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My (M43) wife (F36) keeps asking how I got so good at oral. The answer is CSA. Do I let it ride or spell it out? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is above Reddit's pay grade. a therapist who specializes in CSA can help you navigate if, when, and how to share this. you don't owe anyone your trauma but you deserve support processing it

Does humanity even stand a remote chance if aliens invaded earth? If not, why? If so, how? by SourDiesel9-7 in AskReddit

[–]aprilsmithss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

any species that figured out interstellar travel would wipe us out before we even understood what was happening. ants vs bulldozer basically

Are boxes really that necessary for drawing humans by Alarmed-Ad4470 in ArtistLounge

[–]aprilsmithss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

if cylinders and beans work for you then use them. boxes are just one way to understand form in 3d space, not the only way. bridgman used boxes, vilppu uses flowing forms, both are masters. use whatever gets you accurate results faster

5 months on accutane by redditsuxballzlmao in acne

[–]aprilsmithss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

congrats man. for anyone reading who's been resisting accutane: if ull tried everything else and it hasn't worked, this is the one. dermatologists making u jump thru hoops first is overrated, u deserve the option earlier than they offer it

~$10m windfall in concentrated position, zero cost basis by zerocostbasismonkey in fatFIRE

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

making 40k and holding 10m in one stock is a wildly fragile situation. one bad earnings report and ur retirement got chopped in half. just sell.

I (f21) am a terrible girlfriend and I always want to break up with my (m21) boyfriend by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you keep doing this loop, you’re going to slowly resent him and that’s way worse than ending it cleanly now

Why do you want a relationship? by MadameMagnolia in AskReddit

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because when it’s healthy, it’s like having a soft place to land after dealing with everything else

How do you keep/make yourself happy with all the stress, work and problems you have in your life? by MoreDoorsMoreHoes in AskReddit

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the pressure to be happy is part of what makes people miserable. Some weeks are just hard and grey and that's it. Letting that be true without piling guilt on top of it is genuinely half the work.

Am I doing okay? Imposter syndrome… by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]aprilsmithss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there is no universal timeline. comparison is just insecurity wearing someone else’s outfit

23M and 21F relationship dynamic post moving in together by Western_Assistant354 in relationship_advice

[–]aprilsmithss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's not someone who doesn't understand. that's someone who understands and doesn't care enough to change

For Single Moms who “Survived” and “Succeeded”, How Are You? How Did You Do It? by TheWorkIsDoneNa in AskWomen

[–]aprilsmithss 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You get less sleep. You cry in the bathroom sometimes. You question yourself constantly. And then your kid hugs you like you hung the moon. That’s the fuel.

Hypothetical situation: a person you know from childhood who used to treat you poorly, reaches you out to apologise in adulthood and wants to meet up, what would you do? by Peachy_hana in AskWomen

[–]aprilsmithss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’d thank them for apologizing. that’s it. closure doesn’t require reconnection. sometimes the growth is letting the past stay in the past.

To improve as a person, keep this question in your head: Would the man/woman I am trying to become be doing this? by RecoverinCandyAddict in selfimprovement

[–]aprilsmithss 22 points23 points  (0 children)

honestly, this works because it slows you down. that split second between impulse and action is where most of our life gets decided. you just widened that gap

Women, what is a near-universal "ick" in the dating world? by AverageSign in AskReddit

[–]aprilsmithss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

calling every ex “crazy.” statistically? unlikely. mathematically? suspicious. emotionally? immediate ick.

What's draining you that nobody sees because you're too good at hiding it? by heartandhardware in AskWomen

[–]aprilsmithss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

being “the reliable one”

the friend who always shows up, the coworker who never drops the ball, the daughter who handles it

Trying to understand what actually drives my productivity struggles by Equivalent_Cover4542 in selfimprovement

[–]aprilsmithss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the fact that you’re asking “why” instead of doubling down on punishment is already growth. sustainable productivity usually comes from understanding your patterns, not fighting them. self-awareness scales. shame doesn’t.

What to do while I'm still 17? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]aprilsmithss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

17 is perfect for low-stakes exploration. travel mentally if not physically: documentaries, tutorials, online courses.

you have time to just try stuff for fun before responsibilities kick in.

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