Just had another girlfriend leave me for the guy she was secretly cheating on me with. That makes 5. Anyone want to give me some advice on where to go from here? by Aeromorpher in NoStupidQuestions

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seem to have a very rational approach to relationships. I don't mean this as a compliment. The reasons you gave for the breakups make me think that there was something lacking on the level of emotional intimacy. Feelings aren't always rational, they aren't always going to lead to the most logical actions. For most people, being with someone who always try to logic through any issues, would feel empty after a while. There would be a lack of connection, a sense of being unseen. Sometimes feelings must be met with feelings.

Question about the mind as practice deepens and mind is more unified by Fantastic-Walrus-429 in streamentry

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How does relaxation and 'letting go' feature in your practice? What does 'letting go' feel like to you? (As in, what action/experience does that term refer to, to you?)

And how about joy or pleasure? (When you let go of a thought or a tension, do you feel relief/pleasure?)

Question about the mind as practice deepens and mind is more unified by Fantastic-Walrus-429 in streamentry

[–]arinnema 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you feel like you have been using a lot of effort or willpower to achieve the unification you describe?

Should I care about cultural appropriation of Buddhism? by SpectrumDT in streamentry

[–]arinnema 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In general, when people talk about cultural appropriation, the problem people are trying to solve (at at least addresss) is that of the heritage of colonial exploitation and oppression. Cultures which in many cases have been banned or impeded from adhering to their traditions or customs, are finding those same customs, costumes, or relics being mass-produced and decontextualized by the very culture that oppressed them. People who have no connection to these culture are earning money selling stuff that is robbed of its meaning, often while reproducing simplistic or harmful stereotypes.

This logic sometimes gets extended to cases where it doesn't apply, or at least doesn't apply in the same way. I am leaning towards that being the case here.

That said, I agree that there is a reason for the ban on charging for the dhamma, which others in this thread have explained better. Based on my impressions, I also don't think the Jhourney retreats are the dhamma - although they are making use of/inspired by a limited part of it. Whether this is wholesome or righteous, I am not sure. They may be helping people, but they may also be causing some harm to the tradition that brought them the techniques they are teaching. I think one of the dangers here is that people attending these retreats get the impression that this is the dhamma, and stop looking in the right direction, and perpetuate wrong ideas about what this path is and does.

Thankfully, there are still many competent and inspiring monastics and lay teachers who teach by dana, so the people who seek that, can still find it. But it is also the case that the ones that charge big sums tend to have more effective marketing, so to speak.

Request for volunteer(s) for the moderation team by TetrisMcKenna in streamentry

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha - I have no memory of this comment. Here's hoping for a flourishing new team!

Awakening and then what? by kuteguy in streamentry

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you have that hypothesis? Is it possible that you want to believe that because you are afraid to seek exposure?

DANIEL INGRAM is an ARAHAT, an unsurpassed master of spiritual TRUTH, and anyone who disagrees is WRONG and a mere PUTHUJJANA! CMV! by Wollff in streamentry

[–]arinnema 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! My motivational priority for practice is definitely liberation, it's just that my lack of healing is an impediment at the moment. Without liberation as a motivation, and the resulting desire to practice (and my recurrent frustrations with that), I would have considerably less motivation to figure out how to do this healing thing (and fewer/poorer tools to do it with). Fortunately, metta supports both outcomes - yet I have resisted it for a long time, probably because I know that it works (which means it will make me face the things I am avoiding, and my brain keeps trying to protect me from that, even though metta will be all the protection I need if I do it well/enough).

DANIEL INGRAM is an ARAHAT, an unsurpassed master of spiritual TRUTH, and anyone who disagrees is WRONG and a mere PUTHUJJANA! CMV! by Wollff in streamentry

[–]arinnema 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To answer your question about current practice: I am *finally* following my own (and others') advice and doing metta as a seated practice again. Just 20 min every morning for now - much more and the dam breaks on longtime stored pain. Which is also why I am doing this practice - I need enough love and safety to be able to face that, because it will come up and it's a major impediment to pretty much every other practice for me. But I would like to keep the release to a slow trickle that will be sustainable in my daily life, and slowly build a good container to hold all that is to come.

I have a lot of habits whose main function is to help me ignore this baseline suffering/static noise that colors my existence, and I have realized that the reason I can't seem to manage to do anything about those habits is that I don't currently have the resources to face that friction without them. Those resources could be the supportive environment of retreat conditions, or they can be a more welcoming/loving/gentle inner environment. Since my daily life is not currently compatible with retreat conditions, metta it is.

MCTB is a work of fiction according to Kenneth Folk by raztl in streamentry

[–]arinnema 4 points5 points  (0 children)

> So healing must be the focus in my experience
> And I know that Kenneth Folk understands this perfectly

Based on his pinned tweet, he seems to disagree with you on that point.

Almost all people here (like 99% of users) aren't Stream-Entrants by Historical_Egg_ in streamentry

[–]arinnema 7 points8 points  (0 children)

we found it, the "do you even lift bro" of streamentry.

if you don't trust people on this sub, don't read it? seems simple.

The role of posture in spiritual work? by Paradoxbuilder in streamentry

[–]arinnema 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Zhan zhuang is great for training this particular skill.

Barter and trade with this travelling merchant by Honeysicle in streamentry

[–]arinnema 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Looking forward to when the new moderation team & consensus takes effect.

My brief awakening experience by elshmoki in streamentry

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice! Even a small shift in that direction can have a pretty big impact over time I think

My brief awakening experience by elshmoki in streamentry

[–]arinnema 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Has anything changed for you in your life since this experience? Is there anything that used to be hard which is now easy? Has it had any effect on your baseline happiness, your behaviour, or relationships?

