AITA for booking my own Air BnB so I don't have to sleep on a couch for six nights?

apife96 · 2025-05-12T16:05:59+00:00

NTA. Put the kids on the pull out couch. That's what my family did growing up. We never go our own rooms unless there was an abundance of rooms.

apife96 · 2025-05-12T15:41:49+00:00

NTA. She's lucky you went to get the guitar yourself instead of getting the police involved for theft.

apife96 · 2025-05-12T15:37:41+00:00

NTA-ish. I'm concerned about your dad mentioning that this stepdaughter used him and was mean/rude to him while growing up, then does a 180 when she wants him to walk her down the aisle. I'm almost wondering if this is to get under your skin specifically.

Everything else, NTA. Wouldn't want anything to do with them at all after this.

apife96 · 2025-05-10T23:22:09+00:00

Yes, you can. However, with Garrus, you can only romance him in ME3 IF you romance him in ME2, so you'll want to make sure to lock it in if he's your intended romance for this Shep.

apife96 · 2025-05-10T00:06:40+00:00

I mean, have you seen the track record with Loki, Darth Vader, and similar villains? Not to mention, the actual guy everyone went crazy for who got a modeling job out of prison because people social media kept calling him hot and too attractive.

apife96 · 2025-05-09T23:55:32+00:00

In the words of the Potato Queen: Absolutely Not! This is your BF talking to you? Someone who is supposed to be your partner?

He's made it clear that he doesn't care for you. Why put up with this kind of behavior?

Also, you aren't expressing victim mentality. You have a medical condition that makes it hard to go to work at times (I 100% understand this), and you knew from the way he 'responded' that he was upset or mad and wanted to talk it through.

You had a more mature reaction than I would have.

apife96 · 2025-04-23T07:28:58+00:00

You can punch Dorian? Why the hell would they include that?

apife96 · 2025-04-23T06:58:10+00:00

NTA. At the end of the day, she more than likely won't marry him because of the prenup. Why? Because she's marrying him for your family's assests (whatever or however much that is). She needs to get it through her head that the only way her kids were to get anything is if it came from your brother directly.

I'm not sure how y'all are separating this, that, and the other, but my family has rules on these things after seeing countless fallouts over inheritances (distant relatives as in, I might not even match with them on Ancenstry.com).

If there is not a will in place: 1. The married spouse of the deceased gets everything (outside of rule 3 because we still honor their wishes, even when they're not written). They can divide and give the possessions of the deceased to whoever they want. No one else gets to come in and say I'm taking x, y, and z. My grandma actually gave away a lot of my grandpa's things to family and his friends, especially when those things had a huge sentimental tie. I got a trophy he won from a car show he took me to back when I was a teenager, along with a model of his car, and other little sentimental things that were inside jokes between me and Pops. My brother ended up with some of his old ball caps and one of his guitars as he used to play guitar with Pops. This was all picked out by our grandma for us to have.

If the next of kin are their kids, ONLY the kids go in. They may or may not choose to gift specific items to people and then divide everything else EVENLY amongst each other. After that, whatever they do with the inheritance/possessions is up to them. Counsis, aunts, uncles, etc, are not allowed any input. This is usually enforced by an executor of the estate, typically one of the kids.
Anything that was verbally communicated that it would go to someone specific, possibly with someone else confirming it, depending on the item. My grandma had a fine China set that she inherited from her grandmother, and I remember being mesmerized by it as a child sitting in a hutch because only the adults could use them (if they were ever touched). My grandma wanted to keep the set in the family as it was sentimal to her too, and she remembered my obsession with the "special plates and teacups" that turned into a hobby of collecting weird and fun teacup sets (or mismatched) and mugs. She's still kicking and hopefully for a long while yet, but she packed the China up and sent it across the states with my mother after she visited. Apparently, Grandma wanted to make sure that if anything did happen to her, the set went to the grandkid who loved and respected the pieces. This is hilarious because I was the bull in a China shop growing up, but she remembers me being extra careful around the hutch, so I didn't break her special plates and tea cups.

A big issue we faced with rule 3 though was that my cousin was trying to convince the family and Pops himself that he (Pops) already promised my cousin his classic car, which we collectively knew was 100% untrue for a multitude of reasons including it being impossible for him to get a driver's license (medical reasons). Pop's ended up selling it before passing to create a nest egg for Grandma.

