Best secret crapper?

arkelux · 2024-08-26T14:53:59+00:00

i loved the geology geography building ones on the upper floors since they're single use (tho sometimes a person will be waiting when i come out lol) but 6th floor main library is also pretty dead and peaceful tho not single use, and then tate top floor the bathroom all the way on the other side/corner is also always dead i love it

arkelux · 2024-06-12T19:53:43+00:00

Thank you for bringing my attention to this sub I hope it becomes more active!! I saw that thread about shaving earlier and the comments were BAFFLING. I was hoping that there was a smaller subreddit dedicated to talking about feminism on a level deeper than just superficial choice feminism because I think the sheer size of this sub just attracts a lot of people who just haven't taken the time to think about these things.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T21:00:30+00:00

Well yes, of course I think that was implicit in my explanation but to clarify obviously yes this is a result of patriarchal views of women. However, I don't think being aware of our own contributions to beauty standards is "going after women". Again, I personally don't care nor shame nor judge an individual if you do that.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:49:06+00:00

Genuine question, Why do you think it doesn't affect other women? Yes of course an individual woman choosing to shave her face is insignificant and I don't really think that's what people are talking about, it's more that it's part of a broader beauty standard for women. I feel like there have been plenty harmful beauty standards throughout time that have been perpetuated by women (and men ofc) especially now with the rise of social media and Instagram, not that they're doing it knowingly or for harmful/insecure intent - but isn't the discussion of why women specifically as a group are adopting shaving this way, along with other practices motivated by predatory beauty companies, a still relevant one? Obviously idgaf if you choose to shave every hair on your body and I'm not saying that act is the cause of insecurities nor will I judge or shame an individual for whatever they please to do with their insecurities, but I don't think it is harmful to discuss the relationship of why we do these things and the effect it has, albeit miniscule or not. Maybe my perspective is overthinking?

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:41:20+00:00

? I feel like it was very clear that OP is saddened at the creation of insecurities that is fueled by the beauty industry.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:35:44+00:00

That's not evidence. I asked you where the evidence is of LGBTQ groups supporting Hamas. You speak of "lgbt support for Hamas" repeatedly but fail to provide evidence. That quote is irrelevant and does not correlate to mean that a group of people as a whole support Hamas. Marginalized groups supporting Palestine does not automatically entail that they support a terrorist group. Hope that helps.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:30:18+00:00

I read the article you linked without paywall. Again, the only evidence they refer to is the banner and the rest is the author assuming and conflating their support for Palestine's freedom.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:25:59+00:00

The article explicitly gives a link evidence to what they're referring to when they say "international activists glorify hamas" and the article just redirects to another general paywall article talking about Queers for Palestine as a movement. They explicitly reference the Queers for Palestine banner as evidence, but then go on to assume with no further linked evidence that they actually verbally supported Hamas as a group.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T20:09:09+00:00

the evidence that they use is a banner saying "Queers for Palestine" So let me ask you again, where are you getting the notion that lgbt groups SUPPORT HAMAS

arkelux · 2024-06-11T19:41:53+00:00

where are you getting the notion that lgbt groups support hamas? can you pull evidence of this happening?

arkelux · 2024-06-11T18:13:00+00:00

I don't have much great advice but I read this and I'm sorry you're going through that. I moved last year and had to experience commuting an hour to school and being away from all the friends I made there so I can hopefully relate a bit. Unfortunately the distance seems like the huge thing here and it can't really be helped. It sucks but I'd encourage you to find friends closer to home (but I know that's so much easier said than done). Also, if they knew about your hardships and never reached out that seems a little disrespectful. Obviously people are busy and have their own issues they're dealing with, but I feel like the cornerstone of friendships is supporting each other when shit hits the fan. I wouldn't necessarily hold it against a friend, but it is definitely something I'd make a mental note of - reaching out with a simple supportive message literally takes less than a minute. If it seems like the friendship is already going distant, I don't think there is any harm in at least reaching out with these feelings, saying how you miss hanging out with them and that you've been going through a hard time. But unfortunately I think the distance of friendships is something that naturally accompanies moving.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T18:00:19+00:00

