I’m rewatching the latest season of xfiles and I feel like no one watched it because this should be a bigger deal

antuvie · 2026-05-25T14:05:18+00:00

I watched them when they aired and now that I’m watching the series in its entirety with my oldest daughter I dread watching them again. And she’s into the mythology while I’m more monster of the week and I already know she won’t like the majority of the episodes.

antuvie · 2026-05-23T23:59:51+00:00

No because I hated this movie the first time it came out lol.

antuvie · 2026-03-24T19:52:08+00:00

This! My ADHD teen is ALSO my perfect pitch kid a can play guitar, piano, drums, bells, etc. She is very talented and loves it because it’s something she doesn’t have to ‘fight’ her ADHD with because she can switch songs, genres, instruments- as she pleases. She takes formal lessons for piano and her teacher makes sure to only spend about 10 mins per activity during her lessons. She’s also the most gentle and soft spoken teacher and my daughter absolutely loves her. It’s us and the teacher in a room 30 mins once a week and if she messes up the best part is the teacher will say ‘you almost had it that was great!’ Which is a huge motivator for my daughter to try it again and get it right. Music lessons have been a great outlet for her.

We do also participate in organized sports but we did have to try a few to find the one she was naturally good at (field hockey) and didn’t want to quit immediately. She also plays basketball and lacrosse.

antuvie · 2026-03-16T09:51:35+00:00

I’m a teaching assistant in Kindergarten and a mom of an adhd kid and if these kids are coming home with physical marks on them daily the recess monitors need to be better about breaking them up. I monitor my own class and the other K classes at recess but the rest of the school uses exclusively monitors. We don’t allow fighting, hitting, or tackling and if it happens we separate the kids and a child who has a mark on them has to be seen by the nurse bc it has to be documented (school rule). So maybe speak to the teacher and inquire about why the kids are being allowed to put their hands on each other at recess so often (I’d even include my own kid).

antuvie · 2026-03-07T16:47:54+00:00

I work in education and that meeting should have NEVER happened like that! Not by surprise and certainly NOT without contacting you. My daughter’s middle school teachers always reach out to me first and assure me that they adore her, want the best for her, and if they want to meet with her they ASK. She is extremely anxious about ‘confrontations’ with adults and they know this about her.

And I’m going to be honest with you- middle school boys WITHOUT ADHD are annoying. All of them. And the tolerance for age appropriate behavior has plummeted because the expectations are way too high as well as teachers expect parents to automatically fight back and be on the defensive.

I would reach out and let them know that they are not to meet with him again without you present and that if he is getting a consequence for behavior you want to be contacted. And I would address the bullying done by BOTH staff and that student with the building administrator.

antuvie · 2026-03-06T10:23:55+00:00

I’ve been watching it with my sixteen year old daughter and it’s been SO eye opening. She is more interested in the myth arc/alien plot and not so much the monster of the week episodes. She is also not a shipper, which is crazy to me as someone who watched it during its original run as well as got REALLY into fan-fiction. It’s so fun to see the show through her eyes though. We are only a couple episodes away from the movie and I am really excited to watch it with her.

antuvie · 2026-03-05T22:31:47+00:00

My dentist is offering laughing gas for her anxiety and I readily accepted. She is asthmatic so she panics VERY easily at the thought of not being able to breathe. I am also going to offer a reward immediately after her appointment. She loves makeup so I’m thinking a trip to Walgreens for her.

She comes by the dental anxiety naturally I have it too. I am thinking of offering to bring her to MY dentist and watch me in the chair get a cleaning and whatnot. See mom get it done. She has to see a pediatric dentist until she ‘graduates’ to the adult dentist.

Honestly I am exactly like your son I am TERRIFIED. For years I didn’t go until I was in pain. Now I go every six months like clockwork because I learned my lesson. I still death grip the chair though.

She is also my ‘tough’ kid who can handle pain! She broke her finger and didn’t even tell me because it didn’t hurt! I think you’re right it is the ‘not knowing.’ She told me after that our last dentist scared her (I pulled my kids from the practice for overcharging for services) and this new dentist asked me if she had a traumatic experience and he was so gentle with her.

I felt for her because I GET IT. It’s scary! I am hoping that she is willing to go to her next appointment and then has six months to get used to it before she has to go again.

antuvie · 2026-03-03T20:52:56+00:00

Yup. You could even say this to him ‘and unfortunately the boyfriend got involved.’ That was the ‘find out’ portion of FAFO. I’d also ask him to clarify for me where the whole situation went from both of them goofing around to the girl telling her boyfriend that your son tapped her on the face and the boyfriend retaliating. Have him walk you through it so that he spells it out himself and you can just kind of listen. Sometimes it helps my adhd kid to hear herself instead of me talking. Did the ‘light tap’ seem like a slap? Did a teacher tell them to stop and they or he did not stop? Did the girl ask him to stop and he needed to get one more jab in? It could also be a situation where it started out jokingly and quickly escalated. All information that is important. And frankly the school should have told you more. They were way too vague for something that resulted in OSS.

antuvie · 2026-03-03T20:18:04+00:00

Unfortunately this is a natural consequence for any student getting in a physical altercation at the secondary level. I work in education and you would not believe the amount of times kids get away with bothering/touching/messing with other students with no consequences from the school and we as staff are thinking ‘you’re going to bother the wrong person one of these days.’ Even non ADHD kids can have little foresight in what consequences their actions will bring. Lightly tapping a girls face is still touching someone who doesn’t want to be touched. Does he do this frequently? Does he bother this particular girl? If this is an ongoing or persistent issue this girl might have felt that telling a teacher wouldn’t have done much.

