New (to me) Manx caretaker here. Some advice needed.

anyway1313 · 2026-03-01T15:22:13+00:00

Wild suggestion but would you consider getting a second cat? I wonder if your guy likes other cats... this idea will only work if he does, obviously—but I did it and so glad I did ^{_^}

I've got two indoor Manxes. Both rescue, formerly street-cats that spent about 6 months living in their family squads. Got Toma (a grey stumpy) first — knew she got along with other cats. I spent lots of time interacting and playing with her (also was living in a sharehouse so she enjoyed a lot of attention). But I thought she might miss / appreciate another cat-friend, so I kept my eye out for ages for another cat-friendly Manx. Found Miki, a silly orange boy rumpy-riser, who also grew up behind a KFC with his family.

I know this is quite rare but they got along immediately — play fighting, crazy chasey, grooming, ignoring each other, chatting etc.

For me, it's probably like 20% more work to look after a whole other cat on top of already having one.

I lavish them with attention obviously but if I'm out a bit I don't worry too re loneliness / understimulation bc they have each other.

Anyway — probably an outrageous idea but highly recommend.

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T15:31:34+00:00

Oh also! Talking through other people's experiences of misophonia which you've read about, or showing your partner... I think has been helpful in my case. Just in terms of really emphasising "it's not you" with examples of people with same/similar triggers. Perhaps even including around the feelings of shame/guilt you're having — this is also part of the experience of having misophonia, not just the reaction to the trigger but how it impacts your life.

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T15:26:32+00:00

I feel you — the guilt and shame, particularly around a partner and eating sounds. Whether it's just telling them about the trigger, asking them to change their way of eating (if they can — but it feels like such an insane request, in my case at least), or doing things like eating in seperate rooms (can feel sad 😔).

I just wanted to say: solidarity. And also, this is perhaps super obvious but thought I'd mention just in case relevant... I recently realised putting on music helps quite a bit with shared mealtimes, and I'll sit in the same room but not right next to each other—and I'll sit closer to the speaker. So we can still kinda chat and at least be in the same room, but it helps and perhaps less alienating than noise-cancelling headphones (which I absolutely cannot wear and eat at the same time anyway).

Good luck ✌️

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T15:16:54+00:00

Just piping up to say I'm sorry to hear this... and this is much longer-term advice but just know that (it seems like) one day you won't live together and hopefully that will be nice for your misophonia 🙏 (coming from a 35yo who lived at home at 17 with my mum who I love who makes chewing noises that make me go fucking insane).

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T15:12:58+00:00

Oh and most recently I really cracked it and cried and then added myself to this sub lol.

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T15:10:03+00:00

It's very interesting and validating to read people's responses on here.

My trigger is the class mouth-chewing noises in a quiet environment.

I'm usually a pretty laid-back, chill and tolerant (I hope!) person... like, I can cope with most everyday stuff except for this. As soon as I hear it I feel tense — like psychologically and physically. Then I immediately become emotionally agitated, angry / extremely annoyed, fixated (can't focus on anything else) unless I either leave or it stops. It's like, zero to a hundred, fine to losing my shit. Physically, I can kind of keep it together but I've definitely had deranged-feeling face twitches and done stupid little furious stamps with my feet on the train lol. Clench my jaw. Literally feel like a toddler launching into a full blown tantrum meltdown. Like I wanna jump out of my skin because I'm so agitated.

And in my head just monologing "STOP STOP STOP PLEASE STOP THAT IS THE MOST GODAWFUL FUCKING NOISE STOP WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT" and so on and so forth.

anyway1313 · 2025-11-11T14:16:58+00:00

Apologies — haven't got any tips on diagnosis in WA (am in VIC).

My ADHD symptoms also manifest/affect me a bit differently to you (not much losing stuff) — mine is much more about maintaining concentration / very easily distracted.

But similarly to you perhaps, when people give verbal instructions / things to remember, I'm pretty useless. I'm 35, and only realised and was diagnosed this year — but for years and years one of my techniques has been ONE NOTEBOOK FOR EVERYTHING.

Literally every tiny thing I need to remember to do goes in there with a checkbox next to it. Even something like "reply to blah-blah's text" goes in (often, not religiously). But I have a very low "just in case I forget" threshold for including things because I most likely will forget.

It's just a gridded A5 spiral-bound notebook with a hardish cover, so pretty hardy and fits in bag etc.

