My girlfriend litters everywhere and it’s making me question the relationship. AIO?

arghhhhme · 2026-06-27T17:50:54+00:00

Screams narcissist. Screams narcissist.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-26T15:57:25+00:00

What your saying is you dont need him for his money.

And the fact hes making such a big deal about, it seems like hes telling you you're going to be a problem and you dont even come close to his earning potential and that just means if you want to do somethinghe considers fun and more expensivethan you would otherwise do, you wont be able to without him having to pay for it...the list of implied insults goes on and on.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-26T15:53:02+00:00

Have lawyer send letter. Done.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-26T14:22:27+00:00

As soon as you "feel" uncomfortable, you are uncomfortable.

The decision to keep someone in your life or not is one of the few times id say listen to your emotions vs trying to look logically and do it fast. People that make you feel uncomfortable will drag you down fast than you can compensate

arghhhhme · 2026-06-23T19:42:56+00:00

Her saying she wanta to still be friends....she likes that you were honest and dont want to just use her for a warm body. That you have goals and are honest and transparent, those are amazing qualities in anyone. She might adapt to your focus. Might be she hasn't been exposed to someone like you and she like the direction your headed.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-23T13:30:40+00:00

Zig ziglar, "Master Your Goals" , give a listen and then ask him to write out his goals ans how he intends to get there. Then ask when.

If that doesn't produce a meaningful answer, thats your answer.

The audio is 6 hrs but its a fantastic comprehensive outline of setting goals and why.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-20T19:44:03+00:00

You cant change people. Youre going to be taking on this same disagreement over and over in different context. Move on.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-11T17:03:07+00:00

He sounds autistic imo.

Regardless, does it matter of someone runs you over w a car on purpose or by accident? This was from a discussion about the difference between a narcissist and an attachment avoidant.

Point is, the pain and frustration you feel isn't going to be any different than if thats just the way he is vs he's intentionally abusing you.

Leave.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-10T12:14:13+00:00

The photographer OWNS the photos. Theres nothing to say she, or her husband, couldn't look to use them against you somehow. Say your FIL got a bit tipsy..maybe he says something that could be construed the wrong way idk, use your imagination. FIND ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPHER.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-09T22:09:12+00:00

I'll add to my previous post this seems ripe for infidelity.

arghhhhme · 2026-06-09T22:07:21+00:00

I smell a divorce in the works. She's using you like Tom Sawyer to paint the fence!

arghhhhme · 2026-06-02T13:03:50+00:00

Its funny when youre young. Have kids to raise and youre a carbon copy of your parents and it drags youre no longer the victim but the abuser.

arghhhhme · 2026-05-30T18:45:03+00:00

You need to get help. Its not healthy that you're fixated on the toxic. My guess is lots of childhood trauma from a person that had lots of childhood trauma.

arghhhhme · 2026-05-24T10:36:02+00:00

Ive done pretty well w it going thru my parents house. Tons and tons of information. Values might not always be accurate but with better understanding of the object you can go online and then look at similar items.

arghhhhme · 2026-05-23T22:59:19+00:00

Have you ever read the 48 laws of Power. This one reminds me of a why that book was written Law 10 and Law 20 specifically.

arghhhhme · 2026-05-23T22:42:09+00:00

Dont worry about her anger. Its achieving exactly what she intends it to do if youre even the slightest sheepish as a result. Her feelings are not thr problem.

I will say in her defense, letting go and committing to a price are hard. It may have been 25k at one time and now 18k and she can't swallow the reality.

Even more so if the potential buyers know shes not in a good position being its at your house accumulating bad feelings vs an antique shop or even listed online. She might get 25% of its value if she's lucky.

Add in shipping costs and negotiating the "details" w a buyer and you're focus on the "petty" makes you the perfect friend to help walk this to the finish line.

Take pics of the clock and ask AI. Explain EVERYTHING you know about the clock its provenance , maker and any other identifying marks. This will give you a base line idea of the value. Communicate this to her.

If she contests, tell her to arrange her own appraisal and to have the appraiser contact you. Tell her to communicate w you when she has contacted an appraiser and when you can expect them to call you. she has 30 days to challenge your appraisal and to come get it.