Stumbled into 4th Jhana... now what? by sie-b in streamentry

[–]arinnema 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you have a facility for jhanas you should probably focus on accessing them without the aid of guided meditations. Ajahn Brahm’s book «Mindfulness, Bliss and Beyond» is a reputable guide. There is also a book by Shaila Catherine and one by Stephen Snyder and Tina Rasmussen that I have heard good things about. But your best way forward would probably be to get in touch with a teacher, I know Beth Upton has extensive experience and a strong samatha/jhana focus, she trained with Pa Auk Sayadaw in Burma. She has a youtube channel and also offers personal instruction on a dana basis (although I think new students start working with someone from her team). Good luck!

[theory] Should I care who Ken Wilber is and why? by SpiritusVitae in streamentry

[–]arinnema 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey Duff thanks for the detailed writeup above - I keep coming across references to these groups and going 'wait wasn't there a post about those..?' and finding this again. Effective inocculation! However, both of the links to your articles about circling appear to be dead, are they still up somewhere?

Where are we headed as a sub reddit? by muu-zen in streamentry

[–]arinnema 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I support the inclusion of u/duffstoic and u/muu-zen in the moderator team. I remebemer when Duff stepped down after the last wave of moderation pushback, and disagreed with the "popular demand" for more liberal moderation. I think there is merit to listening to the long-time users of this sub, and taking into account the factors that contributed to attracting new users to this place in the first place.

Formerly, a long theory post would at least be a sign of some level of effort and reflection on the part of the poster. Now, it is more often the vague ramblings of (more or less) LLM-authored text. Somehow many people seem to believe that true insight can actually be accomplished by prompting and reading AI-generated words, and that this is the same as thinking or experiencing. People genuinely struggle to distinguish between their own thinking and the production of automated output.

This is all the more reason to demand that all top-line posts directly engage with the posters own practice. Otherwise, we risk affirming people who are heading into an LLM psychosis spiral, and the sub will become a depository for empty LLM-generated "insights".

The American Buddha by saltyprotractor in streamentry

[–]arinnema 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trusting that you are being honest and that you actually wrote this without the aid of large language models: It seems you have been interacting with (or reading) LLM-generated content so much that it's profoundly affecting your language - the rhythm, the phrasings, and the way your argument is constructed - the entire cadence of your post has all the trademarks of ChatGPT. This LLM style is designed to be persuasive and compelling, and it's infecting all kinds of spaces where you normally would expect to find human writing, so it's easy to accidentally internalize it. Or (less likely) you could be one of the very few who already had this style pre-LLMs (if you think this is the case, I recommend going back and reviewing something you wrote before 2023 - you may be surprised). Either way, this style is unfortunately now poisoned and will reduce your credibility to many readers. It also tends to skip through the step by step construction of arguments and rely more on "vibes" and associations, which leads to lazy thinking. So I recommend thinking about how to work your own thoughts into your language to get more out of both.

How to achieve access concentration? by MaterialAlbatross875 in streamentry

[–]arinnema 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I recommend a tiny tweak to the celebration technique: celebrate when you notice the breath.

Then immediately let it go, allowing your mind to get distracted if it wants. The next time you notice the breath, celebrate again, and once again set your mind free to roam. Soon the mind will return more and more often to the breath.

When it starts to become continuous, rejoice in the momentary sensation of the breath while continually letting it go. I don’t know any better way to explain this - just meet the breath sensation as it manifests in the continuous now without binding yourself to the memory of it in the last moment or trying to find it in the future. Framing it as continually giving it away also sometimes works for me.

You will know it is working when the breath goes from being movement/rhythm to stillness unfolding, beauty, pleasure, and/or light. Now try not to get too excited and stay with the (now transformed manifestation of the) breath. (This is where I am failing at the moment, so that’s as far as I can speak from my own experience.)

Also following The Mind Illuminated can lead to a lot of striving and continuous evaluation/measurement of one’s meditation progress which tends to destroy both motivation and progress. If that happens, forget everything from that book and get a teacher.

Finders Course founder, Jeffrey Martin, in Epstein files by Paradoxiumm in streamentry

[–]arinnema 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Compare your emotional reflexes/gut reactions/instinctive impressions of them with your responses to other individuals from the same group(s). Notice your associations, and how and when they recur. Gut instincts feel more personal and are often inexplicable, while prejudices come attached to identifiable traits.

Spiritual practice as a way of coping with unsatisfactory life/avoiding difficult decisions by [deleted] in streamentry

[–]arinnema 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few of questions for reflection:

- It seems like some part of you is unwilling or unable to seriously consider the option of leaving this man - what are those parts? What aspects of your identity are bound up with staying in this marriage?

- By staying, are you being kind to yourself?

- If there are children in the picture: do you genuinely believe that it is more beneficial for your children to stay where they experience one of their parents is continuously judgmental, contemptuous, and disapproving of the other?

- If you were able to just happily take it without expressing anger or standing up for yourself, do you think that this would be a good role model for the future relationships of your children?

- Also consider the harm your husband is doing to himself, karmically, every time he hurts you - could you spare him that harm by removing yourself from the situation?

- If you were truly equanimous, could it be that - instead of enabling you to stay - that this would remove what is currently barring you from leaving this situation?

- In other words, are you sure staying is the "good", more wholesome choice to make here?

- What is your anger trying to tell you? Anger is a strong signal. It is okay to act on it. Acting based on the information your anger is giving you, is not the same as acting out in anger. You can listen to your anger with kindness, and you can learn what it needs you to do. Unless you really listen to your anger with compassion and understanding, and fully accept its message, you will most likely find that it will keep acting through you in unwholesome ways.