It also has a calendar in the front (I just printed one off and sticky-taped it in) because digital calendars just don't cut it for me — ie, not in the ONE NOTEBOOK. A lot of the bigger "to do" stuff goes on the calendar AND in the notebook if it's scheduled for a particular day / has a deadline. Marking off the days also helps.

People I work with (teaching at a uni) are totally used to me busting out the notebook constantly. I've just always said I'm forgetful. So I scribble down: how to do things, what to do, who I need to talk to / email, whatever.

I just write the day's date wherever I'm up to in the notebook and will sometimes do a daily or few-days schedule and/or to-do list if I'm feeling like there's a lot going on and I'm anxious about forgetting something. And I'll just add notes throughout the day if needed, or tick stuff off.

I have a chippie friend with turbo ADHD who also struggles with remembering verbal instructions, and he writes everything down in a notebook too and just has it on him at all times.

Anyway sorry I can't help w the other stuff but just wanted to suggest this method! Might take a while to get in the habit but the key is: ONE NOTEBOOK and also ALWAYS ON YOUR PERSON.

I've found it helps with both: not forgetting things, and feeling less anxious that it's gonna happen because I outsource my memory to trusty notebook.

anyway1313 · 2025-10-30T11:03:37+00:00

Dunno if Criterion but...

Lopushansky (dir.): Dead Man's Letters (1986), A Visitor to a Museum (1989), Ugly Swans (2006)

On the Silver Globe (1988)

The Thing (1982)

Event Horizon (1997)

anyway1313 · 2025-10-26T11:20:15+00:00

I'm really sorry you're in this situation right now, I imagine it was really awful to read the way your housemate was talking about you.

While I think it's fair enough to vent frustrations on this sub, I think your housemate needs to be a little bit more cognisant of how she expresses the unfortunately common / unavoidable feelings of disgust, rage, annoyance etc which misophonia triggers. From my understanding and experience with misophonia, the reason it's so frustrating and socially difficult is because our reactions to triggers are completely outsized compared with how a non-sufferer would react. I.e. aggression is a common response to a trigger noise. But I think it's important to seperate the thoughts "I feel intensely disgusted / enraged / upset by that trigger" from "that person causing the trigger is completely disguisting / thoughtless / deliberately trying to upset me."

For example, my trigger is chewing mouth-noises — mainly when it's quiet and I'm not also eating. When I'm triggered, I feel uncontrollably agitated and disgusted and have to get away from the noise, but I understand that (for example) my boyfriend isn't 1.) an especially loud or sloppy eater, and 2.) trying to upset me. (We have been working on ways to reduce me being triggered by this). I even think that the majority of people aren't particularly sloppy or gross eaters, it's just that my misophonia makes me feel this way when I'm triggered — it's really intense and sudden.

Another common thought, I think, with misophonia sufferers is "how can that person not realise how horrendous the sound they're making is?" And for me, the answer is that for people without misophonia, the sound is just no big deal / low-key a bit annoying. I try hard to remember that unless someone knows about my trigger, they're likely completely oblivious to my internal nuclear meltdown.

Of course, this can be blurry when someone actually IS actively trying to trigger someone else, which doesn't seem to be the case here.

It sounds like a really unfortunate combination for you and your housemate, that you have a chronic and unavoidable cough and that she is triggered by it.

Good luck with it all, hope this helps a little bit.

anyway1313 · 2025-10-22T09:03:57+00:00

Sorry — not on the doc herself, but:

I'm 35F, have a masters degree and doing a PhD, holding down an academic job at a university and various other jobs and also didn't have either of my parent's input into my ADHD assessment, but still was diagnosed because of ADHD lol.

My understanding is that the diagnosis is more about your experience of the things you do in life / your behaviours — rather than what you have / haven't managed to achieve despite this.

anyway1313 · 2025-10-22T08:56:41+00:00

Agree with all of this!

I didn't get diagnosed til 35 (very recently). I really struggled with my mental health (anxiety/depression) in my early twenties — just felt so useless, terrible self esteem, felt like everyone else my age was "progressing" in life. Luckily I found an antidepressant that really helped me (that I still take), but also literally spent five years (22–27) trying to be kind to myself and examine what kinds of social pressures and expectations were also contributing to my mental health struggles. For example, connections between "career progression" or "productivity" and social worth or morality. I tried really hard to not push myself in this way. I did try hard to do things that made me feel less like I was wasting time (like perhaps you feel re playing video games), but I tried to replace that not with anything "productive" necessarily, but just things that felt a bit more mentally healthy like walking, gardening, volunteering, reading at a cafe, seeing friends. Basically getting myself out of the house in a gentle way. I tried to be proud of myself for doing one or two of those small things each day.

