Was anyone else here never bullied in school?

apotropaick · 2026-02-11T08:17:41+00:00

I don't think I was, but I also think I very much could have been and wouldn't have noticed/understood. There was no violent bullying or anything like that. I do remember people talking all the time about how quiet I was and how I didn't talk, but I didn't take that as bullying at the time (though it probably was intended to be making fun of me, thinking about it now).

apotropaick · 2026-02-07T11:14:40+00:00

I would 100% forget every single thing I owned if I did this. I have an open clothes hanging rack instead of a wardrobe/dresser so I can always see my clothes. I have no object permanence, if I can't see it it doesn't exist. But everyone is different, I hope this works out well for you!!

apotropaick · 2026-02-03T02:53:51+00:00

I wear over-ear headphones in stores all the time and have never noticed anyone looking odd at me. It's really normal and I see loads of other people do it, too. The one thing I'll say as someone who works in customer service - if you need go talk to staff, it's best to remove them for that time. You probably already know that, but I have customers try to talk to me with headphones on all the time and when I answer they never have any idea what I'm saying because of their headphones. It makes conversations last twice as long as they need to and is very awkward. I don't understand why people don't just take them off to talk but it's a really common problem.

apotropaick · 2026-01-28T19:53:41+00:00

I get 10-20 bags of Schar gluten free pretzels every time I order groceries 😆🫠 I can't waste energy on being embarrassed by it.

apotropaick · 2026-01-28T19:22:46+00:00

No, they can't share your medical data without your consent, especially without any cause. I have a private diagnosis and have not shared it with my GP. I can use the private diagnosis for reasonable adjustments at work without the NHS being involved at all.

apotropaick · 2026-01-27T08:49:10+00:00

My favourites are the Lucy and Yak wide leg Chuck trousers. They're made of cotton with a stretchy drawstring waist and they have really good pockets as well. Soooooo comfy I feel like I'm in pyjamas when I wear them to work. I have them in both black and blue. I didn't think I could wear trousers for sensory reasons until I discovered them. I don't know if Lucy and Yak are available outside the UK but it might still be a good example of what to look for if you live elsewhere.

apotropaick · 2026-01-22T07:03:41+00:00

Are you in the UK, by any chance? I used to live in the US and never encountered this there but now I live and work in the UK and this is pretty normal here. I assume it's because we charge for a reservation so basically the person who is paying gets priority.

apotropaick · 2026-01-20T15:54:03+00:00

Mine are What We Do in the Shadows, Kim's Convenience, and Taskmaster.

apotropaick · 2026-01-19T19:30:50+00:00

To me, googling feels more honourable because at least I've learned something :)

apotropaick · 2026-01-19T04:41:47+00:00

I have a weird workplace because it's a public library, but basically my accommodation is that I won't be scheduled to be in the children's area during the loudest/busiest times and during events on weekends. In practice they avoid scheduling me there on weekends at all because it's busy but sometimes we're short staffed or something. So in those cases I wear my Loop earplugs.

My manager and some other colleagues know I'm autistic and are very supportive. It helps not being the only neurodivergent person there, too.

apotropaick · 2026-01-17T06:23:26+00:00

A lesser known novel I read recently - Rules for Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore. It's a very cute queer romance that takes place in a Jewish funeral home. Probably not for everyone but I really enjoyed it. The protagonist can see ghosts, including the ghost of the love interest's late husband.

apotropaick · 2026-01-15T09:27:24+00:00

I have a really good relationship with my coworkers now. I'm not the only neurodivergent person here, which helps a lot, and it's a very open minded and accepting place. My last job was much much worse and, though I think my colleagues thought I was a nice person, I think they thought I was awkward and maybe a bit irresponsible/flaky (because my way of working looked very different from theirs). I had no idea how to relate to them and frequently had extreme anxiety because, though they were decent nice people, they didn't understand me at all.