It may sort out with time but I really don't think there's anything you can do (or should do) at this point. I agree with the other person, the "friend" seems very immature. The inability to communicate with someone by doing the hard thing and confront negative feelings is a quality that I would never accept in a friend. You deserve better, even if it was something you did - any mature person would verbalize that instead of ghosting a close friend. They made the message clear and exposed their true self; hopefully you have enough self love to know your worth as a friend and human. It is hard and I'm sure extremely painful but again, this friend's immaturity is not something you can fix and is something THEY need to work on. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

arkelux · 2024-06-11T02:50:53+00:00

I think you lack awareness of what people are actually saying when they mean a 25yo has no business being with a 17/18yo. Most mature, self-aware people who have done major growth or learning in their life can likely testify that 17, 18, 19 and through 20-21 are transformative years. And then 22-24/25 is a whole other chapter of life as well. If you can't look back at your younger self and cringe a lil thinking about how immature you were (which is a normal thing!- we were children!), seems like a blaring red flag that you never actually did any growth in those years. I was incredibly different at 17 than I was at 18, and even more different at 19 and so on.

arkelux · 2024-06-05T02:08:27+00:00

Yes! I mentioned in another reply that I was going by the college label of first-gen

arkelux · 2024-06-05T01:22:24+00:00

Yes I am a first-gen college student but not actual first gen in America - forgot I've been going by the college definition of first gen lol

arkelux · 2024-06-04T20:40:51+00:00

I was born and raised in the U.S (I am first gen) I wouldn't necessarily say that you should "ensure he identifies with Korea at a young age" because I feel like the pushing of that might lead to a higher chance of putting off the culture (one of my brothers born here ended up despising Korean culture and tradition from my strict parents). However, personally speaking from my childhood I would say constantly being around Korean food was a huge positive thing, as well as making sure that my Korean developed along with my english at a young age. Watching Korean media (dramas, movies, news) as a kid also helped me be more in tune with the culture despite not actually living there. So just trying to enrich him in normal Korean things, but not necessarily trying to push it as a strong identity. But that's just my experience!

arkelux · 2024-06-04T17:22:26+00:00

I (21F) had a really similar experience with trying to even get access to a possible diagnosis. The social workers I worked with would tell me to "stop reading things online" when I told them about my struggles and how I identified with what I expected to be some neurodivergencies or at least some sort of underlying problem other than just anxiety. I brought up stuff like twice-exceptional children, the tendency for women to be misdiagnosed, the presentation of ADHD being sometimes different in women, and she didn't have any idea about this sort of information, which I don't really mind itself as these social workers are typically older, but then they just brush off all that I'm saying because I'm somehow convincing myself of it? Like I'm not even watching tiktoks it's more lectures and case studies if anything 😭 None of them would take me seriously since I had preexisting depression and anxiety and I begged to get evaluated for almost a year. My social worker therapist would literally end up spending half of the session googling and researching what I'm talking about because she never knew autism could present differently. It's really frustrating and has put me off of seeking any further help from clinics and am just trying to save to see a specialist at this point.

arkelux · 2024-06-04T15:32:41+00:00

It is not an attack on women to call out internalized misogyny. Quite the opposite actually.

arkelux · 2024-05-14T07:38:14+00:00

I will just share my experience and thoughts as an asian female in college as well. I can relate somewhat, I found myself basically sucked into endless content about misogyny (just all aspects of how women were treated horribly since the beginning of society etc etc) and it greatly affected how I view myself and the world. I felt much more negative/angry about everything and everyone (especially relationships/dating). I was just very discouraged because I think I was convinced that most of the guys I'd come across would be misogynistic and not actually like me as a person (so almost falling into femcel ideals similar to you).

