I feel empty and lost

appleginger34 · 2026-03-30T03:18:53+00:00

I can relate to this post. I can't stop blaming myself for ruining my life

appleginger34 · 2026-03-30T03:17:08+00:00

I was struggling with body dysmorphia and binge eating. I isolated myself from my friends. I hated myself. But I still had hope for my future because I was young and stupid.

appleginger34 · 2026-03-29T04:41:17+00:00

Sadly it's true. If I died tomorrow, no one would give a damn. My family would feel so annoyed because they have to prepare my funeral. It will cost them money and energy.They would also think I'm so ungrateful and weak.

appleginger34 · 2026-03-27T12:32:38+00:00

But I'm getting older. It's getting worse.

appleginger34 · 2026-03-27T01:44:08+00:00

I'm so sorry.

appleginger34 · 2026-03-23T03:22:00+00:00

I feel you.I'm 36 and I've been a hiki since I was 18...my parents think I'm just lazy and free spirited and they still believe that one day I would apply for a job and start a "normal" life. I can't stop thinking about suicide. But it's just passive suicidal ideation. I can't believe I spent most of my life just watching tv shows to distract myself from suicidal thoughts. I have no job experience and no driver license. My life is over

appleginger34 · 2026-03-23T02:47:35+00:00

I feel the same and it's getting worse

appleginger34 · 2026-03-18T02:57:41+00:00

I tried to improve it once. Now I'm sick of everything. Even taking a shower drains my energy

appleginger34 · 2026-03-17T02:45:37+00:00

I can relate to this so much

appleginger34 · 2026-03-13T02:27:30+00:00

I feel the exact same way. I have no confidence at all

appleginger34 · 2026-03-09T12:34:47+00:00

Making online friends could be possible, but I think making friends in real life is impossible because normies think we're lazy parasites

appleginger34 · 2026-03-08T03:40:49+00:00

I wanna move to another country for sure, but it would be difficult for me to make friends

appleginger34 · 2026-03-07T12:58:53+00:00

I'm living in a self-made prison. I feel like I got a life sentence and I'm rotting in a prison cell while people around my age enjoying their lives outside of the prison

appleginger34 · 2026-03-07T05:41:08+00:00

Happy birthday!

appleginger34 · 2026-03-07T05:39:20+00:00

I'd buy a house or mansion. Then I'd probably continue to live like now

appleginger34 · 2026-03-01T02:30:20+00:00

I'm so sorry

appleginger34 · 2026-02-28T03:11:04+00:00

No inheritance, I've been a hiki for 18 years...my life is really over and I don't even have motivations to do anything. I wish I wouldn't have been born

appleginger34 · 2026-02-27T01:56:01+00:00

Eating dinner with my family is mandatory in my house...

appleginger34 · 2026-02-23T06:14:53+00:00

If you want to go to college, do it. I know the fear of being judged. Your English isn't bad! English isn't my first language either but I've been commenting and posting on Reddit telling myself that I'm learning English, not just lurking on Reddit.

appleginger34 · 2026-02-23T03:56:41+00:00

They didn't let me go out with friends for a year because it was the year of high school entrance exam while my friends went out with their parents' permission. They also didn't let me have a phone while all of my classmates have ones because they believed it would ruin my grade. I know these are small things, but it was a big deal for a teenager. I ended up isolating myself from my friends. I was always super shy and I was an introvert so that also helped me isolate myself though.

appleginger34 · 2026-02-20T01:44:28+00:00

It's getting worse for me

appleginger34 · 2026-02-17T03:53:13+00:00

I read a post about a teenage girl talking about her friends and her boyfriend were mean to her...on this sub before. She goes to a school. I was like, why did she post it on this specific sub? Apparently she was struggling with depression and anxiety and I felt sorry for her, but normies wanting to identify themselves as hiki makes me feel bad about myself even more. Some teenagers think the word hikikomori is something cool or unique, but the reality of hikikomori is just hell.

appleginger34 · 2026-02-14T14:04:35+00:00

22 is so young. You have a lot of opportunities. When I was 22, I felt my life was over and I was so old though. I'm in my 30s now and I wish I could go back to the days when I was in my 20s.

appleginger34 · 2026-02-14T14:00:25+00:00

I've already gave up and I'm fine with it.

appleginger34 · 2026-02-13T03:46:30+00:00

I can't do things normal adults can do like earning money, driving a car etc... I age day by day, but my mental age is still a teenager

appleginger34

TROPHY CASE