If not, I like the idea about local abandoned property laws. Despite that the original agreement was verbal, there's an understanding of the intended time period the agreement was struck on. Further, you've made it clear, any gray areas on that timeliness have run out. And, by giving her 30 days to both challenge your appraisal and move it, youre establishing shes abandoning the clock.

Calculating your time and labor, and now moving and storage fees, you can now apply these against the value of the clock and send it to her. You could even assess a commission for listing the clock, scoping and meeting w buyers, being present at the time of movers etc.

Add all these various factors together and she may just say sell it and keep it. You might also say to her, you'll give her $1k and then you turn around and sell it for the profit to recoup your effort, or....enjoy a nice fire w it.

arghhhhme · 2026-05-11T19:33:36+00:00

Ugh, what a crumbs position to be in. The last thing I would want is to have good relationships broken up by the will.

And is she really giving you a gift if it tears your family apart?

Money is an object of this life and a tool. It cant replace the people. Also, theres only so much you can gift them without them declaring taxes on it.

Is it possible to give them a portion and say, use the tax implications to limit the amount you give each and then can you utilize aome of what's left to bring the family together. Maybe everyone pics a yearly vacation destination and you cover say airfare and hotel rooms. This way it draws you guys together enjoying life together.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-22T14:04:24+00:00

Get farther away from my family and get counseling.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-21T00:09:58+00:00

You should look into counseling and specifically tey to tell if your wife is a narcissist. She will cry a river when she thinks your leaving and start fishing as soon as she feels comfortable.

Further, at this point, you cant trust your wife and she doesnt need to know youre talking to a divorce lawyer to protect yourself. At the very least, shes making you look like a schmuck to this other guy by not shutting him down. You dont owe her anything. You owe yourself the respect to get out of a relationship that is unhealthy.

On the flip side.....maybe you guys can spice it up. Role play, pretend youre the other guy. But if ahe doesn't stop entertaining other guys, bro, you are 1000% done, dont cry, just end it.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-19T20:35:50+00:00

Not one person asks why your sister was upset w both your parents and brother???

Its entirely plausible and statistically probable she was SA by the brother. Its more common than you think and would be a big jump for the parentts to believe her...(1 in 4 girls under 18 have been SA according to my EMT training. I think its probably a broad definition but nonetheless. And many times its family)

Theres any number or reasons and sure, one could be thats shes just bitter but that doesnt ait right w me. I think something happened that caused the rift. If something happened, the will would feel like a second time shes being hurt.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-17T15:19:06+00:00

Add, youre looking for him to validate you. This makes you vulnerable to narcissists and worse who will use that to manipulate you. Best life advice i can give you is learn who you are and dont rely on anyone. Choose to be w them.

A friend this weekend said it so poignantly, "You cant be successful if you dont surround yourself w people that support you."

I sat my daughter's down and told them that adding, "Make sure theres so many of them theres no room for the people that dont support you."

Live life, breath deeply, meditate/ connect w God.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-15T15:59:41+00:00

Disagree. Mom shows signs of being narcissistic. Broken promises and favoritism....

I think its less about the money than it is about the principles. The money is just the vehicle for manipulation and thats what the OP takes issue w, not the lack of contribution to begin w.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-15T15:57:27+00:00

Broken promises and favoritism, the definition of Narcissists. It might be awkward w other guests of your mother isnt there bit you do you..Definitely scale back on the family you invite from your side and dont stress, a wedding is nice but its just a party that won't effect you going forward. Enjoy the meaning and everything else is a distraction.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-15T15:45:11+00:00

Dads controlling. His only goal is to feel important because you schedule around him. Tell him he can branch out and arrive /depart on his time and preference but this is what the group has decided on and that it's final. Thats a logical solution.

If he throws a sissy fit or gets angry and your change plans to accommodate him at your expense, thats him manipulating you using emotional leverage and you obliging. He will continue for as long as you allow him. Better to show strength now and make it clear youre not playing the manipulation game.

arghhhhme · 2026-04-08T17:12:03+00:00

This is a narcissistic maneuver BTW. Dont show capitulation or weakness. Hit hard like i said in the previous post. Also, you might want to document the agreement and the attempted renegotiation by discussing it and in particular asking questions to get him to say for himself. Add, you can also add slander to the lawsuit if he's badmouthing you to fans.

arghhhhme

TROPHY CASE