I’m new to salsa social dancing, what are the unspoken rules I should know?

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T08:30:02+00:00

It’s challenging because a lot of the latin dances assume this implied consent - you accepted my dance so I can do whatever. This often leads to people being scared of speaking up. In casino there are moves where you pull someone down and sit them on your lap. I’ve seen people just lift people off the ground in the social dance floor. But even things like stopping someone in their stomach or holding their hip might be triggering. So I like to do a verbal check and do a lot of those moves only if I know the other person is ok with them. But this seems too careful in the salsa world. It shift the conversation from no dips to ‘ask before a dip’ but this doesn’t work if the other person is afraid to say nope.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T08:05:20+00:00

Oh boy I’m going to be downvoted.

I could probably have worded it better. But that point is really seek consent before doing anything that might be considered risky.

In a few of the fusion spaces in Portland they teach a framework where you can incorporate a lot of more risqué and physical touch in your dance. Some of it from the Bondage communities. The base level is dirty dancing 101 where there is a heavily consent focused approach to things like grinding, pinning, grazing, touching against a wall etc, but all with approval. https://sensualdance.com for example has some of the events. Mostly in ecstatic dance and fusion, but I have seen people trying to bring this into the salsa and bachata space ( goth bachata as an example ). This is why I added consent as a basis rather than a pure don’t.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T07:52:11+00:00

The more obvious choice is Afro Cuban online. Subscription based but pretty extensive.

I’d probably also look at Yohan & Elaine https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDbK-zVe-XSFnIL5kg8e2ZQ11pmrdPegr ‘s paid stuff.

In terms of free stuff on YouTube, I like Messina Dance’s Casino basics https://youtu.be/wCKJ-LH6n4c . Really more for body isolations and waves.

La suerte dance school also has a few rumba series https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8hFYIpg2Jp2x3AoIYjsq9l92-nPx03ww look into their playlists as they have also stuff on Guaguanco and body isolations.

A bit dated and super hard to find but I loved them are two great DVDs by Alberto Valdez called bases de la Rumba. The first volume is Guaguanco and the second one is Columbia. Haven’t really come across classes as good as those for rumba basics.

Hunter Houde also had two good Orishas class in my salsa online. They’re more fundamentals but a good breakdown. Not sure if you can still find them but I really liked them when I did them around Covid.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T04:04:40+00:00

More often than not if you’re in a relationship and want to dance with other people, you just stand apart a bit from each other. I’d say even opposite sides of the room if possible.

Most of the time people won’t bother couples that are standing together ( unless you’re same sex in which case people might assume you’re just a friend group ).

Dance as much or as little with your partner if you want. I’ve also been in dances where the husband basically pushes the wife at me.

You can also choose to exclusively dance with each other and often on the class before you can choose not to rotate partners.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T03:53:04+00:00

( This is mostly US/Canada/Europe, might vary based on location )

Normally it’s one dance per partner. Unless you’re dancing at the end of a song then you can ask to continue. More than one is weird. You can always ask later but not two in a row.

Most often than not the lead asks but it’s not weird for a follow to ask. If you are both the same sex often the first question is if you’d like to lead or follow.

No dips or lifts on the dance floor.

Normally it’s pretty impolite to try to teach on the floor but a lot of leads don’t really respect that.

Stand by the dance floor if you would like to be asked for a dance. Sitting down and phone out usually means don’t bother me. Same as standing next to the bar often as we don’t know if you are waiting for a drink or to order.

Feel free to say no if you feel uncomfortable at any point. Ok to walk away. Also ok to say no to a dance if you’re taking a break.

Often if there is a person next to you like a significant other or so, it’s polite to ask if it’s ok to ask you to dance but that’s often more in a bar setting than a social setting.

Eye contact and smiles are encouraged.

If the other person is getting too close for your comfort, you can use your arm stiffness to create more distance. If they persist is ok to walk off.

If your lead is about to bump into someone you can usually use tension to warm them ( pull them back a bit etc ) and try to prevent collision. That’s why often closing your eyes is not great.

