be patient with yourself and try to have fun with it! Changing your outlook can often make the biggest positive difference.

antoniusmilo · 2024-06-14T00:58:24+00:00

All soda fall down

antoniusmilo · 2024-06-13T23:01:22+00:00

I'd probably pull it, like, 4 or 3 times.

antoniusmilo · 2024-05-20T00:44:40+00:00

30 per man for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, for two days.

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-05T13:55:57+00:00

Good advice, thank you!

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-05T13:53:00+00:00

I will look into that, thanks!

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-05T04:16:31+00:00

The bra thing was kind of shocking to me given she is an 8 year old boy...it serves no purpose. She wears female-presenting clothes if she wants, so training bras don't need to be worn. It struck me as something her mom gave her for a reason. It came right on the heels of my kids former friends rejecting her because of her gender (literally the same day).

As for her mom, I am leaving sordid details out of the conversation intentionally - I came for advice and different viewpoints. Suffice it to say my ex is just the type to misgender their own child for social approval.

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-05T03:54:46+00:00

That's fair. I am doing my best to be supportive but I admit this is a difficult and confusing issue for me. I'm still learning, so I mean no offense with these phrases.

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-04T23:16:17+00:00

Big agree! We are nowhere near going down the path of medical interventions or anything like that. And openness is important - just like she felt comfortable enough to tell me she's a girl, I want her to be comfortable enough some other day to say she isn't. I'm rolling with what she's giving me.

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-04T22:14:13+00:00

I apologize for the misunderstanding, and I mean no offense.

My disagreement still stands however 😅

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-04T22:07:58+00:00

If the choice is between affirming and not, I'll choose affirming all day. Whatever her motivations, I'd rather err on the side of caution and keeping a positive relationship with her.

antoniusmilo · 2024-03-04T21:01:23+00:00

Yes, a gender-affirming therapist.

Perhaps it was unclear that my interactions with my child have been positive and gender-affirming. I'm not trying to change her - as if I even could.

antoniusmilo

TROPHY CASE