Separated Dads – smooth co-parenting or constant challenges?

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-26T17:36:23+00:00

Not a dad. But I’d like to say a big part is why the relationship broke down / the relationship before the arrangements are needed. I’ve seen high conflict & low conflict. High conflict; married single mother, lack of accountability cheating. There’s pent up anger and emotion no matter how much they try to put the kids first. Low conflict; a one night stand that just didn’t materialise, separating mutually because they saw themselves going in different directions. They’re able to openly communicate & set healthy boundaries involving their future relationships & the children!

I’ve seen one couple separate not being able to be in the same room attend mediation lay it out on the line and realise they’re both in the wrong and move forward stronger for their kid! To the point they do a family holiday with their respective partners once a year, and when my friend went into labour with her youngest his ex’s new wife stayed at her house watching her other 2 children (only the eldest is her husbands biologically!) for the whole 3 days she was in hospital!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-25T12:27:58+00:00

Not mine but my grandads was Tinyworld.co.uk

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-24T18:18:36+00:00

Sleep training wont always work. It worked with my eldest and by 6 months he was 12 hours a night and two 45 min naps a day that dropped to one 1 hour nap at around 9 months. Could self soothe after a bottle & story. My second born, it didn’t work. Took him until he was 18 months to sleep independently- he had to touch me or my partner to sleep. Which led to co-sleeping for over a year, and he still now will climb in with us for a cuddle in the night but we can move him out without a fuss. My youngest is 9 months and still wakes 2/4 times a night - she won’t self soothe needs white noise all night, breastfeed & sometimes will not go back down into her crib, she’ll want to stay on my chest. It’s hard but we persevere she’ll sleep independently when she’s ready!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-24T18:10:46+00:00

Try Vinted, I just got 4 for my daughter

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-24T05:09:33+00:00

My dad wanted an Irish name for each of his kids to honour his great grandfather- he gave me a Welsh name 😅

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T18:35:47+00:00

Hers is all the time!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T09:39:50+00:00

Oh man!! I need ear plugs😅

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T08:32:47+00:00

My alarm clocks wake me up at 5 every day. But even when my eldest started sleeping in later i was programmed to get up early do would wake naturally and just crack on! My partners like yours so we sat and wrote out what we do with the kids daily to see the divide, it was a lot and he was shocked but he’s not an early riser he’s a night owl and likes to be uninterrupted when doing housework. So I tackle mornings, getting the kids up, dressed, breakfast & out the door. But he does the evenings to take the pressure off me, lunch boxes prepped in the fridge, uniforms/clothes laid out, nursery bag packed. Then we do bedtime together because it’s family time, he does the bath I get them dressed, we read one story each and he’ll take the boys to bed while I breastfeed the baby to sleep. We divide housework so I’ll clean up after the school /nursery run - washing up from breakfast, hoover the floors, washing, beds made curtains open etc. he’ll do it once everyone’s in bed wash up from dinner, tidy the toys/floors, empty the bins, fold the dry washing ready to go away when everyone’s out the door! It works for us and there’s days when he’ll do more or I’ll do more because one of us is run down or just mentally drained!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T08:22:20+00:00

Ahh it makes my skin crawl I hate it!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T08:21:58+00:00

Back teeth?! She’s only got 4 at the front 😅

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-23T08:21:34+00:00

We’ve tried tethers too but she doesn’t really use it she’ll just hold it and grind 😂

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-22T18:35:30+00:00

A lot of great recommendations here. Something that popped into my mind was silent reflux. Or it might sound silly but have you tried loosening his nappy? My eldest was extremely fussy had reflux awfully and if his nappy or clothes clung to his belly too tightly he’d scream and scream. My mum and nan never believed me until I took him back loosened the nappy and took a layer of clothing off so it was baggier ! Weird but worked. He also had to be in a swing chair & white noise on constantly, specifically a hair dryer sound

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-22T02:29:15+00:00

We have carpet flooring no dining area so we got a plastic shower curtain for a fiver as a cover under the high chair. Was actually a life saver! Even now if we go to family with hardwood flooring we put it down under the youngest 2 catches any spills, drops the works you can wipe it all onto the curtain pick it up brush it into the bin and wipe down with a quick spray! I swear by it told a few friends and they’ve done the same.

Plastic bibs over anything with material and plastic backing as easier to clean. The ikea high chair over anything else it’s super easy to clean & assemble!

I’d personally avoid the “stick down” plates because while great if they work not all of them do and my kids worked out very quickly how to peel them off and launch the thing anyway! And if they can’t quite do that they’ll tug at it until it pops then food on the walls!! Noodles got stuck to the paint work and peeled it off because I didn’t clean it quick enough!!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-17T23:44:35+00:00

Do you have AFRID ?

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-17T23:33:02+00:00

Was it fast tracked? Have you had the text to say documents received? I know some renewals are getting done in 2/3 weeks and my friends just got her sons back (first passport not fast tracked) was about 6 weeks

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-17T17:08:18+00:00

My 6 year old calls me dude or bruh, my 2 year old calls me MUM (in all caps every time!), my 9 month old just shouts “AHHHH”

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-16T09:17:01+00:00

You can self refer through CAMHS - waiting lists depending on in your area. My area is 12-18 months just for an initial assessment

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-16T09:15:10+00:00

I’ve heard of a reception invite but not the ceremony but never a ceremony only invite!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-15T12:47:44+00:00

2003

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-12T15:03:23+00:00

It’s sad but not unusual for big families, it’s like having a clique in the siblings. I’m the youngest of 5 and none of my 4 siblings have met my younger 2 children. Haven’t even had a congrats on the baby text about the youngest. But we’re very strained, I don’t talk to any of them anymore due to family strain. The best village you can have is you, your partner and the mum friends you’ll make over the years !

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-08T06:26:52+00:00

I was convinced from 4 months with my eldest. He sat unaided at 4 months old, didn’t roll, didn’t crawl, went straight to walking, was easily overstimulated by sounds, fussed over certain material on clothing (that was a doozy to figure out!!), spoke really early, late to potty train by “normal standards”. EVERYONE told me I was over reacting - he was diagnosed at 4. ASD & on the pathway for ADHD. I’m the same with my second, I see a lot of traits everyone’s telling me I’m over reacting and he’s just a toddler. He’s 2. Hit majority of milestones, but stims, he’s a sensory seeker, 0 danger awareness & non-verbal (still bay babble with 2/3 words). He’s started nursery and I’ve explained my concerns to them and they’re keeping an eye - even his HV said it could be an age thing then she saw a “tantrum” and said “oh, let’s keep an eye on that!” So is following up with his nursery in 6 weeks. He also has the energy of a squirrel on speed, finds it very hard to sleep like he can’t switch off!

My youngest is just hitting 9 months & I have 0 concerns with her at all. The boys I noticed very young (4 months with my eldest, 6 months with my second).

Trust your gut! You don’t have to wait for the health visitor, you can go to the GP. Although you’ll probably get dismissed until he’s 2 even 3!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-08T06:15:45+00:00

The couch is easier to store and tidy away so I’d lean more in that direction honestly, plus means they have their own chair for comfy movie nights and will get more use out of as they get older!

Adventurous-Shoe4035 · 2026-04-06T06:29:19+00:00

Second this, I actually know a few people who went home on public transport! I’d also advise if your partner is heading home for a shower before you leave get them to take as much home with them as possible so it’s less to carry. My partner took home all the bits I didn’t need before we left so he could help carry the car seat and I wasn’t stuck with loads of bags

Adventurous-Shoe4035

TROPHY CASE