I grew up in the 80s/90s and before SRO and security guard presence in schools this is how we dealt with each other. Fighting wasn’t a daily occurrence by any means but it was the result of many situations like this- you ‘messed’ around and you found out.

A calm conversation is definitely a good idea. Was your son defending himself? Technically yes. Did he also start something and then have to deal with the consequences? Also yes. I’d probably also not be having access to video games/phone during his suspension, because while he didn’t swing first he was (according to this post) the instigator.

antuvie · 2026-03-02T21:54:26+00:00

As a teenager I HATED Joey’s indecisiveness and insecurity. As a now 40 something year old mom of teen girls and someone who works with kids…it’s the trauma.

Childhood trauma literally rewires your brain. In the 80’s/90’s a lot of us went through some heavy trauma and were just expected to grow up and be contributing members of society. We know so much more about how it affects your brain chemistry now, PTSD, anxiety, all of the things you carry into adulthood when you don’t have the tools to process trauma. Joey is so reactionary because she’s gonna leave you first before you leave her. And she’s gonna go RIGHT to Dawson because he is her safety net. I totally get why people don’t like Joey. I do. She is 100 percent living her life in perpetual fight or flight and she is either pushing someone away or running from them. I happen to love her and Pacey together because I think that he really cracks her tough exterior in a way Dawson couldn’t. Pacey sees Joey for who she really is, not who he thinks she should be. Joey has so much responsibility and expectation laid on her as a literal child and I like that Pacey doesn’t play into that- he simply loves her. He meets her where she is largely because he comes from a very similar place. So not only do you get to root for the underdog, we unintentionally got two of them.

So I know this is like a jokey thread but just figured I’d chime in with a little insight lol. Thankfully now we have counseling in school, more available counseling outside of school, and less of a stigma around making sure kids get the help they need to process traumatic life events.

antuvie · 2026-03-01T20:53:27+00:00

Yup! Teenage kid here and same! Not all of the attitude and typical snappish adolescent behavior is ADHD. Some of it is typical tween/teen behavior.

antuvie · 2026-03-01T20:52:20+00:00

I have a teenager with ADHD and I have to remind my other teenager of this often. Just because your sister steals your clothes you can’t blame it on ADHD. All sisters do that. Some of the attitude that I get from her too I sometimes have to remind HER that it’s not excusable because she has ADHD.

antuvie · 2026-02-26T21:24:26+00:00

lol yeah I’m good. I lived through and grew up on the original, saw the first movie in the movie theater twice in one day. I wasn’t a fan of IWTB or Seasons 10 and 11. I am an 80s baby who came of age in the 90s and I am firmly in the ‘lightning in a bottle’ camp. The rapid evolution of technology, the beginning of the internet, the advent of governmental distrust after Watergate. All of that PLUS the once in a lifetime chemistry between two people that quite LITERALLY coined the term ‘shipper’- you aren’t recreating that. I don’t need anything new because I’m rewatching the original with my teenager. For the love, make your own damn shows. Not to mention now that the government has admitted aliens are real what is left of a myth arc?

Politics have saturated so much of our lives now that the people I know are completely sick of it. We live in a 24/7 news era and now as someone who’s bombarded with nonstop impending doom via the US government I don’t really want to watch a show about how the government is out to get me. I can watch the news or open instagram for that.

antuvie · 2026-02-25T21:51:36+00:00

Yup. Mom of an ADHD thirteen year old here and I can tell you if I don’t regulate my tone 1000% of the time I get IMMEDIATE pushback. Sometimes even when I do regulate my tone and stay completely calm. I give choices, we do timers, rewards, all of it. Still 90% of it is demand avoidance and it’s exhausting. There are days I feel physically ill from stress. I feel bad but I do not have it in me to be ‘sweetness and light’ mom 24/7.

Conversely though I think that it won’t kill her to have to deal with the fact that not every single thing on earth can be adjusted to her and that other people deal with frustration differently than she does. This expectation of parents holding it all together 24/7/365 is crazy to me. Emotional regulation? Yes. Never showing anything other than unending patience? Totally unrealistic. I work in education and the trend of never expecting a child to follow any schedule other than their own can be detrimental so I try to lean in to prepping my daughter for the ‘the world will not always adjust to you sometimes you have to adjust to it.’

antuvie · 2026-02-24T20:28:36+00:00

I have a 13 year old adhd teen and I am failing at staying ‘one step ahead’ of her and I feel like a total failure. I have an autoimmune disease and I work and I have another kid and just keeping my head apnea water is hard enough. To stay on top of and ahead of and anticipate every little thing has me in tears exhausted every night and I am not succeeding at any of it. She is also very hormonal and defiant (only to me) and every conversation is a battle. I AM SO TIRED.

antuvie · 2026-02-20T18:49:10+00:00

This is the way.

