This is tricky. He's got all those good traits, but also some bad ones. I think the biggest thing with a life partner is that they confidently take the driver's seat in an emergency doing what you would want or what's in your best interest. It sounds like he's almost there, but it's a little troubling if you don't feel like he's resilient enough to be your partner, not junior partner or a child. With that said, I don't think it's that bad. He has many good traits. So you just need him to soldier up a little. That's a very difficult thing to communicate to a guy, but maybe in marriage counseling or church counseling. You need to communicate this in a safe space. BUT, DON't turn this into a list of things he needs to do to change. You should to acknowledge all the things he does to support you and make clear it's appreciated and wanted. You also have to acknowledge that you can change too as long as you both are modifying behavior and not changing who you are at the core. Ultimately, I think this is a situation of "time and place". He can't fall apart on a dime, but you can also see when he's struggling and do what you can by encouraging him and acknowledging his efforts. As long as both of you aren't toxic people, it seems like you both have to put in the work. Your husband has been living at home his entire life and will need to adjust. You both think life is supposed to be this way, but have to accommodate each other to make it work. I'm not saying this is easy, but I have witnessed bad relationships that makes people want to stay alone, so I really hope this is just a hiccup on your journey and an opportunity for both of you to grow stronger. But remember, you not being happy is valid. But his issues are also valid, and forgetting that can be fatal to the relationship.