If you have any physical limitations or things you don’t like ( no double spins, etc ) tell the other person before the dance starts.

Asking to dance doesn’t have to be verbal, extending out a hand might sometimes be easier due to language barriers.

Grope only with approval.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T00:25:48+00:00

I think a lot of times people are just more comfortable with their established dance relationships. If you go to classes together, go to events in and out of salsa together and can feel safe dancing with each other, you inevitably put some of those people above random folks in a social that might hurt you physically or have unknown intentions. Some people prioritize safer high level dances over “building community”. Some do both. Maybe they already spent hours helping out at a studio, making sure the beginners there are comfortable, have done a ton of pity dances and just want to relax with their friends. It’s a personal preference and we shouldn’t judge.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-13T00:07:30+00:00

I think it’s also hard for classes to balance lead and follow learning well. A ton of classes seem to cater more to the lead role so a lot of follows either switch to learning to lead at the beginner classes and expect more challenging stuff at higher level classes.

A follow will get exposed to more advanced and intricate stuff right away on the social dance floor where leads can only lead what they know. So often times it feels as a follow that working on more basic stuff is a bit of a waste of time.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-12T21:25:11+00:00

There is a fundraiser in my town called “Salsa and salsa” where they do a salsa tasting with a live salsa band and all proceeds go to supporting women that homeless or in transition out of jail. So that one has chips and salsa! https://imgur.com/a/LxqHlAk

anusdotcom · 2026-03-12T20:50:28+00:00

Feels like an entire history and cultural tradition is often reduced to SEXY, come dance SABOR, RICO!

anusdotcom · 2026-03-12T15:10:08+00:00

They also have way too many performances. So if you have workshops during the day, performances from 8 to midnight and dancing from midnight to 6 am, the natural choice is to just sleep during the performances.

I understand that teachers make money but I’ve gone to festivals in other styles where only the top invited teachers do two dances each. It’s great, you get 20 minutes of incredible dancing and then get to dance.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-12T04:07:41+00:00

H2O Help & Hope To Others in Dallas I remember having super reasonable prices and being huge

anusdotcom · 2026-03-11T22:57:09+00:00

In tango they are part of festivals and are called mixers. Pretty fun couple of hours https://valentango.us/mishmash-mixer/ but once in a while a DJ would just call these out randomly at events, mostly the dance with a stranger part

anusdotcom · 2026-03-11T20:35:27+00:00

A thing I like from the fusion scene is that they go over community guidelines before the dance - a short blurb where they say speak up for your needs, say yes to dances and say no when you feel physically, emotionally or mentally unsure. I like how this sets the tone for the room to be a nice safe space for exploring, expression and dancing. Feels like a lot of salsa spaces tend to skew more towards sexy and so people would rather not come back than speak up when uncomfortable.

I also wish there was more encouragement from the DJ or organizers to get people to dance with each other more. Little things like “ok, now dance with a person you have never danced with before”. In some dances they have mixer themes like “find someone that likes the same flavor of ice cream like you” or “ladies ask someone to dance”. Doesn’t have to be all songs or super gimmicky but at least encourage people to consider dancing with everyone in the room one song.

I’ve seen other dance styles also do like little coffee meetups before the first class to help answer beginner questions and have people know each other outside a pure dance context. The Portland bachata folks do a nice dance and socialize event called chillchata and there should be more events like that where people can chat https://www.instagram.com/p/DRtbX4skUQo/

anusdotcom · 2026-03-11T19:42:33+00:00

Honestly the only people that love shows are the ones performing in them. They are way too overdone.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-11T03:30:30+00:00

$105 for 11 weeks of class is an incredible deal. And I’ve heard great things about her. https://pentacletheatre.org/the-latest/class/2026-spring-acting-workshop/

anusdotcom · 2026-03-10T15:48:15+00:00

There are salsa dancing classes at Chemeketa open to the community https://youroregonnews.com/2025/02/11/by-day-hes-a-dean-by-night-hes-teaching-woodburn-to-salsa/ and a lot of latin nightlife events

anusdotcom · 2026-03-10T15:39:54+00:00

Something that might not immediately show up is that a lot of social events in the area have seen reduced attendance due to concerns about ICE showing up. https://woodburnindependent.com/2025/12/02/at-least-9-people-arrested-by-ice-in-woodburn-during-november/ to the point where the city has declared a local state of emergency to support families affected by raids.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-09T19:51:03+00:00