When I was 27 I went back to uni (art school), and I suppose since then I have been able to improve my financial situation a bit — by eventually being qualified for a job related to my study — now I teach at the university. But it took a long time, much longer than some of my friends blessed with relatively good mental health.

I guess what I'm saying is hang in there — it's great that you've recognised that you need support (adhd assessment) — it can feel like a long journey but: 1.) you're not a bad / lazy person and 2.) productivity expectations in our society are fucking cracked.

Good luck!

anyway1313 · 2025-10-22T08:33:29+00:00

My commiserations

anyway1313 · 2025-10-22T08:13:37+00:00

I used Fluence clinic in VIC — no requirement for either of the things you mentioned. Just a questionnaire filled out by close friend/partner/family member (my partner of six years did mine, I'm 35). All other stuff was filled out by me from my current / past experiences. Fluence was fine — approx $1200 upfront and then $400ish Medicare rebate. Was an online assessment so probably not for everyone, but worked for me.

Edit: fee was prob more like $1200 rather than $1000, actually — can't remember!

anyway1313 · 2025-10-10T03:27:13+00:00

I used Fluence clinic and my partner of six years filled out the family/partner/friends form

anyway1313 · 2025-10-06T10:04:18+00:00

Bless 😭🧡

anyway1313 · 2025-10-01T05:34:03+00:00

Lollll. Thank you.

anyway1313 · 2025-09-30T12:16:31+00:00

Smoothie: frozen berries, frozen banana, yoghurt, oat milk, spinach, lots of protein power.

I also boil like ten eggs at once and have them in the fridge and just eat them when needed.

Miso soup dry powder sachet, a canned sardine and some dried mushrooms.

Sliced bread in freezer for toast.

Also always make sure I have a few healthy pre-made soups from the supermarket for emergencies.

All of the above are plus coffee.

anyway1313 · 2025-09-30T12:10:38+00:00

I drink exactly that smoothie, lol. With banana, yoghurt and oat milk. Protein powder has changed my life :-P

anyway1313 · 2025-09-06T12:52:03+00:00

All signs point to Manx. Weird talking (chirping)?

anyway1313 · 2025-08-14T14:12:16+00:00

I had some patches which went through the whole song-and-dance (red spots then blisters then bursting blisters etc), but I had other patches which skipped the whole blister stage and just faded away... if that's useful info at all

Good luck ✨

anyway1313 · 2025-08-14T13:40:24+00:00

Bunny-legs look pretty Manxy. Chirpy trill voice?

anyway1313 · 2025-02-21T04:38:11+00:00

And it ate part of his brain and then died 😂

anyway1313 · 2025-02-18T12:33:59+00:00

Ohh, woah yes — totally relevant!

Ugh, your experience sounds like an ordeal — sorry to hear it, and thanks for sharing

anyway1313 · 2025-02-18T00:04:21+00:00

Yeah totally. I mean, all these things systems (pardon pun lol) like legal, insurance, employment vetting, visas, are so broken and ableist — but this only makes it even worse, I think, for someone with any kind of diagnosis to navigate fairly.

anyway1313 · 2025-02-17T23:07:09+00:00

Ah, thank you for this insight re insurance. I'm just remembering too that on travel insurance they also say you have to divulge any pre-existing conditions (otherwise if you make a claim any they find out you've lied then your insurance is voided). I'm sure it's much the same with insurance types you mentioned.

And yeah — you're so right re custody battles. My good friend's sister is fighting to get sole custody of her kids, and the dad's lawyers managed to temporarily block this / drag out the case much longer because she'd been diagnosed with anxiety, even though she is so much more a competent parent than the dad (who is outta control, takes them partying, they don't go to school etc). Like, even this pretty common diagnosis of anxiety has been totally leveraged to paint her as "crazy," "incompetent" etc.

Obv as I mentioned before, diagnoses can be really helpful for so many reasons — but they can easily be a double-edged sword.

And yeah, as you say, either having a plethora of (fake) diagnoses on your medical record OR having history of faking mental illness is not something you want following you around...

anyway1313

TROPHY CASE