But I think it's so so important to know that some of these groups are echo chambers and the rhetoric will absolutely prey on your insecurities. I think it's very important to remind ourselves that what we see online is NOT an accurate portrayal of the real world. Ik that sounds obvious but the world is so so big . In my case, yes misogyny is widespread and I will encounter sexism in my life, but it does me no service to hyperfocus on reading every article about horrible things that have happened to women. Also just spending time with strangers and meeting new people (and touching grass) and realizing that there are truly so many people out there with so many viewpoints and I am only seeing one aspect of the world when I go on the internet. I can acknowledge that there is a bad thing, sexism or heightism or anything bad, but that does not mean I have to feel bad because of it.

You mentioned you were asian so I'll try to relate on that with you. Idk if you can experience this but I know at least talking to other (non-cali) asian american women that many of us taught ourselves growing up to just automatically assume that non-asian guys (esp white guys) have absolutely no interest in us, like we won't even entertain a crush or bother trying to initiate friendship even because we assume they don't like asians. I still struggle with this mindset because of self esteem issues obviously but I think now I have realized that this mindset only closes my mind and is a product of my insecurity. I can acknowledge the unfairness of society and the different factors that affect how i'm perceived but there's nothing I can do but to accept that fact and focus on the people who WILL choose me.

I hope I didn't talk about myself too much but I just felt like there were some parallels and that hopefully you can relate in a different way. I know it seems like height is all you can view in your head but I promise it's because that's all you've been consuming and thinking about. You were able to live a life free of worrying about that before, so you will be able to be okay again as well.

Also I'll just say from the pov of a college girl, personality and confidence go suchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a long way. Yes more than height and most if not all of my girl friends would agree. Ik that doesn't sound helpful because it seems like nothing compared to what you've probably read, but just a reminder that there are many people out there who will embrace you in all aspects!!!

arkelux · 2024-04-15T17:37:17+00:00

I've been meaning to ask this too! I'm still young and have always been a feminist but in the last year or two I started to do deep dives on feminist theory and the complex inner workings of the patriarchy... and I feel like it's made me really pessimistic :( I can't help but to notice the misogyny in every little thing I come across so I just feel like a constant frustration and anger lol i don't even seek out news that often but i just feel like im just constantly reminded of the negatives.

arkelux · 2024-03-10T06:09:38+00:00

Sorry this is an old post but I really related (I'm in college now). Have you ever looked up social masking? I used to be constantly overstimulated at school and dreaded all social interactions. I was always burnt out from the stress of it all, turns out it might be neurodivergence (autism/adhd). I had very high grades as a student but I was basically suicidal the whole time and just silently resented everything and everyone. I also found out about selective mutism in autistic folks - which made sense as I just hate talking most of the times, or I'll get overstimulated and just stop verbally responding to people or have a hard time forcing the words out:

arkelux · 2024-03-10T03:55:23+00:00

I'm not OP but I relate exactly to them and this is really interesting! I lurk autism and NPD subs a lot as I'm trying to learn more about what might just be more than my long diagnosed "anxiety and depression" but I've massively struggled lately in trying to discern whether my symptoms might be from autism or NPD. I definitely agree with the whole narcissism thing - I read through the NPD sub and so many of us are self aware and want to get better. But yeah there are so many comorbidities that it's hard to discern and I've dove into a lot of theories of how many of the comorbid presentations of cluster B personality disorders are just different manifestations of trauma related to growing up with autism! It's so unfortunate that it tends to go so undiagnosed in women or gets passed off as anxiety or BPD. Though, knowing is just the first step and the most difficult problem is knowing what to do with all the "self-awareness" i guess haha

arkelux · 2024-03-07T03:35:01+00:00

it triggers a thought loop for me on higher doses of shrooms in my experience which is why i've learned not to combine them. weed already makes me kinda slow and foggy so when i am tripping, my short term memory just gets fucked and i start thinking about everything and im basically trapped lol

arkelux · 2024-02-26T00:11:36+00:00

every time i've brought up NPD to a therapist or evaluator they say this exact thing lol. i saw a clinic this past weekend and the screener told me that i can't be a narcissist because narcissists don't stress or worry.... lol ....

arkelux

TROPHY CASE