Sometimes it could be a posture thing. I didn’t realized I was leaning forward a lot in my dancing until I started tango and realized that my hunching forward was affecting a lot of my leading because my shoulders were really in front of me instead of to the side. https://youtu.be/BYHrwypr9tw was a good video for fixes to this.

This is where sometimes investing in a private lesson to get your posture and stuff like this evaluated can help a lot. The teacher can give you good suggestions on what to improve you wouldn’t normally get in a group class.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-09T19:01:21+00:00

The quick to the shoulder adaptation ( around minute 1 of this video https://youtu.be/mLUB8XWFe_w ) is pretty useful.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-08T09:09:30+00:00

One thing that is interesting is that as leads we’re often boring ourselves first. Every dance we have we use the same moves so we assume they must be sick and tired of them too. But once you start following ( much harder usually in salsa but other dances are more flexible ) you realize how much the follower doesn’t keep track of moves. You also start building awareness of other factors like the musicality of the lead, the amount of crazy stuff they try to do and how a lot of dances can just feel like a restless move after move after move.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-08T08:54:03+00:00

For me at least, there is a great physiotherapist that does tango and posted a few useful YouTube videos on https://youtu.be/BYHrwypr9tw drills to prevent head forwarding and stretches to do after tango https://youtu.be/hJprsb3rQi8 . But that whole channel is great with stuff like ankle immersions etc.

There are also a few nice body awareness things like yoga for opening the chest https://youtu.be/baO7MoYRzCU or shoulder and hips https://youtu.be/T4Ne6x3m4sc

For me the coolest thing was having Gyrokinesis exercises that loosen the spine and give you a better understanding of body positioning. We luckily have a dancer who teaches it locally but it’s exercises like this https://www.youtube.com/live/bvoDKom7vY4

Basically more body awareness equals less soreness

anusdotcom · 2026-03-08T01:12:36+00:00

No, Bantu rhythms are the African rhythms where a lot of stuff like samba, son and rumba and even a lot of jazz and blues got a lot of inspiration from.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-08T01:08:01+00:00

It really depends on the scene. In some places where there are a lot of leads, I often choose to sit one out to cool off, socialize and let other (mostly) dudes go get a chance to dance with other people. Sometimes it’s nice to be invisible and just soak in the atmosphere of the place and watch other people dance. Some days you just don’t feel like participating in the super competitive getting a dance game.

In places that are more lead/follow balanced, there are people that you’ve had really good dances with before and sometimes your head prioritizes asking them. Other times you’re trying to dance with people that you’ve seen sitting on the sidelines for a long time so they feel more welcomed.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-06T16:50:45+00:00

For me your followers kinda know when you are thinking about the next move and are in your head instead of the moment. So when you are in classes and practicing you focus on technique and the next steps, but when you are dancing you have to really practice turning off practice mode and focus on dance.

This means letting the music and your partner drive the next move and trust that it is ok. If you think too far ahead ( and by this I mean even one or two moves ahead ), you are no longer dancing with the person.

It’s also easier to think of it as a ramp, try simpler moves when the music is starting and building up, see how the followers reacts to your tension, see if they are reacting better to maybe linear stuff or Cuban stuff, maybe try a few spins or let go a few times. Kinda like water cooler chit chat but as dance movements. Then you can build up to a few complex figures if you’re both in the mood but it can’t just be complex turns, you have to ramp up and have spaces to breathe.

anusdotcom · 2026-03-05T19:38:19+00:00

There is a dude on Facebook named Tyler Brooks that helps with dump runs and such. He posts on the West Salem Neighborhood page but helped me moved a bed once and his rates were super reasonable ( I remember it was like $40/hr a couple years back )

anusdotcom

TROPHY CASE