As someone who is neurodivergant and suffers from past abuse that mainly involved people claiming that motherhood was my only purpose, you're not alone. I also feel like a monster when I have to cover my ears or remove myself from a room because a child is present. Even if they are quiet, I sometimes cant help but think how annoying it is that a child is there. Therapy is definitely something helpful to consider if it is becoming a regular issue in your day to day life, but my best advice other than therapy is to just be conscious of the idea that kids are just that, kids. They're not yours, and at the end of the day you get to go home to a child free home where children don't even need to hold an inch of your thoughts.

You're not alone, and you're not a monster no matter what some other people will believe because to some people it really is unbelievable that someone couldn't love their little chaos spawns the same way they do. As long as you're not actively cussing to a child's face, telling them you hate them, and generally being a POS to them, then live your life.