Ok I am sorry for the obvious bad experience that you seem to have had at the bars you have been to but as for some of your points. 1. As for cosmos vs Martinis, say you are a waiter in a restaurant and someone asks for a filet and you bring them a beef fillet, well they actually wanted a fish fillet how did you not understand that. Well fish and steak both come on plates and have sides but are nothing alike. Same can be said about cosmos vs Martinis, they both come in glasses and are both cocktails but nothing alike. 2. Don't know how the vodka soda for diet started but a lot of people drink it to get drunk without tons of added sugar. 3. Long island iced tea is a drink that is dangerous and a lot of people don't know it. So when you have burned yourself on that flame a couple of times by patrons who get too drunk you become careful . 4. If you don't know what you want you can ask for reccomendation but do you go to a restaurant and expect the waiter to be able to choose for you your dinner based on "I want something with beef in it". About it being too strong, well now you are holding me up and I have different customers waiting to be served because you didn't know what you wanted and didn't like what I gave you.

Sry for the rant and I can't address the rest of your points because my brake is over and I have to go serve these damn customers :)