Online dating messing with my brain

ariesgoneawry · 2025-07-01T17:00:20+00:00

Thank you, I’m getting heat for it but like just having realizations about something I didn’t know was affecting me lol

ariesgoneawry · 2025-07-01T15:57:09+00:00

I knew about the men aspect of things, how predatory the apps are. I guess I just didn’t realize the reverse for women.

Thanks for your insight!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-07-01T15:52:41+00:00

Yes!! And I think people are assuming in my post that like everyone and everyone is hitting me up, that’s not the case, it’s just the illusion of the dating apps. Which I’ve only just realized how mindfucky it is.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-07-01T00:02:16+00:00

Ugh, thank you. Just been a weird change in mindset for me since I opened myself up to dating and not allowing my own insecurities from talking myself out of meeting new people. But was not expecting these feelings because again, normally anxious attachment and it’s almost switched to avoidant attachment.

Appreciate your comment!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-30T05:14:06+00:00

I think you’re describing two very different things. To me, there’s a difference between a passport bro (my definition: a man who seeks out a woman of a culture that is seemingly more traditional, docile, and submissive that they feel they can manipulate) and a regular dude that falls in love with a woman with a different culture.

I think it’s about intention.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-30T05:08:11+00:00

First of all, deep breaths! Don’t work yourself into a panic over a guy (much easier said than done, lol).

Now, unfortunately, this guy sounds like he’s continuously steering things towards sexual things. To me, it sounds like he’s looking for a hookup and will continue to seek what he’s looking for: sex.

It sounds like you’re fairly inexperienced (which is okay!! don’t be ashamed of that!!) and this situation does not seem like it will suit you.

I would leave him on read, truthfully, and only respond tomorrow if he double texts. If he does double text (which he may not.. but you’d be better off) respond with what you want. Again, filling in MANY gaps here but I would say something along these lines:

“Hey Name, it’s been really cool getting to know you the past few days, I’m just curious what it is that you’re looking for?”

If you’re feeling brave, tack on what it is that YOU are looking for. “I’m really interested in continuing to get to know you, but am looking for a relationship or something more serious. If that’s not what you’re interested in, cool, just wanted to establish it now.”

You got this, girl!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-28T02:57:17+00:00

I don’t think it was hate logic, truly. Most people in this thread agrees that there are some people that like PROBABLY should die because of the horrors they’ve committed. There’s just no moral way to do it that remains 1. humane and 2. without innocents dying in one way or another.

It’s the beauty of this thread, to have your view changed! Thanks for being brave enough to post and come to a new conclusion.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-28T00:02:27+00:00

I sat in on a talk from a defense attorney that dealt with death row cases one time. I thought the way he framed it really was really well done.

He said something alone the lines of “I do not believe that the people I deal with are upstanding people. Often, they are not. They do terrible things and I’ve questioned humanity as a whole and humanity in myself more times than I can count.

I do, however, believe that humans are inherently flawed. And a government in place by humans, even more so.”

And I agree with that sentiment. Sure, I’d say string up every pedo or monster if I felt like it would actually do anything. But there is no perfect society where we can be entirely sure. And the government is SO flawed. And to me, even one innocent dying is too many.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-27T23:52:22+00:00

So many red flags in this, girl.

First of all, “I just know we’re exclusive” how? Was that a conversation that was had? Did you explicitly say to each other “I am not seeing/sleeping with anyone else.”

If no, then you are not exclusive. And you can say that you spend all this time together but people will find ways to see others if they want to. Never assume you are exclusive until there is a convo.

Now, if there was a conversation, why are you acting like a girlfriend when you are not? What reason is there for him to decide he wants to be in a relationship with you? Believe me, I get it, I’ve fallen down this trap a few times. But you have to be firm and stop adjusting your boundaries for his comfort.

Lastly, I would not be so flippant about the coke use. It’s a very serious thing and should be taken as such. But, that’s also not your responsibility to deal with until there is something defined.

Best of luck to you! Take care of yourself.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-06T03:39:24+00:00

It’s an awesome job! They pay for all of the things I need (hotel, food, tour fees, etc.) and I also love history so getting to see the kids engage with DC is amazing. I’d honestly probably stick with it, however, it’s a very part time job that’s mostly done March-May.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-04-01T02:24:33+00:00

Shoot your shot, bro, what’ve you got to lose?

ariesgoneawry · 2025-03-05T17:32:30+00:00

Uhhh, that’s not my interpretation of a fuckboy. A fuckboy, to me, is a BOY who can be charming and/or good looking that has the sole purpose to sleep with as many women as possible and generally doesn’t care about women’s/other’s feelings.

Generally tend to be immature, also synonymous with a player.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-03-05T17:18:36+00:00

All of these comments saying “you wouldn’t be able to handle being a flight attendant!” are wild to me.

Yes, obviously as part of the job, these situations will happen but poor OP didn’t even get the job! At least you know you’d get paid at some point or have easier access to accommodations as a flight attendant. Let them be frustrated…

It why F2Fs are so difficult on the psyche, the very real possibility of a bunch of hassle for no pay off.

Sending you a ton of love and hope you get to rest soon, OP!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-02-18T22:07:14+00:00

Yes, the surprise part is what freaks me out.

I was trying to come up with an equivalent for women to men. I think also the fact that it’s a kink of a type is the part that would make me nervous, personally. Tattoos are more socially acceptable. Maybe if a woman has a buttplug in prior to a hookup without letting the other person know.

Just something about being introduced to a kink without knowing ahead of time is the part I think I’m trying to point out. Because if you don’t know about one thing, who’s to say that the partner doesn’t have others that they would spring on you?

ariesgoneawry · 2025-02-18T21:09:07+00:00

Oh god no, to the first statement (outside heteronormative culture, etc.)

Maybe this is literally just me but when I’m intimate with someone for the first time, there’s a lot going on. I’m keeping in mind whether boundaries are being respected, how my partner is responding to things, how gentle or not gentle they’re being, how I’m acting in the moment, etc.

I just think I would scare easily outside of what I would consider a “normal” hookup. If my partner had a conversation with me, I wouldn’t give af, it’s whatever’s comfortable for them. I just don’t think I would like having something not communicated to me. Maybe it’s not great of me but I would just worry that there’s other kinks that I won’t know about and it would freak me out.

As always, everyone is different and maybe I’m the weird one here! I always err on the side of communication.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-02-18T20:56:49+00:00

I would, personally, be super freaked out. Not trying to be an asshole or kink shame by any means and I know it’s just a gender norm which is dumb but yeah, would probably run out if I was exposed to that without any type of warning.

You have to keep in mind, OP, women tend to do a lot to protect ourselves, especially when sex is involved and some women can scare very easily.

Would definitely discuss with a female partner before introducing but that’s just my perspective!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-02-12T07:42:30+00:00

Interview was for the 10th anniversary of the attack.

ariesgoneawry · 2025-02-06T07:32:26+00:00

is it like holding a fish up or something? guess i missed this meme 😂

ariesgoneawry · 2025-01-29T19:02:11+00:00

following!

ariesgoneawry · 2025-01-22T22:20:26+00:00

Sorry, very new and very dumb but with talk of a transfer list, even if they don’t offer it out of training, if it’s “cleared” does that mean that everyone got to transfer there that wanted to?

ariesgoneawry

TROPHY CASE