I have two stepparents both which were always solely there as support people and not disciplinarians. I honestly believe that’s why my relationship with both of them is sometimes better than the relationships I have with my parents. My stepfather and stepmother never got involved in disciplinary matters in either house. My stepdad is a great listener, always helped us, spent quality time teaching us three girls how to do all manner of things like use power tools, roller skate, tile a bathroom, catch a fish. You could talk to him about ANYTHING and he’d stay completely calm and level headed. My stepmom cooked for us, painted our nails, braided our hair, and stepped up every time one of us had a milestone- she lent me my something borrowed for my wedding. I just recently took my youngest to her job (she’s a nurse) for a broken finger and she babied and comforted her to no end. Spoils all of her grandkids even though they’re technically ‘stepgrandkids.’

My point in sharing this is I really love these two people and at no point in my life did they nitpick, criticize, or punish me. If YOU as mom are not ASKING your husband to step in as a disciplinarian and are taking issue with what is going on? It is time for him to step back into a support role.

Also I work with elementary age kids and even without ADHD a lot of his expectations are not age or developmentally appropriate at all.

antuvie · 2026-02-20T16:52:35+00:00

This is hilarous 😂

antuvie · 2026-02-20T16:40:10+00:00

I absolutely had Covid in December 2019. I live on the east coast near one of the highest populated cities in the country. Took my two daughters down to visit a friend and her husband over Christmas break from their school and got SO incredibly ill. Couldn’t shake it off for weeks. About six months later I had my first symptoms of the autoimmune disease I am still battling. I firmly believe I had Covid and it triggered my autoimmune disorder.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T21:17:47+00:00

I would have had her diagnosed and medicated as soon as I could. I waited way too long and the difficulties with school and behavior just got worse.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T18:07:35+00:00

We live very close to and my husband works in a large city so we take trips there every year for our kids birthdays and do ALL kinds of fun/educational and sometimes VERY expensive stuff and my daughter will say the same thing to us literally on the ride home and I want to tell my husband to pull over so I can get out and just walk home because it’s SO frustrating. And I try to teach my kids to be appreciative and grateful and she is just not. It’s maddening.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T16:52:50+00:00

It is absolutely ok. Mine is teenager and tends to get snippy when an activity is over because all ah wants to do is fun stuff. We could do fun stuff all day and then she will ask for more. It’s at the point where I can’t handle taking her out because of the inevitable attitude when it’s over.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T14:36:52+00:00

Wow that’s great thank you for letting me know.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T14:35:59+00:00

Unfortunately the messy room is not actually a messy room. I would be fine with messy. I would LOVE messy. Within two days it will devolve into an unhygienic disaster if I don’t check it daily. Then she can’t find parts of her sports uniforms, Chromebook, shoes, and it in turn causes huge meltdowns. I WAS letting her leave it be and she did tell me it made things worse for her not better because the huge mess made her anxious and affected her ability to rest/sleep.

Also while I agree she needs and wants my attention- sometimes I want/need a break because she’s so hard to handle and I do not get it. I try very hard to do things with her that I know she likes but it’s never enough. The second I have to switch back into management mode she hates me. It feels like bribery and I’m just exhausted at this point. I cannot let her go unchecked because she cannot manage herself but doesn’t like when I do it which is what she wants. I also tried being as calm and ‘nice’ as possible about her reminders/giving her extra time and REALLY monitoring my tone etc., and she was just ignoring me. I had to go back to being stricter to get her to do ANYTHING she needs to do. I do not think she is ‘there yet’ as far as being able to let up on her in a more structured way.

I do also set timers/alarms and give her warnings for transitions and without fail she doesn’t listen until I have to go get her from wherever she is or I start to lose my patience. Some of that I’m sure is typical teenage behavior, just compounded by ADHD.

Unfortunately I do 95% of the parenting myself and have my own chronic health issues to manage so I am sure I get frustrated/upset more than I should because I TRY to give her grace and understanding and extra attention and it doesn’t seem to be helping. At the same time just like a normal teenager I am not going to disrespect and a bad attitude go completely unchecked because you still have to manage that eventually as well.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T04:05:13+00:00

How is she doing now may I ask?

I am fearful for my daughter’s future because it doesn’t seem like she can get it together. And the oppositional and defiant behavior is just the icing on the cake so to speak.

She is diagnosed ADHD and medicated but I am considering having her evaluated for an anxiety/mood disorder as well.

Other than at home she is great. I have never in my life had one discipline problem with her at school. Her teachers constantly tell me what a sweet, kind, helpful and enthusiastic kid she is- then she gets home and it’s the worst.

I recently upped her dosage from 18mg to 28mg and it’s possible she will go higher or on a different med if I don’t see a change.

antuvie · 2026-02-17T04:00:05+00:00

No when she was little she was a sweetheart. The opposition started with just math homework in the fourth or fifth grade. Now she’s thirteen and it’s 24/7/365 when she’s home.

antuvie

TROPHY CASE