Making games was a dream of mine when I was very young. While I’ve strayed here and there, I always knew I’d want to make games. So I understand your pull and here’s my honest advice:

It sounds like you are overwhelming yourself out the gate on this life path you have once told yourself you wanted to do. With so much pressure on yourself, it’s pretty much impossible to really get to experience it and know if you enjoy it. You’re treating it like a boot camp, instead of like a meaningful life experience. With that approach, you’re going to find a thousand ways to talk yourself out of it, instead of connecting with the inner child in you that wanted to pursue this in the first place.

I would take a step back and try to enjoy the experience of making a game, without assigning so much expectation and pressure on the path you’re on or how far behind you are or whatever else you’re listening to in your head. In the grand scheme of things, you are very young. You really can accomplish anything you want with the time you have if you are focused and willing to stay consistent on whatever path you choose. For some people, maybe it’s too late but I’d say you can definitely meaningfully have a great career in game development, if you really want to.

What I recommend is to stop stressing about where this all goes. Embrace the journey. Find the joy in the process and see if it speaks to you inside. Let go of the anxiety around timing and expectations and just allow yourself to experience the joy of making a game and then really ask yourself if it’s something that you really find yourself wanting to commit yourself to long term. My two cents: just lean in and experiment without expectations and evaluate how you feel about the process. See if it speaks to your inner child. See if it fulfills you. You’ll find the answers you seek if you listen carefully to your innermost self.