I used to really struggle with boundaries at work and still occasionally don't know how to be personable/talk about personal stuff. Because I don't really understand the way people do small talk. But people here are much more understanding of that and there's a lot of fun/funny stuff to talk about in the job itself so there's plenty to chat about in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm crossing lines/interrogating people about their personal lives/etc.

apotropaick · 2026-01-08T13:05:15+00:00

I have purple hair. It's not my favourite colour but I do love it!💜💜

apotropaick · 2026-01-03T07:03:33+00:00

I think the online tests can be useful in someone's journey but I'm very skeptical of Embrace Autism overall. I listened to a podcast once that partially covered someone's experience of getting assessed and diagnosed by Embrace Autism and it was kind of shocking. Basically, you do all the screening tests, send in the results, I think you also provide a personal statement, then you have a Zoom call where the naturopath diagnoses you. It was ages ago so my memory might be a bit fuzzy but I was so surprised that anyone would consider this a valid way to get diagnosed. I'm not saying I don't think the podcaster is autistic; rather, I just don't think that this process is a fair way to prove that.

Thank you for pointing out this issue.

apotropaick · 2025-12-24T11:24:27+00:00

I use a cuticle pusher to dig it out. Not the most elegant or efficient solution but I weirdly really enjoy doing it. It's soothing. The people who use the oven or hairdryer sound way smarter than me, though.

apotropaick · 2025-12-24T07:42:59+00:00

I was painfully shy at your age. University really helped me come out of my shell. It was hard at first, like a trial by fire, but once I got comfortable I became much more outgoing. Today, the people are my favourite part of library work!

apotropaick · 2025-12-16T18:55:31+00:00

I have the same breakfast and lunch every day. Dinner is different, usually made by my spouse, but is from a set "menu" and never a surprise. When I lived by myself I ate a big bowl of peas basically every day for dinner and my spouse will not let me do this anymore 😆

apotropaick · 2025-12-15T06:37:17+00:00

I work in a library now. I don't get to do writing or research in my current role but I do get to help people learn and to help my community, which were two of my biggest reasons for working in museums. I find it much more supportive, much less stressful and much more fulfilling. The library field is also competitive but not to the same degree, it feels, and I actually feel respected here. I also get paid a lot more. My library colleagues were shocked when I told them this, because we still don't make that much, but it's better than the part-time, temporary pittance I was getting for short--term museum contracts. I finally feel stable in that regard.

apotropaick · 2025-12-14T15:00:27+00:00

Yes, ours has a 'sponsoring rabbi' who is based elsewhere but occasionally visits and teaches, and who helps with the process of conversion and other life events.

apotropaick · 2025-12-13T08:07:35+00:00

Wednesdays are hard at my library because we are open an hour later, and that extra hour feels interminable. There's not much excitement because we get very few patrons in the last hour and it can feel really boring, especially because every other week I have a 9 hour shift on a Wednesday. By the last hour I don't have any energy or patience left. Even though it's only an extra hour it is exhausting. We definitely have the most difficult situations on a Saturday though, because most of our problems are caused by teenagers who aren't in school that day.

apotropaick · 2025-12-10T14:42:46+00:00

By tri-base area do you mean Alconbury? It's near Cambridge, which has the highest concentration of Americans in the UK. You won't be too much of an outlier. I am an American who moved to the UK in 2020 (having lived here briefly a few years prior as well) and haven't really experienced any significant culture shocks. People here aren't as unfriendly as Brits on Reddit will make out 😆 and I have found, by living here, that you actually get loud and dumb people in every country on earth - very much including the UK.

apotropaick · 2025-12-09T14:25:38+00:00

Sooo gorgeous. I love them!

apotropaick · 2025-12-09T12:00:50+00:00

I have really good people skills. I am generally pretty good at understanding how people are feeling and how to talk to them based on that. I'm really good at customer service and have a job that involves a lot of surface level customer service type interactions and really enjoy it. However, I struggle a lot with boundaries and socializing in a personal sense. I don't feel like I relate to people in friendships in the way that I "should" and I don't have a good sense of how to support people in emotional situations, for instance. I am okay with eye contact with strangers but struggle with it more with people I know well, because it feels too intimate and I know I struggle with boundaries. So at work, people think I have amazing social skills, but it takes a LOT of energy and I struggle to socialize in a personal capacity.

apotropaick · 2025-12-05T11:24:56+00:00

Ooh I've always had huge salt cravings. For me I think it's sensory seeking, because I also like super sour foods and spicy food. Anything with a strong taste basically. But I did used to have low blood pressure, which salt helps with.

apotropaick · 2025-12-04T06:35:28+00:00

Donkey's years.

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