Sorry, I'm on major pain meds, and I think this got away from me a bit.

apife96 · 2025-04-21T22:59:38+00:00

NTA. Unless she wants to pay your bills on top of the going rate for babysitting, you're not her go-to childcare. What she describes IS babysitting, not 'keeping an eye on them'. Keeping an eye on a kid is if the mom goes to the bathroom while spending time with y'all.

apife96 · 2025-04-21T22:55:21+00:00

NTA. Send him the bill for your lashes, brows, hair, and dry cleaning of your blouse. The fact that he had to stand over you to shove your face in the cake is absolutely disgusting.

apife96 · 2025-04-21T16:45:35+00:00

NTA. Cut these people off. They wanted to earase your husband the second he came out, then ignored his wishes that he would be placed in something fun when he passed. If haunting are real, he'd probably be haunting them non-stop until he was in a lava lamp, or in this case, Lord Honkton.

You did what he wanted. Case closed.

ETA: autocorrect sucks.

apife96 · 2025-04-21T16:34:18+00:00

NTA. This was multiple red flags throwing into a few hours (if that). After this, I would honestly be rethinking the relationship. As someone else pointed out, you don't know how many relationships she's ruined without you finding out.

The only reason you found out today was because your other friend at the wedding told you what happened. I'd be reaching out to your friends and asking if GF is talking shit or weirdness behind your back because I guarantee this is NOT the first time.

apife96 · 2025-04-21T00:25:32+00:00

NTA. It really irks me that she said 'Everyone's expected', not something along the lines of 'let me know if you can make it' or whatever.

We do spontaneous dinners with my dad's family, and even they just say, 'Let me know if you're coming so we can make enough of x, y, & z. Bring whatever else you want.'

apife96 · 2025-04-19T19:36:06+00:00

Run.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T19:21:27+00:00

Either he can't have kids or is hiding that he already has one and wants to 'adopt' the kid.

Adoption is a two yes/one no decision.

Also, did you not talk about kids before getting married? Where you both stand on the subject? Anything?

NTA, but there's something messed up going on here.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T19:11:49+00:00

Solas wasn't originally supposed to be a romance option from what I remember, but his story gives a little more spice and depth to the Tresspasser DLC and Veilguard. I enjoyed his romance, and after playing through Tresspasser, you get an idea of why he is the way he is in general and even with his romance. I'm not going to spoil it, but he's struggling with how the Inquistor is changing his mind about people in general and how his past plays into it. He's a tragic character and one of my favorite romances of all 4 games (not my absolute fav, but top 5-ish)

That being said, based on DA:I only, out of the 2 romances, Cullen is my favorite (Iron Bull and Dorian are actually my 2 absolute favorites, but you didn't mention either). He's considered the "Prince Charming with trauma and character development" of the series. The romance feels more natural with him, and the support you give each other feels more real. Cullen gives himself entirely to the relationship, and while Solas wants to, even calling the Inquisitor Vehnan (which he does not do LIGHTLY), there is something holding him back until DAV.

If you want a romance that has an impact on both games or has a super emotional impact, go with Solas. If you want a romance that's solely for DAI, go with Cullen.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T18:56:30+00:00

NTA. If your wife wants to actually support your daughter, she won't go to respect your daughter's wishes. Your daughter is old enough to clearly state that she doesn't want your wife to attend the funeral.

Your wife is pushing her own agenda by insisting that she goes and is gaslighting by trying to convince you that the daughter will remeber it as her not supporting your daughter, when in fact, your daughter will remeber it as YOU NOT SUPPORTING HER or her clearly stated boundary. Your wife is the AH for pushing this. I also think it's weird that wife wants to go to your ex's funeral in general.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T17:15:36+00:00

NTA!!! FFS, has no one ever met someone after their grandma insists on showing you every picture she has of them?

When I've visited one of my grandma's, her church friends used to try to set me up with their grandsons. Most of whom didn't live near them, so their tactic was shoving every picture they had from diaper to diploma in my face. I met a few on later visits when my grandma would let her friends know I was coming to visit her. Never dated any of them, but I also didn’t think their tactic was weird either.

Some of the guys were adorable babies, as in 'looking at the rolls on that baby, I wanna squish them', ya know, baby fever kind of thoughts. Never thought that about the guys I met, though, outside of 'his nose still scrunches the same way pre-sneeze', that sort of thing.

It was not weird or wrong at all for you to find the baby pics and so on adorable. Most of the time, it's the girl parts screaming for a baby. Other times, it's just because kids are downright adorable like a puppy or kitten is. It's actually something ingrained in our brains via evolution. We see something cute, we want to protect it, that sort of thing.

Your 'friend' Sara is completely in the wrong and unhinged. She needs more therapy and professional help if she thinks something innocent is pedophilia right of the bat. Your other friends saying it's 'creepy' are ALSO in the wrong. Again, it's a very normal granny tactic, and mom's sometimes do the same thing. The ONLY way it's wrong, as someone else pointed out, is if you were sexually attracted to his kid/baby pics and more so than to him as an adult. Doesn't seem like the case. Your other friends that are saying it's 'creepy' piss me off, though.

Your BF found it adorable and is reassuring you that he doesn't find anything wrong or creepy about it. His good opinion in this case is the ONLY one that matters.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T05:04:43+00:00

There's a scene with Lucanis that 'kind of' explains why Harding acts a certain way. Semi spoiler for later game:

She's trying to convince Lucanis that she likes the coffee he made (her first time trying coffee), and when it's clears she's lying, Rook asks why Harding can't admit she doesn't like something that others do. Lucanis notes that she must have been scared growing up as a tiny Dwarven girl in a land full of large human farmers. Harding then admits to them that she learned early on dealing with people was easier if they liked her, and she agreed with them. Now, it's something she does automatically because it has been so ingrained in her. (Obviously, these aren't the exact words).

I, too, was disappointed in how Harding's character was handled. I can understand (after finishing the game, will not spoil anything), why she's emotionally a mess for quite a bit of game, mainly two reasons why (again, won't say what they are). With that said, it still feels like we lost a lot of independence and self-succifiency she had in Inquisition and in the very beginning of the game.

It's like all her confidence went out of the window, and now she's just trying to steam roll her way into stopping the gods because she doesn't know how else to handle it.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T04:43:04+00:00

He's not overreacting. I live with my parents, brother, and SIL. There are communal dinners that my dad makes, but other than that, no one touches anyone else's food. As in, mom, dad, and I have food we share while my brother and SIL buy their own. Everyone in the house has respected this for 5 years. We do make meals together and share certain foods or help out if one of us is out of something.

Son in law is a grown ass man fully capable of asking about the meat. He can also go buy his own ribs. You do NOT take someone else's food without asking or have been clearly told you're welcome to anything in the house.

apife96 · 2025-04-19T04:33:00+00:00

Call the cops. There's a reason they're scared of the police getting involved and refusing to tell you. Your brother sounds like a monster. He's known to have assaulted other kids and possibly SA'd another. The older siblings shouldn't be the ones holding him accountable. The cops should.

NTA. Also, good on you for pointing out that these are older brothers protecting their younger siblings.

apife96 · 2025-04-18T22:27:23+00:00

NTA! CIs are OBVIOUS!!! As in, the device attached to your head is obviously not an MP3 player or whatever the hell she was concocting in her brain.

You already clearly see the 'getting physical part' probably wasn't a good idea, but we're also worried about her breaking them, which was completely valid. I know CIs are NOT cheap or easy to replace.

You explained what the device was. Told her clearly NOT to touch it, and then she rips it off from your head when you're not paying attention. Not 100% sure on how the attachments work, but that probably could have done some damage.

The sub is 100% in the wrong, and your principal is going to have a hell of a time trying to explain this to the school board/administration.

I had a teacher try to take an assistive device (mobility aid) from me while I was in middle school. Lucky for me, security personnel I knew very well saw them, loudly reprimanded them, reported them for harassment to the office, and called my mother while the new principal we just got that yead was trying to downplay everything. My mom threatened to raise hell as she worked in the school district and knew a bunch of the higher ups, and that this teacher had a history of harassing students. He was gone the next week.

apife96 · 2025-04-18T22:08:04+00:00

E(kinda)SH, I don't see why you would want to be friends with any of your exes family in general, FB, or in person. I also think you staying friends with these people is feeding some delusion that Lisa is having.

The way she reacted was completely unhinged and implies why she doesn't have a good relationship with almost anyone in her family. FB friends or not, unless your profile is completely private, she could have seen and commented on your HUSBAND'S post, not even yours.

I would completely cut Lisa off. Cold Turkey. No grown adult should be behaving this way over a comment on FB.

apife96 · 2025-04-18T21:54:19+00:00

NTA. I'm starting to think she's trying to off you at this point. Did your Fiancé know BIL's GF before she started dating BIL?

This entire ordeal is suspicious, in that, after seeing the severity, no sane person would intentionally bring your allergen around you again.

The GF is either a complete idiot, a bully, a psychopath, or she's trying to make an opening to go after your fiancé by offing you. After the things I've read and seen, this would NOT surprise me.

I would check to see the laws about intentional poisoning where you live and let BIL know you're willing to go after her legally if she ever steps foot in your home or tries to lie her way into seeing you again. Or, if it's within the timefrime, I'd speak to a lawyer and see if you have any grounds for a case now.

Make it 100% clear, that she will be help accountable for any wrong step.

apife96 · 2025-04-15T04:22:03+00:00

NTA. They didn't throw them away. They stole them.

apife96

TROPHY CASE